Saturday, January 28, 2006

Old Man Ritz on the Rocks

You know I cannot remember if I have posted this review and am to lazy to check. I am just trying to buy sometime so I can finish my next review. The next one will be on the book "Collapse" by Jared Diamond, serious shit so pay attention. I may have posted this, if I did, I did. I just got tired of looking at the calf and dog picture, besides this is a family blog and such animal porn should not be present all the time. .JWW


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Sackcloth 'n' Ashes ~ Sixteen Horsepower
Price: $12.98
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours


14 used & new from $6.98

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

Bandoneon?, January 16, 2005
I think I'd have to look up the spelling which I wont since this is a music review and not a written' review. Anyway a Band0neon is like an accordian but different in ways I dont understand, they feature this instument on a number of cuts with very haunting results.The lyrics are haunting as well, its a Flannery O'Connor mood crossed with all the greats of bluegrass ghosts, it creates a unique sound you would be a fool not to enjoy. It reminds me of the times as a child we visited old man Ritz's house deep in the woods behind our house, Mr. Ritz worked for Nasa and seldom visited his family farm getaway, so we ran amok on his property,never at ease mind you, but amok we ran. He was a scary figure who we never met and never expected to meet until one day I landed a job picking up rocks in a freshly plowed field, we would ride on a trailer behind a tractor and every so often the tractor would stop and we would hop off and pick up the rocks and throw them on the trailer. I suggested to Uncle Leon (the farmer who farmed Mr Ritz's property for him) that we just paint all the rocks red and have the migrant workers pick them up thinking they were tomatoes, he didnt think to much of this suggestion so we continued with our work. The next day we were picken' up rocks when a man walks up to Leon and told him we should paint the rocks red and tell the migrant workers they was tomatoes...This album reminds me of my first and only meeting with old man Ritz.Buy the album.

27 Comments:

At 8:53 PM , Blogger ing said...

That was a beautiful tribute, Josh. I'm going to run out and buy that album right away!

It's so odd that you and Ritz had the same thoughts. Do you think that in a past life you were Old Man Ritz and Old Man Ritz was, in a future life, Young Josh Williams? Or is Ritz a little secret your mom's been keeping (e.g. kin)?

Josh, I mean it, Amazon is lucky to have you on the team. I salute you!

 
At 9:24 PM , Blogger Phats said...

when is the next animal porn suppose to be posted? dead rat on dead cat action?

Nice review, hmm ing has me really confused after reading her comment

 
At 4:35 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Thanks sooo much,I need the moral support, reviewers have hearts too.
I beleive it was a back to the future type thing I met myself in the future and past. Only differace is NASA hasn't been beating down my door, but soon Amazon will be , maybe battering in my door would be more accurate. Thanks for the support JWW

Phats: I am unsure when I will have any more animal porn or necrophilia animal fetish stuff, but my radars up for you pal, just as soon as its comes in I'll post!

 
At 7:54 AM , Blogger ing said...

You might want to kill two birds with one stone and review a book about animal fetishes.

Here's one. Or this.

Buh-bye,

 
At 10:16 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Josh your review is perfect. the *only* thing that's missing is a nice set of Tom Waits lyrics...

 
At 10:39 AM , Blogger kellywalters said...

fantastical..

so... whats up for tonight?

 
At 4:33 PM , Blogger ing said...

Hedgehogs.

 
At 4:55 PM , Blogger Gorgs said...

hedgehogs are awesome.

 
At 6:42 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: I will study these books, but gaw! Do you realize the size of my reading already...Its large in scope and shit.

JJ:I plugged 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
and a Black Crow snuck through
a hole in the sky
so I spent all my buttons on an
old pack mule
and I made me a ladder from
a pawn shop marimba
and I leaned it up against
a dandelion tree

And I filled me a sachel
full of old pig corn
and I beat me a billy
from an old French horn
and I kicked that mule
to the top of the tree
and I blew me a hole
'bout the size of a kickdrum
and I cut me a switch
from a long branch elbow

Chorus
I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

Well I slept in the holler
of a dry creek bed
and I tore out the buckets
from a red Corvette, tore out the buckets from a red Corvette
Lionel and Dave and the Butcher made three
you got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree
with the strings of a Washburn
stretched like a clothes line
you know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Repeat Chorus

Now I hold him prisoner
in a Washburn jail
that stapped on the back
of my old kick mule
strapped it on the back of my old kick mule
I bang on the strings just
to drive him crazy
I strum it loud just to rattle his cage
strum it loud just to rattle his cage

Repeat Chorus


ROxi: The same stuff, ya know what I mean...

ing: Headge hogs kinda like that Kafka story, living scared underground and shit and stuff.

Apostle S: Your damn straight!

 
At 6:58 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Josh your stooopid Tom Waits lyrics utterly ruined my post today and i think you might find an angry bunch of hedgehogs on the loose. i tried to get my bull terrier to defend you - i hope you feel really bad when you see what happened to him....

 
At 8:58 PM , Blogger ing said...

Aw, man! Tom Waits makes the hedgehogs happy!

 
At 9:26 PM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

Tell the truth, you were wearing a womans bikini and stuffing the rocks down the top and that's the only reason this Ritz guy said two words to ya. In fact if wemins didn't have them big rocks, mins would never talk to em.
Hedgehogs are good, but the hybrid peagel is better. A cross between a pig and a beagle, it hunts rabbits then produces bacon. So the big Grizley bear asked der rabbit:
"Say rabbit, do you have a problem with shit stickin to your fluffy white fur?"
"Why no."
Then the bear ate the rabbit. Kind of wraps up that fairy tale don't ya think? Hedgehogs my butt, pick on something your own size.

 
At 10:35 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Mom's got a hedgehog butt! Mom's got a hedgehog butt!

 
At 6:19 AM , Blogger ing said...

Mom, would you mind the cushions when you sit down?

Thanks,

 
At 7:12 AM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

The thing with the cushions is no matter how careful I am, Josh comes along and takes them to his room so he can sniff them.
Did you read where he wanted me to dress in a yellow sun dress complete with bonnet? Then he wants to fight with me!!! Hence the 'Pick on some body your own size' line.
See I'm a lover not a figher. It's those who are insecure with their man hood, or woman hood, who want to fight me. I'll fight a woman if the principal is right. Besides I always hope it winds up like James Bond and Pussy Galore in the barn in Goldfinger.
Nuff said? Good. And Good night

 
At 7:29 AM , Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

I'm totally into hedehogs too man...a bunch of us move every other Tuesday

 
At 8:56 AM , Blogger crabcake said...

Ok. Do a Stephen King review now! And maybe something on the new American Idol album??????

What?

Why's everybody lookin at me like that?

What'd I say?

What?

 
At 4:41 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: No such thang as a tupid Tom Waits lyric.

ing: Your shooting straigt!

Mom: I just know moms dress will be wrinkled from have a session with the cute cashier boy at Old Navy.

Bill: Hedgehogs are good people.

Crabby: The brilliance of my reviews is they fit all books, write a review, pick a book.

 
At 8:11 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Well I checked on my reveiw and it is published and so far 0 out of 3 found it helpful...Fuckem'. Bunch of stoopid heads!I'll publish after I go to bed get up and do some things and then if I am not to tired I will see how unhelpfull I have been. Dang if I know whats wrong with people?

 
At 8:31 PM , Blogger ing said...

Mom:

Did the pricipal tell you to fight? Shoot, I'll fight you without any prompting or insecurities, whether that principal is right or wrong about this -- he should stick to running the school and leave the lecturing to the teachers. But you have to wear the yellow sundress, because I think I see the point; it'd be like getting to beat up Nellie Oleson, drat her!

Josh:

I don't think your parents paid up front to have your snore glands removed. Puhleeeeeeeeze turn over!

 
At 9:38 PM , Blogger ing said...

MWAAAAHHHH! Wake up! Fire in the hole! HEELLLLP! Satan is looking at you-oo, maybe it's the things that you do-oo! Up and at 'em! Arise! Look, there's Tom Waits! Here's my shoe, here's my other shoe. . .

Rats. It's hopeless.

 
At 5:30 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: you OK? Wake up ing, ing wake up! Aw, your alive and up on your feet good as new (shoes are on the wrong feet). That was close, man did I piss off Tom Waits or what, uh oh here comes Homer Simpson in a sundress, parasol and bonnet go get him tiger!

 
At 8:06 AM , Blogger kellywalters said...

woah..

so.. drugs free float around here huh?

 
At 2:09 PM , Blogger madman said...

Havent you posted this?

 
At 2:48 PM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

I own up to the fact that I look like Homer, I have even seen the episode where Homer is in a dress, so I kinda know what I would look like in a dress. First question, WHY would any one want to see me in a dress? Picture it in your head, then tell me WHY you would want to see that.
Second, why does every one want to fight here? I know Josh is a scrapper from way back, ask him about getting his butt whipped by a dwarf on the school bus!
Now he wants to fight me and I'm twice as tall as a dwarf, the sun dress will only make me meaner and more embarasing to get pinned by.
I think Roxi is right, ya'll on the drugs

 
At 6:28 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

mm: Yep I thought I had but was not sure.

ROxi: I told you guys I kid napped an apothacary a few years ago, he will brew up what ever you need be it aspirin or something popular these days.

Mom: Because I can...Hmmmm Rock Stars is there anything they dont know?

 
At 3:07 PM , Blogger Roscoe said...

I remember the summer of rabbit stench, worm farms and Josh’s bi-weekly trips to “That special doctor you just talk to”. The whole family went. Heck, they invited Joe and me to go along. Josh would dig in his worm box to no avail. The ammonia sludge burned the nose so bad your ears itched from the inside. It became imperative to convince the poor kid that he was a victim of worm rustlers. . . “Probably that weird kid down the road.” The next summer, Josh put a large dead fish in a coffee jar and buried it – to dig it up three weeks later and use it for bigger fish bait.

Mom If you want to get a “lovin’ up”, wear the sundress, put a bag over your head, and maybe the dog will hump your leg.

 

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