Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Every thing is broken....

I wrote this review Jan 28th 2006 and as far as I am concerned Amazon owes me big cash because from the stats I have 1 of 4 people finding me helpful. How can you please 25% of all people on Amazon. I work hard for this company. Its about time they came off with some jing and shit. What up with these corperate drones?

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Everything is Broken, January 28, 2006
Reviewer:Jonathan W. Williams (usa) - See all my reviews
I always love reading Jared Diamond (no relation to Neil) he just has smart things to say. This book is no different in my judgment from his other works, its subject is different but there are some similarities as well. I read the book and it takes me back, back to what some call simpler times, but I don't know~`All life is fraught with immanent peril and if I digress forgive me, I have a point.
You see it was around thirty odd years ago that I became a partner with my buddy Joe. Good ole Joe had experience in 4H and had great success raising and showing, rabbits at the fair. He had a few ribbons under his belt and a couple of empty cages up in the barn and we began to chat. Joe explained to me the ease in raising rabbits and if we had good stock (Ribbons from the fair) we could breed the champions and sell the baby rabbits for a respectable profit. Me not one to shy away from a sure deal signed on with an investment of somewhere around $60.00 to buy a couple of show rabbits, I forget what kind, they had a reddish coat and big ears.
Yep that's how Joe and I became partners, we went to a respected bunny man and bought some prime bunnies, then we put them in the cage's separate and fed them water and bunny food. Easy enough, I remember the pile of rabbit dung piled up a couple of feet and it sure did not smell pretty, but neither does a lot of business deals. It came time to put the male with the female (Joe knew when I just watched, once voyeur...) anyway the two went at it like a frigging whirling dervish in a blender. Joe separated them and then we waited, not one bunny, not one. So we coupled them again, again the freak show, the long wait and nothing , no bunnies. Joe being 51% owner of our enterprise asked around and soon discovered we had bought some bum rabbits, they were not to old to copulate but to old pro-create, the baby bunny was doomed. We were pretty bummed. I was until I decided after reading many a fishing magazine how much money you could make farming worms! I told Joe about my idea and he was not cheered in the least, in fact the little pessimist scoffed if memory serve's . So I sent away and got some information on worm farming and realized that rabbit poop would be my secret earthen ingredient to raise super worms that fishermen would drive miles to buy from me and eventually my employee's. Joe gave me permission to dig some of the poop from under the cages for my new independent business venture. I dug up a bunch of dirt and found worms in my yard and then hunted some at night with a flashlight. I had a box I had made that my mom was not to pleased with sitting behind the house outside the kitchen window. My father tried to persuade me that pure rabbit poop sprinkled with urine was maybe not the best way to raise a super breed of fishing worms, I judged them fools and moved on...Well the rabbit earth became real hard and all the worms died. I was the only one surprised. I tell you I sometimes think people are happier if you fail. Why this book reminded me of this I do not know, but read the book!Its pretty dang good! Written but not edited by JWW

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Old Man Ritz on the Rocks

You know I cannot remember if I have posted this review and am to lazy to check. I am just trying to buy sometime so I can finish my next review. The next one will be on the book "Collapse" by Jared Diamond, serious shit so pay attention. I may have posted this, if I did, I did. I just got tired of looking at the calf and dog picture, besides this is a family blog and such animal porn should not be present all the time. .JWW


Sackcloth 'n' Ashes ~ Sixteen Horsepower
Price: $12.98
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours

14 used & new from $6.98

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

Bandoneon?, January 16, 2005
I think I'd have to look up the spelling which I wont since this is a music review and not a written' review. Anyway a Band0neon is like an accordian but different in ways I dont understand, they feature this instument on a number of cuts with very haunting results.The lyrics are haunting as well, its a Flannery O'Connor mood crossed with all the greats of bluegrass ghosts, it creates a unique sound you would be a fool not to enjoy. It reminds me of the times as a child we visited old man Ritz's house deep in the woods behind our house, Mr. Ritz worked for Nasa and seldom visited his family farm getaway, so we ran amok on his property,never at ease mind you, but amok we ran. He was a scary figure who we never met and never expected to meet until one day I landed a job picking up rocks in a freshly plowed field, we would ride on a trailer behind a tractor and every so often the tractor would stop and we would hop off and pick up the rocks and throw them on the trailer. I suggested to Uncle Leon (the farmer who farmed Mr Ritz's property for him) that we just paint all the rocks red and have the migrant workers pick them up thinking they were tomatoes, he didnt think to much of this suggestion so we continued with our work. The next day we were picken' up rocks when a man walks up to Leon and told him we should paint the rocks red and tell the migrant workers they was tomatoes...This album reminds me of my first and only meeting with old man Ritz.Buy the album.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Me Hermano has History with Perro’s and Ternero

I received a note from a friend ( we will not call them deep throat, like the Watergate informant) its best we keep their name out of this whole sordid story. I will recount from memory the best I can what was told to me along with photos. G Gordon Liddy was not involved other than the rat he ate, which is an entirely different story so forget what I just wrote.

It was at Bahia de Los Angeles, Bay of
Angels in Baja, where one of the women that worked at the restaurant had a
calf that lost its mother, so she would walk it to work and feed it bottles
of milk during he day. One is never enough and after the ternero was fed
he'd holler for more but none would come,(sp) until the local dogs would
come along to help the poor calf out and offer him additional nursing.
Trouble is, it was all male dogs. Sorry I didn't get a picture of them
all lined up, but be assured they were all interested. The calf was
very thorough. Chuck said he was tempted to get in line, I said behind
which animal. He said, 'well, I've never had a dog...."

Dog help me if this is not all based on fact…JW

Friday, January 20, 2006

Character Builds a Blog Scoundrels Fight the Effort

My blog was hijacked and used to create havoc through out blog land. With help from allies we discovered the perpetrator and I now try to recreate my blog. If my name insulted you on your site then we must be related. In the event I attacked you unprovoked then keep in mind it was not me but the one(s) who caused the above photo of my blog post hijacking.

Soon , very soon back to perfection My Mule will run free again! The black part on the left was all that was left before reconstruction. Kind Regards JWW

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Fishin' for the bottom feeders!

Someone has hijacked my site and is leaving nasty notes on other blogs in my name. I am an arse but look at my history if the comment does not fit my profile then it was not me, I promise. I am on the trail of the bottom feeder. Justice will be served to the hijacker not me, me I'm as innocent as a little baby! JW

I have the stats on the bottom feeder thanks to crabcake crack detective work. Lord shes goood people: Here goes if it looks familiar let me know.
HostName: 66-211-195-21.velocity.net
Location: Erie, Pennsylvania (ring any bells?)
Browser: MSIE (Win 2000) (so happy it's not a mackie person)

It Aint Safe In The Arizona Desert Either

My buddy frank was cruising along some single track in the Mountains North of Phoenix when he dodged what he believes was a mole person. (not native to this area) Franks fine but them cactus sure dont take no prisoners. Take note of the leatherman crew removing some of the cactus the guy working on Franks daddy parts is former world moto-cross champion Chuck Sun. A good man to have on hand when you need a prick pulled through your dungeree's.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Mole People Kill Sponge Bob

Sponge Bob was found dead, with his face eaten off on a deserted street on the Isle of Celebes. The last sighting of Mr. Square Pants was from a local woman who prefers to remain anonymous “ I saw him cavorting on the beach, happy as a clam, wearing a necklace that looked as if it was made of milk duds, that’s the last I saw him , he gone now, I cry long”.
Maybe Mr Roscoes theory that the 864 toilets flushing at the same time on the equator at 15% longitude’s intervals “ has torn a hole in the fabric of the universe or split the earth’s belly Seppuku style releasing legions of carnivorous mole people with a human blood lust”. Then another post from Roscoe “Moles are in the yard. I should not see them until spring. They keep banging on the doors and windows. Their leader (I guess he is the leader) demands MilkDuds. We’re in some big shit now”!
Maybe we danced with the devil , tempted fate, if I may quote Samuel Clemens
“Now I can only pray that there may be a God--and a heaven--or something better”.
I will be busy looking into these strange happenings and by God if I started the battle of humankind versus the Mole people I will find the silver bullet, I will avenge our lost comrades! The blame lies on my shoulders and I will make good of this tragedy, oh what has my hubris wrought? JWW

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Project Toilet is Underway

Well we have all 24 stations set up and manned every 15% along the eqautor. Thanks to all the help from nearly 7,000 volunteers. Heard from Big Bill, sounds like he had a run in with pirates but should be fine.
Each station has 36 remote controlled toilets placed on motionless platforms. (Gyroscopes and shit) Roscoe is circling the globe in aSR-71 Spy Plane and will trigger the toilets at exactly about 5 minutes ago, a milk dud will be dropped in fully one minute before the flush to simulate a very small turd. A digital recorder will remotely be triggered to record each of the864 toilets. All the water has been purified and contains no minerals, other than what milk duds contain.
Why all the trouble? To answer the age old question of which direction will the water spin when flushed on the equator, lefty or righty? The results could take awhile to anaylize but good science takes time. Why did we need a luxury liner? We had the extra funds and for the girls to celibrate with Roscoe after he complete his perilous mission. God Speed Roscoe and I can not wait to start reviewing all the recordings of the toilets. It's been hard work but I am optomistic it will prove worthwhile to humankind. JWW & (Roscoe in absenctia)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Just West of Sumatra

Around 75 degrees West of Sumatra on the Equator one of our crew anxiously awaits orders.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Calzone is Risking Wings and Tail !

For the greater good of science Calzone offered his services. I found a boat and a red neck cooked to his favorite temp. 98.6, he is in the cabin on the couch with a warm Blatz resting on his tummy.
Calzone you have your coordinates and with your training I am going to trust you to this entire section of the equator. If you have any questions contact me, at ...well you know... Your the best dragon I ever did know!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Big Bill is on His Way!

I hope he asked his wife. But Big Bill took off to patrol and protect a rig we have set up off the East Coast of Somalia. God be with ya Bill the area is rife with pirates but I am sure you and your crew can handle whatever they throw at you. The Derrick is resting steady at before discussed location, check in if you can. A fine example of a Hero for Science! I fully expect a ticker tape parade upon his return.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Roscoes Boat for the Ladies

He showed up but before I could set up a plan he was gone. I say's "Roscoe logistics"? he said "Ship and helicopter" and like a nuns fart he was gone. Well General Jane,ing, Roxie here is your ship. There is a number of places for names so if you want to name it just find a spot and paint it, just remeber its not easy spraying paint dangling over a railing. We have a crew of 200 Eunuchs waiting to serve you. May I quote Van Morrison? Yep its still my blog...
We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was one as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Roscoe on The Run!

From satellite feed I discovered this image of Roscoe, in north Africa acquiring another bike for our project. I am relieved that he is safe, but distraught that he is taking this so seriously to risk life and limb.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

We Scored a 640!

Roscoe just sent word via a unique runner express system which we copied from the ancient Peruvians. He scored a few bikes ! I sent the messenger back for him to "get more" . I was worried but things are beginning to fall into place. I have not heard back from Freak Show which is always a good sign.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Grand Experiment ! The Search for theTruth! Amen!

Bill of Materials:

186 identical pristine toilets plus at least 10% spares.
24 sea/land rovers worthy of the worst conditions mother nature has to offer.
75 desalination machines (industrial).
24 plus reverse Osmosis machines.
Suits you wear that turns your urine into drinking water.
240 Eunuch volunteers.
864 females.
European navigational system will be up and running by 2012 (in case we fall behind schedule) I like to have some back up and hell Lorans are a dime a dozen grab as many as your shirt will conceal.
864 digital video cameras and some spares,
864 computers attached to some sort of servo system and some spares
I need a good globe.
We need a bunch of self composting toilets as well.
We need at least 40 marine toilets.
We may need food...We need a bunch of food.
Birth control pills, enough for 864 females.
A very modern and attractive micro-wave oven. (maybe two)
A few helicopters.
Someone who is skilled in the uniform creating arts.
400 Gallons of Boddingtons.
More later, I have to do some more head thinkin'.

94 second hand bongs. We have $9.12 additional from the sale of Ing's rude video too. Only thing is that it's Australian $
Toilets – ing has pledged some
Toilets – Jungle Jane has pledged some as well
Toilets - Roscoe , cheif engineer and scientific expert. Also has a lead on the 864 pristine prison stainless steal toilets. He has promissed to employ Freak Show Roy to deal with the Russian mafia to aquire these. The others we can use as spares and cute whimsical planters.

More later the list grow its overwhelming but worthwhile. I need to get on the Ameche with Roscoe to discuss our needs and such. Any and all positive suggestions are welcome. JWW

This is one wild Church

MMMMmmmmm Baby.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

I Like This Approach

Well I guess I may as well spill the beans Jungle Jane and I are the same person and so we go to the same church as the picture proves beyound the shadow of a doubt.