Monday, December 24, 2007

Archive for my Beloved Reviews

I changed my email address a few years ago and then ended up buying a book on
I have been a reviewer of the arts for a few years and so I offered my talents to Amazon. I am a fan of small book stores and few they are so my reviews are basically what I did before I blogged, which also was intended after my first few reviews a medium to offer satire’s or just a thumb of the nose at large impersonal, inhumane conglomerates . I fear they will be erased from history, when Amazon grows more menacing, so I have to save them here or like the Library of Alexandria all this super great wisdom is burnt, so to speak. This is survival I’m talking about and other things. Kind Regards JWW

Narrow Dog to Carcassonne
by Terry Darlington
Edition: Paperback
Availability: Currently unavailable

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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Ditto time Two, April 27, 2007
I am surprised to read negative reviews on this book, pay them no mind, this book is great fun, well told and I will most definitely be buying their new book. I have been up and down much of the inter coastal waterway so this should prove interesting as well. Strong work! Now its time for me to digress...
I remember when I was but a wee lad living in the country. I had a bow and arrow, I had a spool bolted to it, which was wound with fishing line and a special arrow. I could tie this line to this job specific arrow so as to shoot fish, the special arrow had retractable barbs so if I hit a fish it would cling to the poor thing like a fish hook, pull on the line retrieve the fish and then what? Fishing with a bow at least in my case should be renamed failure, not one fish, I shot a number of logs, but no fish, life goes on...I also had good ole fashion regular wood arrows with feathered ends and sharp points to shout at trees, trash cans anything large and stationary. My older brother Chuckles came up with a game that was a lot more challenging than what I had been doing. There was a Utility pole between our house and a small cottage in our backfield, the pole was a 6x6 and was used to string power to the cottage. His idea was to shoot an arrow straight into the air and try to pierce the top of the utility pole, leaving an arrow as a calling card to all other utility poles, don't mess with the Williams boys. We gave no thought to what would happen if hit the power line, but we did keep our eyes on the arrow in flight, keeping tabs seemed like a good idea since we did not want anymore holes in our young bodies. When I look back on this I realize it was a stupid game as well as dangerous, but I make no claims that we were smart, but we were alert, we never took our eyes off the arrow's. "Stupid but alert", is this how my epitaph will read? I cannot predict the future but I can tell you that if you have a sense of humor you will enjoy this book...Kind Regards JW
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Reviewer's Tags: terry darlington

A Briefer History of Time
by Stephen Hawking
Edition: Hardcover
Price: $17.82
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2 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great read!, January 28, 2007
I have the utmost respect for Mr Hawking's theory's and his ability to question his own theory's, this book was a great read and I would recommend it to anyone interested in time and stuff.
Time for instance it was years ago that I was taught how to use firearms by my father and Grandfather. They were both very strict and would often yell obscenities when I would aim the gun towards any where but the ground away from them. My Grandfather was a wildlife protector (game warden) back in the early thirties at Lake Mattamuskeet in North Carolina. Game wardens were not well received back then, they being a new branch of government control and what right did they have to make them buy a license to hunt for waterfowl? LakeMattamuskeet to this day is a very remote and rural area, so new ideas are not snapped up like in New York or Kokomo. As I was saying whenever I was holding a rifle, my grandfather would chastise me regularly, he had been shot by accident in his life so he took firearms seriously, people are careless he was careless so he bore a scare on his leg and shoulder from mistakes. He instilled in me a deep respect that makes me a nervous wreck when I am around people who have a firearm and handle it with little caution. This reminds me of the old saying ... You can give and infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of firearms and eventually one of them will not shoot himself or colleague.
Well I have a few problems with this theory....
1. Who counts the monkeys to make sure they are infinite in numbers.
2. Where does on keep an infinite number of monkeys with firearms. Earth would pile up with them pretty fast, the final frontier would have to be utilized. Space suits would be required and modified firearms that would fire in a vacuum not to mention without the benefit of oxygen to ignite the gunpowder.
3.You would need and infinite number of banana trees to feed the monkeys, which would require an infinite amount of arable land and workers to cultivate and ship to the monkeys their dietary needs.
4. Where are the monkeys to throw their scat, a really advanced sanitary system would be needed to deal with all the monkey pitching.
5.So we need an infinite number of space suits, referees to document whether a monkey is injured, an infinite number of rifles for the monkeys and lanyards so they would not loose them in space while they slept.
6. There would need to be an infinite number of begetting monkeys to produce the infinite number of monkeys..
7. I have nearly an infinite number of question regarding this theory, but do not have the time or space...
In conclusion I still respect Mr Hawkings theory's , but I do wonder if he has avoided the Spiraling Monkey Theory in Infinite Space. These are questions that need to be asked, which I just did so now these are questions I would like to be answered.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jul 15, 2007 10:54 AM PDT

Cyclepedia: Motorcycle Information
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5.0 out of 5 stars It even made sense to me!, September 30, 2006
I have been riding and working on bikes since 1969.I have had far more fun and success riding than working on my bike or not working on it and then it...then nothing was fun, stuck on the trail banging on the side cases with a screw driver thinging that might fix the dang thing.
In short I hate working on my bike, I draw a blank when people start talking about working on bikes, now however I have a secret crutch. Simple concise and with great illustrations (I work well with pictures as guides). If I am not careful I may become through osmosis mechanically inclined and then I'll be the one tricked into working on friends bikes before a ride! Really this has helped me alot, everything you wanted to know about motorcyles but were afraid to ask, could have been the title. I'd give it the Golden Crescent Award...
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Harvey & Eck
by Erin O'Brien
Edition: Paperback
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1 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read For Those of You That Read, March 5, 2006
This was one good read, from beginning to end.I am reminded that I am a tangential book reviewer so you might defer to the other reviews, I would not recommend this book if I did not like... It reminds me of the time I was on an off road motorcycle journey though the outback of Nevada. One of my friends took video's of a lot of the trip with helmet cam and stuff. He burnt it on CD and set it to music, really did a great job the only thing is for some reason he felt inspired to download some hard core porn on the beggining of the trip, and then had caught some footage of me wiping down after a good outback squat. Oh and the sleezy hotel where we overnighted and the woman who's short shorts revealed most of her mommy parts.It was a great trip lots of laughs and I have a video unsuitable to show my folks or anyone under the age of 18. Thanks Len it was a cool video but next time can you leave out the bang bus, that was more tangential than this review. I am unsure why this came to mind good books just bring out the best in me I suppose. Read Erin O'Briens book, its a real keeper.
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Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
by Jared Diamond
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.56
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3 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Everything is Broken, January 29, 2006
I always love reading Jared Diamond (no relation to Neil) he just has smart things to say. This book is no different in my judgment from his other works, its subject is different but there are some similarities as well. I read the book and it takes me back, back to what some call simpler times, but I don't know~`All life is fraught with immanent peril and if I digress forgive me, I have a point.
You see it was around thirty odd years ago that I became a partner with my buddy Joe. Good ole Joe had experience in 4H and had great success raising and showing, rabbits at the fair. He had a few ribbons under his belt and a couple of empty cages up in the barn and we began to chat. Joe explained to me the ease in raising rabbits and if we had good stock (Ribbons from the fair) we could breed the champions and sell the baby rabbits for a respectable profit. Me not one to shy away from a sure deal signed on with an investment of somewhere around $60.00 to buy a couple of show rabbits, I forget what kind, they had a reddish coat and big ears.
Yep that's how Joe and I became partners, we went to a respected bunny man and bought some prime bunnies, then we put them in the cage's separate and fed them water and bunny food. Easy enough, I remember the pile of rabbit dung piled up a couple of feet and it sure did not smell pretty, but neither does a lot of business deals. It came time to put the male with the female (Joe knew when I just watched, once voyeur...) anyway the two went at it like a frigging whirling dervish in a blender. Joe separated them and then we waited, not one bunny, not one. So we coupled them again, again the freak show, the long wait and nothing , no bunnies. Joe being 51% owner of our enterprise asked around and soon discovered we had bought some bum rabbits, they were not to old to copulate but to old pro-create, the baby bunny was doomed. We were pretty bummed. I was until I decided after reading many a fishing magazine how much money you could make farming worms! I told Joe about my idea and he was not cheered in the least, in fact the little pessimist scoffed if memory serve's . So I sent away and got some information on worm farming and realized that rabbit poop would be my secret earthen ingredient to raise super worms that fishermen would drive miles to buy from me and eventually my employee's. Joe gave me permission to dig some of the poop from under the cages for my new independent business venture. I dug up a bunch of dirt and found worms in my yard and then hunted some at night with a flashlight. I had a box I had made that my mom was not to pleased with sitting behind the house outside the kitchen window. My father tried to persuade me that pure rabbit poop sprinkled with urine was maybe not the best way to raise a super breed of fishing worms, I judged them fools and moved on...Well the rabbit earth became real hard and all the worms died. I was the only one surprised. I tell you I sometimes think people are happier if you fail. Why this book reminded me of this I do not know, but read the book!Its pretty dang good! Written but not edited by JWW
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The Old Man and The Sea
by Ernest Hemingway
Edition: Paperback
Price: $9.60
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Opsanus tau , December 29, 2005
Great short story I read it a couple of times it remind me of my childhood, fishing for the might toad fish. Yes the toad fish or if you are feeling less regional the oyster toad fish or Opsanus tau if you will. When I was a boy we would visit the Atlantic coast of North Carolina (the Pacific Coast of NC was to far of a drive) and hang with my grandparents. My grandfather would as a rule take us fishing freshwater and then for a week or two we would be on the coast fishing in big blue aka the Atlantic Ocean. My grandfather was not flush with cash so we normally found very creative places to dip a hook.
Shrimp and squid was the bait of choice, my grandfather would scoff at my collection of lures and try as I might I always went back to real live dead bait, because the lures never worked and the dead bait would produce. We would use a 2 oz weight with two hooks, drop it into the water and most of the time you could real in two fish! Pin fish, blow fish, croakers, preacher dicks, eels, spot, mullet among others but my favorite was the toad fish! The toad fish is ugly and not good to eat but it was a fighter and the sense of danger you would feel when trying to take it off your hook was addictive, the thing had jaws like a vice and always in the back of my mind I would think "what if this thing latched on to my daddy parts"?
The ocean is about fished out, I cant remember the last time I caught a toad fish ~` I t makes me sad but then again I don't fish that often if I am on the coast so maybe the sea still has a bounty but its lost to me, I miss the I caught bottom like tug of a toad fish and the adrenaline rush I felt when I would ask my grandfather to help me get it off my hook. The book is a must read and thats all I have to say. Kind Regards JWW
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Sailing Alone around the World (Penguin Classics)
by Joshua Slocum
Edition: Paperback
Price: $9.60
Availability: In Stock

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8 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Blackbeards Splintered Skull Cap, October 19, 2005
I have a sailboat and I loved the book, buy it read it and you will not be sorry.It reminds me of...Oh my goodness I feel giddy!
Abandon all hope ye who enters these paragraphs. I have a tale from the sea so terrible that upon first reading you would beg to have your most personal uncharted parts dry shaven daily with the splintered skull cap of Blackbeard himself for all eternity, rather than reading the tale again!
The story, based on fact but rendered inaccurate ,hobbled by my memory, I think it happened a long time ago. I may remember it as a tale of my courage and grace under fire, that is how my memory best serves me.
Memory I have found is not a servant called upon to dutifully reply to my every need but a jester that makes me look silly and the fool without effort, without fail and without thanks.
Around 1975 myself ( a man of uncommon courage) Roscoe , Roscoes twin brother Joe, my brother known as Chuckles and Roscoes big brother known as big John. Ventured fourth on the devils waters of Eagle Creek Reservoir on a small 14 ft. pontoon boat, an experience that would change us all, even my memory. We borrowed the boat from my dad and it was not in the best of shape, powered by a10 horse unreliable aka "Johnson" motor. In today's dollars I would guess he paid around $2.00 large for the entire vessel.
We somehow launched the boat and went to Crappie cove as I will call it because we were going to catch some Crappie. I was sitting at the head of the boat, the front part not fenced in, sitting in a aluminum chair cushioned with nylon straps next to "Joe" he sat proud and ready to pitch in and help with the lines if need be, an able seaman if ever one lived. We were jointly in charge of watching for stumps and such and I also had the highly esteemed job of anchor boy. Not a small responsibility when you consider that an anchor can keep a boat from falling off the edge of the earth and such. Never mind that it was a small mushroom shaped anchor which even in my young mind I considered to be of little prestige but I was still in charge of something, my peeps trusted me!
Again I sat at the head of the boat, huge tackle box at my side saddled with duties and responsibilities, I was proud and maybe a little cocky. My brother "Chuckles" was at the helm, or holding onto the outboards tired and trembling arm. "Roscoe" was in his chair and "Big John" was sitting beside him in his chair I have to think it was not made of aluminum and nylon because even at 16/17 the boy was not suited for a mere mortals chairs, hence the name "Big John".
We anchored off a likely spot for crappies, bass, krakens god knows what else but there was structure and anyone worth their salt knows that where lie structure there lies fish. I tried every lure in my arsenal and nothing, not a soul on the boat got a byte so I was given the order , pull anchor and lets "move on up away". I did so with much theatrics , a determined look in my eye, a certainty of purpose , feigned muscle strain and finally laid the anchor beside my chair calm on the exterior but barely able to contain my excitement about the coming order to drop anchor.
Brother Chuckles had the old Johnson wound out and we had to be doing nearly 7 knots when all the world became confusing. The boat began to dive nose first into the water, my legs were wet all the way to me bum, I looked behind me and first saw the Johnson's propeller spinning in dead air, I could count the spin of the blades , my brother looked very confused trying to shut down the power, "Roscoe" was holding tight to his pith helmet with both hands and his brother "Big" was holding on to Roscoe with one hand and the side rail with the other.
Funny thing about big brothers they can treat you like hell your whole life and all at once in time of need they are protecting you from plunging into the depths of the devils waters...God this is a long story! GAW!
Here is what happened . Ole Anchor boy set the anchor to close to the edge of the boat and it fell off while we were speeding down the cove, the wimpy mushroom anchor gained a tight purchase on something and almost made us end over end the 14' pontoon boat. My tackle box was swamped with water, I lost a hula popper out of my tackle box, the boys would not help me fetch it as it drifted into the stumplands, and to this day I curse their names. I lost some other priceless items but will refuse to hold a grudge, I think the boys where just frightened , an emotion I am unfamiliar with. However I did recognize the look in my friends eyes.
We figured out what happened, I was chastised for no good reason and then we went back to the ramp and loaded the boat, most of the crew a little shaken, as I remember I was calming them with cheerful words and distractions. Since Chuckles and Big John were around 16/17 we went to Shakeys Pizza afterwards. The elders ordered a couple of their famous pizza pies, with black olives and a couple of pitchers of beers, the youngin's (13/14) snuck sips of the beer when the help was not looking. We may have even sang along to the "If you knew Suzy" follow the bouncing ball prompter on big projection screen. All of us changed one way or another, all of us trying to forget or make light of our brush with death, all the while I tried to distract my friends and sibling so as not leave their psyche's damaged for life, I needed them to grow up normal and responsible, hell one of them might need to bail me out of jail sometime, keep em sane was my thinking, no need to molly coddle the poor bastards just keep them sane.
Consider this tale of the sea and tell me it does not rival, if I may be so bold the "Flying Dutchman" ? Dare ye counter? I thought not.
It is said even to this day that if you venture onto Crappies cove late in the afternoon, you can hear a ghostly popping sound, said to be my lost hula popper searching for a safe purchase in my beloved tackle box. Copyright Josh Williams 2006
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This Is Spinal Tap (Special Edition)
DVD ~ Fran Drescher
Price: $9.99
Availability: In Stock

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3 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This Movie will put your mind in a half nelson of hilarity, September 19, 2005
You have to see this movie , it really is like rock bands and the things they say and do , heart wrenching at times and heart warming at others. It reminds me of when I was a Freshman in High School and I signed on for the wrestling team. A few problems here, first of all the weight class's started at 98# I weighed 88# when the moon was not full.
Wrestling requires physical fitness that can not be faked. I was completely confused about the whole game. First of all I was a runt who spent his time goofing off, riding my mini bike, and shooting some hoops. I signed up for this God Awful sport/game/torture and the next thing I know I am running six miles with short little legs that would have equated (if my calculations are correct) to 35 miles.
I managed to compete in a number of meets and remember thinking during the various match's. How did he move that fast? Why do I feel all crunched up? How come he wont let go of me? What did I do to deserve this? I ended up with a perfect record, no wins all loss's... I retired after the first year and to this day am proud of my efforts.
If you dont buy this DVD then I challenge you to a wrestling match! I tell you boxers, martial artists whatever... if you let a wrestler get a hold of you its over, since most fights end up on the ground the wrestler has the advantage. So buy the DVD or suffer my skilled wrath.
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Longitude: The True Story of a Lone Genius Who Solved the Greatest Scientific Problem of His Time
by Dava Sobel
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.40
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6 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book for those who like things like history and learning the origins of history., August 28, 2005
Dava Sobel wrote a book that taught me about , the origins of the chronometer. I am still amazed how John Harrison's clocks started out as huge Multi Stone devises and evolved over his years of labor (40) into accurate hand held device's. Not really a challenge unless you consider the reality of the task, for instance a clock has to work accurately in all temperatures and humidity, for his method to work. Different metals expand and contract at different temperatures...Read the book it is an easy read and will make you appreciate and understand navigation better than you had expected.A side note this book was written by a woman, and if you think about it real hard, had women been given the equal respect back then that we are close to today this book would not have been written. Had this been the case a woman would have asked directions and not needed a device that governments spent fortunes on, men lost their lives for the lack of and...
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Victorian People and Ideas: A Companion for the Modern Reader of Victorian Literature
by Richard D. Altick
Edition: Paperback
Price: $19.70
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3 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Top of the line!, August 2, 2005
I can not tell you how splendid this work is, I just am flabergasted! Some books are written and then some books are "written"! This book was "written"! Hands down I have to tell you this was a book that was "written" !
I am a professional critic so I have a few gripes. One the binding bent to easily when I threw the book against the wall. OK, so I have a problem with big words, the book uses big words when little words would suffice. Call me crazy but do not call me if you plan to read this p...I am told I will love the book and given time (and some time on the rack) I suppose I would, but at this point I will have to reserve judgement until I read the dang thang. Please do not hold your breath....Best book I have ever...Go read now!
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Reviews Written by
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MacArthur Park
Price: $13.98
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35 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful story, April 30, 2005
Great music if you like it if its not your gig then your reading the wrong review, my reviews are sometimes tangential but that's my style and I would rather stop clicking the keyboard than let some kill joy bungle head stifle my passion. I was reading a review on one of my reviews just the other day which is a rare treat and the critic I think was overly critical, I kinda think he was just not that mart...But everyone has an opinion and this is a public forum so in the words of someone "bring it on"!
Jimmy Webb(wrote MacArthur Park) was being interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR recently and he said his favorite version of this song (and he's has had thousands recorded) was performed by Richard Harris. He did say Richard refused to stick to the title lyrics but used the possessive MacArthur's Park, poetic license if you will, and Jimmy was fine with that and so am I because this is the second favorite version I've heard yet.I have plans on opening a Corn Dog/Lemon Shakeup stand in the near future and will concentrate my vending dream to small art fairs, what will make my Corn Dog/Lemon Shakeup stand special is I plan on hiring my friend Lynn to play piano and perform "MacArthurs Park" live all day and into the evenings, as much as I like Richard Harris's version hers, well how do I put it? How about show biz terms, she just upstages the poor dead Irishman. If he were alive today he might work on his act and give her a run for the money but for now my moneys on the Welsh girl.
Years ago Richard Harris was on the Merv Griffin show and he was telling a story about when he had been out tipping the pints with Richard Burton and another guy? I'm not even sure if Mr. Harris could remember but he told the story about his walk home and he just sat down, done walking in his mind.He sat there and a police officer approached him told him that in the shape he was in he would be better off at home, which Mr. Harris replied "yes sir I am on my way, you see the way I figure it the way the world is spinning my house should come by any minute" the officer let him sit and the audience laughed, me to I think.
Me da used to play this over and over again on the eight track whilst singing along, its a wonder I am not "deef" from the cacophony but here I sit today to tell you you have to buy this CD and when you figure out the meaning of the lyrics please email me and I will give you a pound sterling! Why the officer was bothering innocent street drunks and not out looking for the criminal who left the cake out in the rain? I don't think that I can take it cause it...just don't make sense. Buy the CD they dont make them like this anymore, better on vinyl and best on eight track if you can find such a rare gem.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 31, 2007 11:09 AM PST

Trout Fishing in America
by Richard Brautigan
Edition: Paperback
Availability: Currently unavailable

33 used & new from $1.90

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The First Remote, April 6, 2005
I cannot tell you how much I liked this book when I read it, under identical circumstances you will be pleased you did.
It reminds me of my da and his inventiveness, best my research indicates he was the first person to invent the remote control for television. Part one of his invention, not because this was his first innovation but just because this is how I chose to place this innovation in the review...Part one was a long electrical cord with an on off switch spliced to it so he could lean over the side of the bed and he could click the switch and like magic the TV would come to life or if he felt like clicking it again it would go black crackling and popping while it cooled.
Part two of his innovation I was able to be a part of, whenever he needed to change the channels he would yell my name with great enthusiasm...Boy! Boy! come here quick, I would snap to life and run to his room with great anticipation look at him and say whaaat? He would reply "could you change over to channel 6 ? hold on, hold on, now try 13 hmmm. go back to 8"....Thanks... Well I would leave frustrated and determined not to fall for that one again, but within an hour Boy! Boy! come here hurry! I would run upstairs and say "whaaat"? "could you change the TV over to Channel 6".

Boy:"But Da I'm studying for my drivers license test, I don't want to flunk"

Da: " try 13 again"...

Why this books evokes these memories is a mystery but so are a lot of things.
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Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values
by Robert M. Pirsig
Edition: Paperback
Availability: Currently unavailable

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17 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Read the book, March 26, 2005
I enjoyed the book, like any good trip. Below is my own version, not like the book but I aint no Pirsig and I do not apologize for this fact.Enjoy the book, wipe the philosophy from your feet and then relax with another good book. I'd recommend my autobiography published on Kind Regards

It was around 1971/72 that I first discovered an alternative to how to determine if your motorcycle had spark or not. I credit my brother Charles Chadwick with this revelation and I will soon explain. This was in the days of Nixon's Watergate, Hunter S Thompsons prime, Dark Side of the Moon's debut and me learning once again that my brother cared so much about me as to teach me to trust no one.
I had been riding bikes for awhile and being a child of nine/ten I cant blame myself for being ignorant of the workings of a two stroke internal combustion engine. I knew how the method of testing for spark if your bike would not start, just take the plug out lay it on the head and kick her over, you see spark you have spark.
Good ole Chuckles ever mindful of my education taught me a shocking method of discovery.
This was along time ago so patience please, my bike would not start, I did everything I knew mechanically to diagnose the problem. The bike had gas, the fuel petcock was turned to the on position. I checked for spark...nothing. Chuck came to my rescue and started to work on my bike kick it over and over as if it could be flooded, mumbled a number of ridiculous hypothesis why my bike would not start, then I should have recognized that dreadful glint of discovery in his eyes, he had a solution. "Josh hold onto the plug while I kick it over I need to check something"...Although my last Doctors visit did not indicate I am in imminent peril of going into cardiac arrest , I learned from my beloved brother at the tender age of nineish what it must feel like when you hear from the cold distance a paramedic yell CLEAR! A shocking revelation, and a lesson well learned.
Travel through time abit to 1976 and I am riding in North Carolina with me Da and my brother, we always visited in the summers and Christmas since this was where my grandparents lived. Always a good time and always a good story , if I could only remember them all. This year it was Christmas and me da had the state of the art Yamaha 1976 360 mono-shock motocross bike. Set him back a pretty penny, I agreed not to go to college so he could indulge himself. The bike was awesome! I being a prime example of neoteny could only ride the bike if someone would start it for me and then I would run along side it and jump on when I felt I could balance the beast. The thing was a brute but my god what a blast, I can still can feel the power and glee piled upon glee and...Where was I?...Yea North Carolina, me da, Chuckles (Charlie does not like this nickname, nor do I like being shocked by a live spark plug, paybacks) were out riding on public land, a big sand field really, I dunno, this was 1976 for crying out loud and lawyers/environmentalists had not gained a foothold on the proper methods to bleed us of our freedom to ride around and have fun. Me da took a break, gassed up his new 360 and then promptly could not start the thing. So being the father of my gene pool he naturally pulled the plug on the bike and laid it on the head to check for spark, which it did indeed have and the bike suddenly fired up, not in the traditional way but in the way when kicked over a bike reeking of gas and set a live spark to it will fire up... I missed all the excitement , the futile efforts of throwing sand on the burning pyre of sport , the profanity and the facial expressions, National Geographic cover worthy facial expressions one can imagine. I road back only to find that the nitrogen shock had exploded and it was pretty cool but not worth the price of admission me da assured me. We drug our bikes home that Christmas the blackened carcass of the 360 among them and listened to the truckers and the hip crowd with CB's make comments
on the two bikes with the charred remains of something...My mom was a good sport , my da did not cry (at least in front of me) and for awhile ole Chuckles and myself had to share our bikes with Da.
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White Ladder
Price: $9.97
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21 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Wales in Eire, March 15, 2005
Buy the CD its first class and pays homage to Van Morrison so enough said and please stop reading if you dont trust my previous assessment. I visited Ireland in 1999 with my divorced buddies club and one not divorced nor married guy with his girlfriend. We rented two compact cars (six of us) and took off for hostels unknown. We ended up staying at a hostel near Mt. Erigal and climbed the mountain simply because it was there, plus it was not really technical so took little preparation other than finding a parking spot where we would not cause an accident. We left our one buddy back at base camp, he was to hung over to climb so he ended up renting a broken down horse and rode it around a lake infested with some sort of fly that bit first and asked questions later, the questions and answers were found in the pints of Bass or Guinness at the pub across from the hostel where we were staying. We made it up the mountain in a record time for us and took some photos, lounged around soaking up the view and then ambled back down to drive back to the hostel and sit on the back porch listing to the caretakers jam box, after several errands to the pub we had just enough pints to make ourselves artistically receptive. We noticed how cool the music was on the jam box and asked the caretaker who it was (the cassette was just a copy and bore no name) he said I think its David Gray he's from Wales, I wrote it down with the intent of finding a copy later. We had split up as a group and agreed to meet in a town whose name I cannot recall just south of Galway.On the way to our meeting our fly bitten buddy, lets call him Patrick grew bored since he was not allowed to drive, finished what beer was in the car and decided to climb out the rear window and into the sunroof. He did this a few times and the novelty wore off so he stripped naked and attempted it again, only this time he got his head stuck between the seat and the shifter, they were driving down the road with a nude man sticking out of the sunroof upside down. As fate would have it they drove through Galway and the Arts festival was going on and David Gray was playing that night, so they found us in the unknown town and we all went back to Galway and managed to find one room, no matter, we had beer. The concert was perfect and we all slept like the innocent children that we were. I woke up early and decided to find some food and a record store to buy a CD of his, my buddy lets call him Tom came along. We ate at a small restaurant across the street from a record store ate and then walked over and by gosh ole Mr. Gray and band were the in the "Flesh" to sigh CD's the line was to long with teeny boppers for a man of my dignity to stand so I just found a couple of CD's and was ready to leave and by this time the line had subsided , I had Dave and the band sign my CD's , nice guys great trip buy the CD we need more bands like this in the world, help feed them.
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Nostromo (Everyman's Library (Cloth))
by Joseph Conrad
Edition: Hardcover
Price: $15.00
Availability: In Stock

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24 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Eagle Ocean, Conrad takes to Terra Firma, March 1, 2005
Nostromo is one of Conrad's finest works and is also one of the few which is set upon land. It was published in 1904 and concerns primarily the corrupting influence of money or in this case silver. The novel is set in the fictional South American country of Costaguana. We learn of a local legend in the province of Sulaco about the disappearance of two thieving `gringos' who haunt the mountains due to their greed. We meet Charles Gould, who controls a silver mine and is trying to save it from the corrupt government. It is a time of political unrest and the dictator Ribiera flees. In this atmosphere, Gould becomes obsessed with saving the silver from the mine and emplys Decoud and Dr Monygham to aid him. They turn to Nostromo, a popular hero of sorts, who sails with the Decoud to hide the treasure but disaster strikes and they collide with an enemy boat. They arrive on an island and Decoud remains to protect it. However, he goes insane alone on the island and shoots himself before drowning, tied to a great quantity of silver. As the novel progresses we focus on Nostromo's unwise romance with his friend Viola's daughters. It contains very perceptive portraits of both heroes and anti-heroes and of the guilt that punishes the selfish, the greedy and the foolish. Many consider it to be Conrad's most important novel.
Not a walk in the park but, you will be happy you took the time to read.
It reminds me of the time I had my first sailboat I named it "Earls Pride" and me da bought me a fine looking mesh ball cap that said the same over the bill, I still have the hat and I do not think any amount of time will pass that will bring the hat back into fashion, its just plain ugly. Tacky and ugly and you will have to pull it off of my cold dead head if ever want to posses the...thing.
My friend Deemont called me one time and wanted to know if I would take his new girlfriend and himself sailing, I said yeah. So we met at Eagle Creek Reservoir and the wind was so strong that I judged it not safe for all of us to sail together for my craft was small, 13 ft. stem to stern. So we discussed the situation and Deemont laughed and told me how he met his new gal. The story goes she worked for a phone soliciting company and one of her employees called him and he used profanity and hung up on her, well her boss was appalled and call Deemont back to set him straight and well...he asked her out and that's how they met. I don't recall her name but I do know she was wearing Daisy Duke style shorts, she drew the long straw (turned out to be the short straw as fate would have it) and we went for a sail. I only raised the Jib sail since the winds were so severe, well we probably made it 100 yards from the docks, the wind shifted we turtled the "Earls Pride" (rolled it over mast down) well we gathered all our stuff and I coached her on the entire routine of righting a turtled sailboat, but then the wind would catch us and back over we would go. On and on this continued, occasionally we would right the craft and sail for a while (at which time I figured out from my keen powers of observation she had no underclothes under her daisy dukes) finally we just headed for shore drug the boat up on the beach where Deemont stood laughing.He had driven down to the next boat launch to find us, and helped us walk it along the shore back to the dock and later confessed to me that he was not so much concerned about our drowning but whether she was keeping her dukes in place and me the same. I don't know why especially since Nostromo took place on dry land but everytime I read this novel I think of this little adventure on Eagle Ocean.
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Last Exit to Brooklyn (An Evergreen Book)
by Hubert Selby
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.20
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22 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Time will tell..., February 26, 2005
Few books have aroused so much strong feeling as Last Exit to Brooklyn, with reactions ranging from the highest admiration, through horror, pity and disgust, to the blind fury of those who are opposed to the exposure of social evil. Its merits, challenged first by private and then by public prosecution, have been tested in the courts. Those who have spoken for it, both as an original work of modern fiction and as a true documentary account of life in a section of Brooklyn, leave us without a doubt that it is one of the most important books of the post-war period.

The characters who inhabit the book are unforgettable: Harry, the strike leader, who during his weeks of power discovers something of his true nature; Tralala, who rejects the only love she is offered and sinks swiftly to the lowest level of prostitution; Georgette, the 'hip queer' with pathetic aspirations to culture; Abraham, the 'cool ass' black stud, with his girls, his 'bigass' Cadillac, and his undernourished family; the debris of American civilisation, for whom the author ultimately makes us feel a profound compassion.

Last Exit to Brooklyn was found obscene at the Old Bailey in November 1967, a decision which was reversed by a historic Appeal Court judgement in July 1968. Now this 'honest and terrible book', as Anthony Burgess descrbes it in his Introduction to this new edition, can take its rightful place as one of the major books of our time.
A friend of mine gave me this book to read, you never really borrow books unless the lender threatens you that your life depends upon its return. I believe Mr. Selby first published this book in 1964 so its a little dated but for the time it was shere madness which even today you have to admire how much profanity can be fit into so few sentences. I enjoyed the book, it kinda makes ya feel dirty but, ya can always take a bath if ya want, unlike many of the characters.Read the book it stands the test of time, Mr. Selby does not understand the concept of built in obsolescence. It reminds me of the time when I lived in Lizton Indiana and my brother Charles Chadwick and our buddy big John, Roscoe and Joe, all gathered to watch Charles pogo stick over the creek behind our house.We had taken some scaffolding left over from our new home construction and laid it across the creek, it was about twelve inches wide and reinforced with 2 x 4's on each edge. 5/8" plywood and 2x 4 's...Charles as I recall had the most confused look on his face when he made it about two hops across the bridge and then fell about five feet into a gravel creek bed, a great look, I think he said "Wha happen"? He laid in the gravel, pogo stick still in position and at that moment I think he realized that not everything works out as planned.He lost interest in this stunt real fast, unlike you will in Huberts great Novel.
About this time we were reaching an age when my folks felt we were old enough to be left alone for short periods of time while they went to Air-Way and such, these opportunities we seized carpe diem style! Empty the two car garage and stage indoor short track races on our dirt bikes, sure we would leave tire tracks on the concrete, sure the nobby tire marks on the walls were tell tale signs of mischief but my folks where young and inexperienced and did not suspect that we would race motorcycles in a two car garage.We would put the garage back together and other than the lingering two stroke haze, and the above mentioned clues, none was the wiser. Best I can remember I always won these races because I was the superior rider. How we managed not to hit the water heater and tear it from the wall proves there is a divine being watching over us. Which also reminds me of how my da showed me the hot water release valve on the water heater for what reason I dont know, but I retained this knowledge. Unfortunately for Elmo and Myrtle our beagles I had just enough knowledge to cause them great pain. You see Elmo was a walk up dog who adopted us as was myrtle, the two quickly became lovers and engaged in Hubert Selby style liaisons as often as myrtle was in heat.They often became stuck and we all know the best way to separate two beast who are stuck is to throw cold or is it hot water on them? At the time I thought it was hot so one evening while my folks were at Air-Way our two beagles became stuck and were in obvious pain, one faced north the other south and like a compass in a tempest they changed directions in a passionate union. I went to the water heater and filled up a glass with water directly from the unit just like me da showed me and threw it on the two lovers, and contrary to my expectations the two just yelped like scalded wild animals. Eventually they separated on their own.They were fine no burns and such but shortly there after Mrytle took up with the neighbors German Shepherd and Elmo hit the road, never to be seen again. Kinda like a Hubert Selby character. I miss my dogs and I miss dominating the two door garage indoor short track circuit. Enough for now, read the book its dirty.
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by Kurt Vonnegut
Edition: Mass Market Paperback
Price: $7.99
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A firestorm of humor, February 17, 2005
The bombing of Dresden is what Slaughterhouse 5 is really about. The first chapter accounting for Vonnegut's own experience as a prisoner of war, who witnessed the bombing himself. He explains how this is a book about those events, how it is not a big book, because only so much can be said. A comment which is true, this is not a big book, just over 150 pages, but even with that Dresden remains a presence. Something inevitable and dark, which can't be shifted, and reflects throughout the real tragedy that is Billy Pilgrim's life. Even if he manages to shrug everything else off, we the reader are left with the effect of Vonnegut's story.Its funny too.
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Chasing Che: A Motorcycle Journey in Search of the Guevara Legend
by Patrick Symmes
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.20
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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Trail of Broken Icons, February 14, 2005

He's an icon and, like most icons, the legend of his life has overtaken the facts. In Bolivia, the site of his execution has become a tourist mecca. In college dorm rooms, his image (defiant gaze, beret adorned with a red star) remains a perennial favorite among wannabe revolutionaries,pop star Madonna has even copied his image. Sartre called him "the most complete human being of our age." Journalist Daniel Wolf, in a recent issue of England's Spectator magazine, labeled him "one of the most oversold figures of the past half century." Thirty-seven years after he was executed in Bolivia, Che Guevara lives - and then some. The man who helped Fidel Castro spearhead the Cuban revolution remains a potent and divisive figure, even though most North Americans today know him only as an image, an abstract radical.
Almost 50 years after Che's trip, author Patrick Symmes sets out on his 12 year old BMW to explore the legend and recreate the journey Che made (started...) on his '39 Norton.

The book is true to its title. The author is 'chasing Che', the REAL Che, rather than simply out for adventure on two wheels. Yet Patrick and his blue and orange R80G/S certainly have their share of 'moments', traveling 10,000km in four months through the demanding landscapes of the Americas.

He survives mad dogs, bad fuel, puncture and plug problems, bandits and the various 'authorities'. Wading through the Che 'industry' of T-shirts, fridge magnets, mud-flaps(?), beer, skis, et al, Patrick's connection with local people sheds light on the man behind the myth. This is where the story becomes engrossing. There's a memorable encounter with Che's original riding companion Alberto Granado and a rather large quantity of a certain beverage.

Did you know Alberto also kept a diary of the trip? He was already a committed marxist and his raw day-to-day account contrasts starkly with Che's more poetic and polished 'Notas de Viaje' (Notes of a trip). That the two men differ over several incidents makes for an intriguing read.

Patrick invokes the spirit of the original journey well, you feel you're right there with Che, searching for....what? Inspiration, adventure, a solution to the world's problems? You also feel close to the poverty, the social and government dysfunction, and the warm friendly welcome of the people along the road.
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A Confederacy of Dunces (Evergreen Book)
by John Kennedy Toole
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.20
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars HIstory repeats itself, BUY NOW!, February 14, 2005

A monument of sloth, rant and contempt, a behemoth of fat, flatulence and furious suspicion of anything modern - this is Ignatius J Reilly of New Orleans, noble crusader against a world of dunces. In magnificent revolt against the twentieth century, Ignatius propels his monstrous bulk among the flesh posts of the fallen city, documenting life on his Big Chief tablets as he goes, until his maroon-haired mother decrees that Ignatius must work.
First lines

A Confederacy of Dunces is a novel written by John Kennedy Toole, but not published during his lifetime. Through the efforts of the writer Walker Percy and Toole's mother, the book was published in 1980; it quickly became a cult classic and won a Pulitzer Prize a year later.

The title is a reference to a saying by the classic master of satire, Jonathan Swift: "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." (Thoughts on Various Subjects, Moral and Diverting)

The story is set in New Orleans, Louisiana at the start of the 1960s. The central character is Ignatius J. Reilly, an intelligent but slothful man still living with his mother in Uptown New Orleans who, because of family circumstances, must set out to get a job for the first time in his life at age thirty. In his quest for employment he has various adventures with colorful French Quarter characters.

Major characters

Ignatius J. Reilly

Ignatius is something of a modern Don Quixote - eccentric and creative, sometimes perhaps to the point of being delusional. He tries to find jobs requiring little or no work which will allow him at the same time to further his plans to somehow achieve greatness.

He disdains modern civilization, especially pop culture, but gets a perverse delight in immersing himself in order to mock its vapidity and express his outrage with its lack of philosophy and geometry. He prefers the enlightened philosophy of the Middle Ages, especially that of Boethius.

Myrna Minkoff

Myrna "The Minx" is a beatnik Jew from New York City whom Ignatius met while she was in college in New Orleans. Their political, social, religious, and personal orientations could hardly be more different, but Myrna and Ignatius have a fascination with each other. For most of the novel she is seen only in the regular correspondence which the two keep up since her return to New York. Officially, they both deplore everything the other stands for. Though probably neither of them would admit it, their correspondence indicates that, though separated by half a continent, many of their actions are done with hopes to impress the other.

Irene Reilly

Mrs. Reilly is Ignatius's long-widowed mother. She still thinks of Ignatius as an adolescent, encouraging him to think of himself that way. She is fond of drinking cheap wine and is generally tipsy.

FOr once these critics were spot on!

Published reviews

A masterwork of comedy ... A dozen characters bounce off each other, physically and verbally, through a plot of such disarming inventiveness that it seems to generate itself effortlessly ... A pungent work of slapstick, satire and intellectual incongruities ... it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.
The New York Times

Witty, exuberant and addictive, a mocking eulogy of life in New Orleans by a modern Rabelais.
The Times

If a book's price is measured against the laughs it provokes, A Confederacy of Dunces is the bargain of the year.

The hero of John Kennedy Toole's incomparable comic classic is one Ignatius J. Reilly, "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredible true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures." --
Henry Kisor in the Chicago Sun-Times

An astonishingly good novel, radiant with intelligence and artful high comedy.

A brilliant and evocative novel.
San Francisco Chronicle

A gem-one of the funniest books ever written.
New Republic
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How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
Edition: Mass Market Paperback
Price: $7.99
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12 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Say that smart thing you said again., February 12, 2005
Dale Carnegie wrote this incredible book almost seventy years ago. What he said still rings true today.

The secret of success is to enlist the willing help of others. You can't do it alone.

Dale Carnegie knew that. And he shows you how to attract and motivate others, with short truisms such as:

"give honest and sincere appreciation"
"show respect for the other person's opinion"
"talk in terms of the other person's interest"
"when you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically"

Simple? Yes. Corny? perhaps.

This seems familiar as if it had already been written, oh well I guess plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery, this is one heck of a good book and you should read it, then you might not be reading second rate book reviews, you would be out living large with the beautiful people.
You see Dale had a way with words, he could remember your name, which I insist at family gatherings my family wears name badges just to save the embarrassment of forgetting ones immediate relatives names, which reminds me of what I was thinking just the other day. Ok here goes all numbers have spellings, example 1 is spelled one, 2 is spelled two and so on but letters have no spelling which always leaves me feeling empty if I want to mention a certain letter to a friend in correspondence, for example:Dear Friend, I was thinking of the L the other day...Ok L? what does that mean? and should it not have a spelling, what has become of our beloved English language? How many letters can you spell? I thought so.Are we lazy English speakers? Why don't we all write someone and complain about needing a proper spelling for every letter of the alphabet other wise we are going to slowly slip into a degree of illiteracy that is just dang stupid. Perhaps one of you people who read this book at my urging come up with a diplomatic way to approach all people who use letters combined into words to come up with some sort of rational way to spell them, I am at a loss. Great book, read it but you will not find the proper spelling for one letter in it nor any book that I know of, get on the stick people before its to late!

Well, I was talking to my collaborator Roscoe and he has prodded me with his help to come up with a compressive guide to the proper spelling of the english alphabet.Stay tuned. Once we get over the hurdle of "A" we should be able to complete and have published within a certain amount of time.
Jonathan Williams
The correct spelling of our alphabet...First draft.
By Roscoe L and Jonathan W
Final edit by Jonathan W Roscoe L I am sure will have something to say about this...tough!
Ok I think I have "A" figured out its spelled "hay" except the "h" and "y" are silent.
"B" is "bee".
"C" is "seagh"
"D" is "Dee".
"E" is "see" but remember the "s" is silent.
"F" is "eaf" this may or may not make since I will leave that to the academics.
"G" is "ji". or goua (hard)
"H" is "ache". Confusing? But I am firm on this one.
"I" is "ahyee".
"J" is "jehyea".
"K" is "cay".
"L" is "el". As in diablo.
"M" is "em".
"N" is "en".
"O" is "oh". Easy enough.
"P" is "pee".
"Q" is "kyou". A little complicated but necessary, get out of the boat if you don't like letters.
"R" is "aar". Sounds like a pirate in a hurry.
"S" is "es". As in (Me alphabet "es" su alphabet).
"T" is "tee".
"U" is "you".
"V" is "vee".
"W" is "dubbahyou".
"X" is "eccs".
"Y" is "wyh".
"Z" is "zee".
I believe this is the first step in making the english language easier to understand, if we truly want to preserve our culture then we have to take steps to insure that history is written with letters from our alphabet and they need a spelling . Yes I understand we are going to need a lot more rules to the spelling of our letters so I am open to suggestions,I'm do not dot all my "ahyee's" I'm to busy thinking outside of the box, but please only constructive criticism we can not mire ourselves down with useless debates about progress and the hows and whys. Letters can no longer go on with out proper spellings, why half the world is laughing at us! Especially the illiterate!
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 27, 2006 3:47 PM PDT

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Nick Adams Stories
by Ernest Hemingway
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.40
Availability: In Stock

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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Bully!, January 28, 2005
I enjoyed the Nick Adams stories and have to give it a five star review. If you enjoy Hemingways writing then this is a must, one story "Big Two Hearted River" (which also has a very strong micro brew named after it and very cool art work on the label,I'd like to have the artwork not the label) when Nick went fishing and set his pack down and he looks back at the indentation his back had made reminds me...Better stop reading and buy the book I feel a spell coming on...It reminds me of an old army issue sleeping bag that we somehow ended up and there was no end to the tales of its wonders and virtues, but you dare not wash the thing or it would undermine the insulating qualities of the goose down insulation. Being a minor asthmatic I was quite harty despite being pitiful and week, I took this sleeping bag on a week long boy scouting camp out with my big buddy Big John. You see Big John drove to the meetings and I was 4 years his junior but he tolerated my company and I got to hang with the older kids. John was fifteen and had no license but this was the country so we didn't worry about such nonsense. Well by the second day I could hardly breath, I reckon my wheezing could have been heard for miles, so they called me to the scout masters office and asked me if I was sick and I said yes and they gave a knowing condescending smile to one another and drove me home. I was in bed with bronchitis for a week and finally recovered.The scout masters thought I was homesick,hence the condescending smirks. Later many years later I had allergy tests and mold and mildew really aggravate me, so if one puts 2 and 2 together they come up with the idea that sleeping in a filthy 30 year old sleeping bag might cause one with allergies some problems. Fortunately our dog Myrtle ( a beagle) gave birth on the sleeping bag and so it was then covered with afterbirth. I figured the thing was gone for good, we dared not wash it,I hated that bag and would want to wretch at the site of the pile of khaki green... I think my brother still has the thing still uses it believing in its amazing powers, heck the thing nearly kilt me and that's powerful in itself so I guess maybe it does have amazing powers, I know I will not tempt fate again. I quit scouts shortly after this since Big John quit and I was not about to have my mom drive me to those stupid meetings.Buy the Nick Adams stories, they have to be better than what you just suffered through.Perhaps you have to much time on your hands.

From BIg Two Hearted RIver:
Nick drank the coffee, the coffee according to Hopkins. The coffee was bitter Nick laughed. It made a good ending to the story. His mind was starting to work. He knew he could choke it because he was tired enough. He spilled the coffee out of the pot and shook the grounds loose into the fire. He lit a cigarette and went inside the tent. He took off his shoes and trousers, sitting on the blankets, rolled the shoes up inside the trousers for a pillow and got in between the blankets.

Out through the front of the tent he watched the glow of the fire when the night wind blew. It was a quiet night The swamp was perfectly quiet. Nick stretched under the blanket comfortably. A mosquito hummed close to his ear. Nick sat up and lit a match. The mosquito was on the canvas, over his head Nick moved the match quickly up to it. The mosquito made a satisfactory hiss in the flame. The match went out. Nick lay down again under the blanket. He turned on his side and shut his eyes. He was sleepy. He felt sleep coming. He curled up under the blanket and went to sleep.

In retrospect I suppose Nick was right in using blankets instead of a moldy old sleeping bag. One can learn from others experience.
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Gravity's Rainbow (Penguin Twentieth-Century Classics)
by Thomas Pynchon
Edition: Paperback
Price: $12.24
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23 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This earns one crushed scorpion, January 26, 2005
I first read this book when I took a long sabbatical from the University. I read the book mostly while I laid in bed with a large dictionary that smelled of turned pages since Mr. Pynchon's working vocabulary is really, really err...big. I refer to the scorpion because I read a interview with Edward Abbey and he mentioned reading this book while in a trailer in the desert, he was so absorbed that when a scorpion bit him on the ankle he simply squashed it and continued to read. Had it been me I would have squashed the scorpion and maybe not lied about the rest. I do recommend the book, a very challenging read so its not recommended for the faint of brain. Now I also recommend you stop reading this review because I feel another spell coming on, yep sure nuff. I don't know what it is about this book but it always reminds me of the time as a child I was at the car wash with my dad and my brother Charles Chadwick, Charles and myself were bored watching our dad wash the station wagon so we found something to distract ourselves (which usually consisted of my brother talking me into doing something stupid), the present story does not veer from this path. Being the younger brother and quite a tiny lad my brother (Charles Chadwick) convinced me that I could reach my skinny little arm up into the towel dispenser and extract some valuable paper towels for free, save my pop a quarter and we would all be winners.However I reached as far as I could and could find nothing and by the time I gave up my arm had swollen so much from all the blood pumping into my arm but the little slot had a devilish design that would not permit blood to flow back into my body, so to make a long story short my dad had to find the owner of the car wash who took a hack saw to his own towel for hire dispenser and extract my arm. I am forever grateful to that man and also my dad who for some reason was not mad, I reckon he recognized early on how innocent I really was and incidentally have remained to this day! I've also learned to pause and think whenever my brother suggests I do something heroic.I don't know why Gravity's Rainbow evokes these memories but it does, so maybe you should buy yourself a copy and remember something as fascinating as what I just related.
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Sweet Thursday (Twentieth-Century Classics)
by John Steinbeck
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.20
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20 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Godfather 2, January 20, 2005
I liked the sequel better than the original, a must read and I must advise you because I feel a fit coming on to stop reading after the three periods... Abandon all hope ye who continues to read...(three more periods, take note) I am reminded of me mum telling the story of how she had lost a gas cap to something and that she stuck a potato in the gas hole and fixed the problem. We all laughed at this story and to tell you the truth I knew that if I ever lost a gas cap the first thing I would do would riffle through the potato cabinet. As luck would have it I was riding my Yamaha 60cc Mini enduro and one day I noticed my gas cap was missing, I swear I did not pull this stunt on myself its just one of those be careful what you wish for things. Well my brother Charles Chadwick was keen on the idea of the potato solution and me not being very mechanical enlisted his help. We found a fine potato had to wittle it into a taper and then found it would not stay put when we raced so we took some duct tape and taped it over the gas hole and this worked until the potato shrank or I ran out of gas and had to untape my potato. Again fate came a knockin' and we found a gas cap that fit the bike but it was a little oversized so it looked like I had a pie pan on my gas tank, no problems it worked better than the potato. I need to call my mum and find out what sort of gas hole a potato works on, I'm just not ready to take this one out of my bag of tricks. Read Sweet Thursday , great read.
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Price: $13.98
Availability: In Stock

30 used & new from $7.99

18 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Jenny C Riley (sp), January 19, 2005
Its as good as you remember...Now you might read another five star review and get the straight dope.I have to admit it some of these people really know their stuff.It was the summer of 196? that my grandfather Oscar T purchased the Nancy Sinatra album and it may have been the only album he ever bought because this was the only album he ever played that summer and for the life of me I could not find an alternative, granted I did not look real hard .This I believe was the same summer Oscar T purchased an electric hedge trimmer with 2- 25' yellow extension cords. A typical day consisted of fishing in his pond, run errands and listen to Paul Harvey on the radio and then back home for a little "boots a walkin'" then chores. I would watch in fascination while he would trim the hedge, not much on TV back then.As fate would have it I inherited the hedge trimmers and extension cords, but not the album. The extension cords were yellow as I mentioned, I was doing laundry today I counted the repairs with black electrical tape where the cord had been damaged or severed by the hedge trimmers, I counted 7 which works out to one repair every 7.142857 etc. feet. I judged it safe nevertheless and trimmed my hedges for a couple of years with the same set up.Until,my neighbor came over and schooled me on the proper way to hold the trimmers so I "would not cut off my fingers", well I tried this and could never get used to the safe style and thus ended my hedge trimming efforts for a couple of years. Finally I realized the bushes were not going to trim themselves and so I decided the abandoned estate look was in, this worked for a while. Finally I tore out the bushes in the front of my house and replanted plants that required little maintenance. This left my side yard bushes, I was so afraid I would cut my fingers off, I went to Lowes and bought a nice pair of scissor style hedge trimmers, I happened upon a friend of mine at the store and he said "you know they sell electric trimmers" but I confessed to him I was afraid I'd cut a finger(s) off , he looked puzzled and I was to flustered to explain. I bought the scissor trimmers and was well pleased with their efficiency, but it was to late, my bushes where to far gone so I sought professional help and he suggested I tear the bush's out and replace with low maintenance plants, I liked his way of thinking,so it was done. I still have the electric trimmer and cord just for nostalgia, and if anyone is looking for a fair deal on scissor style hedge trimmers contact me and we can discuss the particulars. Buy the album its good stuff.
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A Good Man Is Hard to Find and Other Stories
by Flannery O'Connor
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.40
Availability: In Stock

154 used & new from $0.94

18 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I seen the dummy!, January 19, 2005
I recommend reading Linda Linguvic's review, she is dead right. Reading Ms. O'Connor stories is time well invested, and I agree one at a time is about all you can to digest, its like Harper Lee meets Edger Allan Poe. I always find myself in surreal situations that remind me of a Flannery O'Conner story...STOP READING AT THIS POINT AND GO TO LINDAS REVIEW...You see I am in a witness protection program and the only way I can communicate with my family is through Amazon...sad but false.Which reminds me of when I was a kid visiting my grand parents and favorite uncle in North Carolina (we stayed with them every summer until they told my folks to stop). My mom, grandparents,uncle and brother went a visitin' some obscure relatives in a town that seemed to make my grandfather grumpy, reckon that would have been any town USA. However this particular town was near another particular town that held something of interest, the spaghetti man, or as my grandfather called him the dummy. They called him the spaghetti man because he was Italian, he had worked for a circus and happened to die in the nearby town I mentioned, back in the early 20th century is my guess. The manager of the circus only gave the local funeral director a deposit for the burial with the promise of returning with final payment, which never came. So the Spaghetti man/mummy/dummy remained in his freezer for years. The son inherited the business as well as the dummy as I will refer to him from this sentence on until the end of my review. Well back in the 60's my brother, uncle and to a lesser degree myself badgered my grandfather enough that he agreed to leave the family gathering to go find the dummy. He found the town just fine it being on the map and all, but had to ask directions to find the dummy "where's the dummy"? after several blind alleys we found the funeral home and in the garage the owner took us for a small fee to the garage, he opened the freezer and there in the flesh was a shrunken up freezer burnt dummy! One of those moments you never forget, a certain smell might take you back or a foreign accent, but you dont forget those memory's by god! cause that's what life's made of, memories and things like that, eating too. Years later in the year 2000 I visited my folks in NC and in honor of the dummy I went to Target and purchased a white T shirt a couple of sizes to big and a black marker. I laid the T-shirt on my kitchen table and scrawled "I seen the dummy" across the front and into the armpit. The next day I showered,shaved and put on my new shirt, drove to the airport early , requested exit row (I'm above average in height you know) and flew to Charlotte. I then boarded a commuter plane to New Bern and the flight attendant asked me what my shirt said and I told her "I seen the dummy" ...Even though I was in the front row and she had to sit in the jump seat in front of me she was sort of cool and impersonal the rest of the flight, people you figure them out? If you like reading, buy Flannery O'Conner its not a walk in the park but you aint no dummy now are you?
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by Joseph Heller
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.88
Availability: In Stock

201 used & new from $2.99

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Catch 18, January 17, 2005

> AS I recall the editor of this book changed the title from Catch 18 to Catch 22. I think the editor was right a much Catch-ier title. If you have not read this book take my advice, read the book, read the other reviews with the 5 star ratings and take their advise, I'm really to tired to review this book properly but not so tired as to recognize the wisdom of some of my fellow five star'er'ers.STOP READING! just read the book Joseph Heller I aint!... I havnt been this tired since I was a young man of eleven, my brother Charles Chadwick and I had a good friend nicknamed Big John who set up a waste basket on the ground floor of our families unfinished cottage and he decided to play Dresden. He climbed upstairs where my dad kept all his old playboy magazines, dropped his boxers and dropped a few biscuits in warning (as the allies did in WW2) and then zeroed in on the basket. We all ran for the woods and hid until dusk and then snuck around to the house avoiding Big John because we were afraid of being caught and becoming forced labor in the cleanup in Big Johns reenactment of the Dresden bombing. Even as kids we understood the importance of learning from history...Speaking of history I had a good conversation with Big Johns younger brother Roscoe about the Dresdan story and he remembered hearing about about it but was not present, he mentioned that knowing his brother as he does (as a brother) that it all made perfect sense. He related to me a story about when Big John and Big Joe (Big Joe is Roscoes twin,he was younger than Big John as well, in addition he was not as big as Big John despite the fact that he was big) would play a game with a rubber ball when the folks were out of the house, kind of like basketball except the object was to throw the ball in the toilet, the looser had to fish the ball out. However as Roscoe explained and what ads credence to my Dresdan story is that Big John would always make Big Joe fish the ball out no matter who made the basket...Off the subject abit but I cant help myself, my friend Roscoe is a self-made millionaire, he had the idea a few years ago to convert old washing machines into dog houses and made a fortune, he cashed out and travels the states with his girl friend Lora lee lee and his monkey Tater.
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Napoleon Dynamite
DVD ~ Jon Heder
Price: $14.99
Availability: In Stock

124 used & new from $4.75

7 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Respect I dont need no stinkin respect!, January 16, 2005
First of all everyone who gave this five stars where correct, I am just putting in my two cents, I concur...You can stop reading now... The only bitter feelings this movie has provoked is the fact that my sister Cait did not buy me the DVD for Christmas! The same girl I raised, pretty much single handed! I sang Don McClain (sp) songs to her while I changed her fouled diapers,put warm water on her meat gravey flavored chow(softens the nuggets) and routinely fished her out of the mud hole we rode our dirt bikes through, heck I'm the one who put the carp in there so she would have someone to play with. If you did continue to read when I suggested you stop understand this is all based on fact. Including this gem,Elvis Costello in the 1980s declared that he would no longer be known as Elvis Costello, but instead as Napoleon Dynamite, under which name he released what may have been his last great album, BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE.In addition to this gem, I copied this fact from a better reviewer than myself. If you click the button below that indicates that this review proved helpful, I just might send you a dollar. Remember not to judge a person untill you have walked a mile in their shoes, then you can cast all sorts of stones and you also have a new pair of shoes.
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West with the Night
by Beryl Markham
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.20
Availability: In Stock

646 used & new from $0.01

25 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars No prose poser., January 16, 2005
To paraphrase a quote from a letter Earnest Hemingway wrote to a friend about this book..."she has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...she can write rings around all of us...I wish you would get it and read it because it is really a bloody wonderful book"...He went on to say he heard she was a do I say? A real female dog, but then some speculate Papa's advances were rebuffed so he did not like her personally.
I first read the book years ago and thought it was one of the best I have read. Years later I had an oppurtunity to travel to Kenya on a Motorcycle Safari with my brother Charlie Williams, he was to write a story for Trail Rider Magazine and I was to take the photos, I just found the story again on the TrailRider web site its one of them dot com sites.I suggested to my brother to read the book before our trip and I reread and was delighted to find we were going to travel through the same country she lived and wrote. She wrote so well about flying reminding me of our off road adventures in Kenya where you are often cruising miles of empty dirt roads solo, Hemingway was dead on, that girl sure could write good! Reading about the Lions of Tsavo however gave a little more edge to the trip, I reminded my brother that his snoring mimicked perfectly a Lioness in heat, he did not relent. I dunno read the book, and if you go to Kenya go on a offroad motorcycle otherwise you are going to be beaten senseless in the back of a dusty range rover, tenderised just right for a maneless lion to eat ya up like a White Castle hamburger, hold the mayo.
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Sackcloth 'n' Ashes
Price: $12.98
Availability: In Stock

58 used & new from $4.99

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Bandoneon?, January 16, 2005
I think I'd have to look up the spelling which I wont since this is a music review and not a written' review. Anyway a Band0neon is like an accordian but different in ways I dont understand, they feature this instument on a number of cuts with very haunting results.The lyrics are haunting as well, its a Flannery O'Connor mood crossed with all the greats of bluegrass ghosts, it creates a unique sound you would be a fool not to enjoy. It reminds me of the times as a child we visited old man Ritz's house deep in the woods behind our house, Mr. Ritz worked for Nasa and seldom visited his family farm getaway, so we ran amok on his property,never at ease mind you, but amok we ran. He was a scary figure who we never met and never expected to meet until one day I landed a job picking up rocks in a freshly plowed field, we would ride on a trailer behind a tractor and every so often the tractor would stop and we would hop off and pick up the rocks and throw them on the trailer. I suggested to Uncle Leon (the farmer who farmed Mr Ritz's property for him) that we just paint all the rocks red and have the migrant workers pick them up thinking they were tomatoes, he didnt think to much of this suggestion so we continued with our work. The next day we were picken' up rocks when a man walks up to Leon and told him we should paint the rocks red and tell the migrant workers they was tomatoes...This album reminds me of my first and only meeting with old man Ritz.Buy the album.
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The Lord of the Rings
by J.R.R. Tolkien
Edition: Hardcover
Price: $48.00
Availability: In Stock

30 used & new from $40.65

6 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Need I say more, January 7, 2005
First read this when I was but a wee lad, great books a must read, why it reminds me of when I was a wee wee lad and my brother Charles Chadwick told me that he thought Smedley (a bona fide little person who live up the road from us) had some firecrackers and maybe we should pay him a visit and maybe get to light some off! Well we hopped on the tractor and drove down to his house,farm country if you must know.We saw him from a distance shooting hoops on his makeshift gravel court we drove up and he of course had a puzzled look on his face since we had never visited him before, we just rode the same school bus. Well as an ice breaker we played a game of horse, he won. Then he challenged us to a game, which hardly seemed fair since he was a little person like the Dwarf in "Lord of The Rings" , we took him up on it and were soundly trounced, he had an amazing hook shot. Well my brother Charles Chadwick decided to broach the subject of firecrackers and Smedley didn't know what he was talking about, we followed him around abit and he showed us a 5 gallon bucket of grease for the tractors, we had never seen such a quantity of grease in our lives, pretty cool. As we were looking at the grease my brother Charles Chadwick told Smedley that he had dropped a quarter in the grease and he could have it if he dug it out, without hesitation Smedley reached elbow deep into the grease and then my brother Charles Chadwick laughed and said he didn't really, we all laughed, some more than others and thats about all I remember about that visit. But I digress, Lord of the Rings all the way! I found the Silmarillion a little difficult but you cant go wrong with the trilogy.
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The Man Who Invented Florida (A Doc Ford Novel)
by Randy Wayne White
Edition: Paperback
Price: $7.99
Availability: In Stock

56 used & new from $3.00

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Mr. White to you, January 7, 2005
Another Doc Ford Classic with Uncle Tucker to aggravate the good Dr. It reminds me of when I read an article in outside magazine around 20 years ago and I believe it was written by Randy I'm not sure, but it was about the obscure sport of "Ferret Legging" which is localized in small pubs in Northern England. Remember the Hemingway quote "There are only two sports, Bullfighting and Motor racing the rest are just games" I think Papa would agree that Ferret legging should be included in the Sport category.
Heres how its done (if memory serves) the participant is not allowed to be drunk or on drugs, he/she? is required to wear white baggy trousers with out underthings. They tie the pants at the cuffs and drop two ferrets down the front of sportsman's pants, he then cinch's his pants closed and then they time how long he can keep the ferrets in his trousers before giving into their clawing and biting, the white pants show blood well, a real crowd pleaser.
Well as I recall the record was below a minute for years until this old man came in and dropped the duo down his pants and stood there for over eight hours, the crowd grew bored and left otherwise he could have endured it longer. Apparently this gentleman would hunt with ferrets and this is how he transported them, he admitted that they really scratched and clawed him, why one time one latched onto one of his jewels and it swelled to the size of a coffee can!
I hope Randy wrote this story I lost the magazine years ago and quit subscribing when he and David Quamen dropped their columns.
As for the book anything he writes is worth the time ,buy it!
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The Compact Edition of The Oxford English Dictionary, Complete Text Reproduced Micrographically (in slipcase with reading glass)
by E. S. C. Weiner
Edition: Hardcover
Availability: Currently unavailable

3 used & new from $400.00

21 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Professor and the Madman OED, January 7, 2005
I like the book because it comes with a really cool magnifying glass to read the tiny words,I purchased a supplemental magnifying glass to make the words even larger! My only suggestion would be that they print the book large enough to not require a magnifying glass perhaps 6' square? Sure it might be cumbersome but you would not need the magnifying glass, nevertheless I would still want the magnifying glass because its pretty cool on its own.
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A Different Shore
Availability: Currently unavailable

11 used & new from $7.94

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars From a ticket in my pocket to a different shore., January 4, 2005
Years ago I went to a Windham Hill Concert around Christmas time. I was especially taken with Night Noise and after recently rooting through my pockets before going to Goodwill I found the ticket stub to this concert, I kept the ticket and forwarded the sport coat to a good cause. I found my Different Shore CD and was impressed on how well it stood up to the test of time. I printed the cover of the CD and hung it on my fridge so as not to forget this band and the memories it evokes, not only of the music but my trip to Eire. Great music for all time.
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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sailing, help needed for tips on sailing.

I have more than one alias, one of them being Bailer. I write a small note every month to remind our members about being honest and stuff. I ask for help, this is a few days before deadline and please if you have any ideas to make the post better or make me appear smart, offer the adivce. Humility is one of my strong points.I am not kidding , deadline snuck up on me and I am not even sure I added enough puctuation. Not that this has stopped me in the past.Suggestions? I am open, it is for the good of the club, a selfless act. We are good people so if you offer advice, understand there will be no monetary reward. This is all I have to say, until deadline. My Best and Happy Holidays. JW

Jan 08 Bailers Tips

What to do during the deep of winter? I have learned from experience that it is not a good time to be a live aboard and also not a good time to reread Jack London’s “White Fang” …The club is quite and the wolves are hungry.
I’ve been dabbling with earth friendly inventions. One of which has turned out pretty good so far; it is a fiberglass-burning stove. Heat is a must if you live aboard a boat on Eagle Ocean during the dark cold winter, so I had the friendly harbor master point out a few boats that had caused trouble throughout the year, trouble like making fun of me for one but in addition well never mind, making fun of me pretty much tops the list. So if you visit the club and your boat is partially missing, keep in mind that it is a lesson to you to treat others, as you would like to be treated. Take pride that your boat is part of a grand experiment in how to burn fiberglass as an alternative fuel.
I walk the docks like it is a ghost marina, I gather my fuel and I work on my stove. I have discovered that if you put your sails up while tied to a dock the energy can be harnessed and compressed, forcing oxygen into your fiberglass furnace. The use of old linens, socks, tighty whiteys etc are a great pollution filter. I am seeking a reasonable means of disposing of these filters. They were a danger to begin with but are a further danger after having 26 feet of fiberglass filtered through them. My project is not perfect, but I always have next year to work on the problem. So follow some guidelines and your boat shall be safe from the pursuit of knowledge.

1: Watch the ice on the ramp, it is as slick as ice.
2: Pay your dues on time or you will be paying your dues in dry dock.
3: Thank the members who help, thank the commodore, the harbormaster every board member, thank everyone for our club. Always remember a thankless job gains the reputation of not being important.
4: Say hey to all your sailing kin, because a rude sailor rates just below a rusty old turd.
5: Read Telltales it will help keep you out of trouble.
6: Remember the chair parties, bring a chair, it is time to live while we can and laugh with our friends. Chair parties are hip again, they were out of style for a couple of years but now is the time to seize the day and bond with you friends.
7: Make friends at our club, what a great idea, sailing and talking about sailing, relaxing in your state of the art portable comfy chair, bond with your friends old and new, this is not a tip it is sound advice.

Sail on Sail on


Saturday, December 15, 2007

Last Man Standing

Trail Rider Magazine just restored their web site which I stole the photo from. The event was "Last Man Standing" as I commented if the race was "First Man Whining" I could be a contender! Give her a look, sign up make an observation, it don't cost nuthin'.

Friday, December 14, 2007

It's a Dawg Eat Dawg World

I've come up with a recipe for chili that I think sounds good. I'm looking for volunteers to make the first batch.

Brown 1# of Ground Beef do not drain grease, add 1# brown sugar and some Red Hot...Enjoy.

As for the Snake and the Cow, I dunno I thought it was kinda scary, the photo is from Australia, which is near Canada a Canadian once told me years ago.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Art of Photography

Saturday, December 08, 2007

My Job May be Lost

I write the tips column for my sailing club. I really am not very knowledgeable when it comes to the sea and such but I do love the sea so it goes.This was my last post and I fear it could be my last because I really do not offer tips, I just ramble. I love to ramble at the expense of my job I will risk rambling.

Bailors Tips:
I had called in a favor from the ghost of Captain Teach aka Black beard, he knocked on the door of the mens room my temporary quarters since Black Sam stole the Queen Anne’s Revenge. We laughed shook hands, head butted and then wandered out and sat down in the shelter house. I poured him a tall rum, I waited then after a few long draws on his mug I told him we needed to rid our club of these pesky pirates and to reclaim our ship the Queen Anne’s Revenge. He was hip to this idea, other than the part of it being our ship, he boasted he stole it fair and square and I was just his little cabin boy taking care of his Ship. I told him his ship had long been under the Atlantic waves and the boat I refereed to was a replica with upgrades. I assured him I had built it with the same very pinchers that hunt and peck out this tale; he was quite, almost as if he understood.
After I had refilled his mug several times he stood straight and tall, around 6’7” tall in pirate boots, he put one hand on his cutlass raised his mug and declared “ where lies the QAR2? (Queen Anne’s Revenge 2) I pointed to the bobbing light in Crappie Cove and he said “you got any Inviso Spray 5,000”? I said no but I think ACE carry’s it, so off we went and bought all they had in stock. If you are not familiar with Inviso Spray 5,000 listen up it is one heck of a product. What it does and don’t ask me how but if you spray it on something, say anything, the object becomes invisible to the naked eye. Case in fact, so invisible that a few years ago the company had a huge ad campaign under way, they covered all their inventory with Inviso Spray 5,000 to show how effective it was, a senior vice president of the company panicked and called the police the next day and told them the entire warehouse had been robbed. The police investigated and after a few days realized that the warehouse had not been robbed but the product was invisible. The advertising firm was promptly fired and they had to spray the entire the warehouse with primer so they could find their product to relabel, insurance did not cover any of the expense’s something about an “act of moron” clause.
I asked captain Tatch (teach aka Black Beard) what we were going to do with all these cans of Inviso Spray 5,000? He turned to me and laughed and drove straight into the gin pole, which pretty much totaled my Country Squire. Note to self, pirates can navigate a sailboat around the most complex coral reef formations. However this does not qualify them to drive a car… Another lesson learned, I am becoming so wise I can hardly wait to become wiser, or do I dread the wisdom just waiting around the corner to jump me like a pirate on merchant ship.
I ask Teach why did we need Inviso Spray 5,000, he explained that he was disgusted with all these pirates lurking and it was he was just trying to help rid of us of the problem so he could head back to Bath NC to check on his buried treasure. I then asked him again, why we needed all this Inviso Spray 5,000 and he laughed then had a coughing fit and then fell asleep. Black Beard is feared throughout the ages but I think his snoring has caused more damaged than all his piracy. I quickly grabbed a stick and poked him in the ribs to wake him up; I asked him what his plan was? He said simple, you will row out to the QAR2 and git yerself caught real good by the pirates. You will fight back but then give in and tell them Capin’ Tatch will soon be on their trail cause he and I were best of buds, then when they torture me to find out where his treasure is buried, I should let them torture me for dramatic affect, he suggested I let it go on and on and after awhile I will then act like its is to much and tell them its in the Dry Tortugas, but there is a map somewhere in Key West, that is all I know, and then I am to pass out .
I was not sold on this plan but followed through and it worked like a charm, and if you ever want to know what if a thumbscrew hurts, yes it does. The next morning all the Queen Anne’s Revenge was empty and none other than my long lost cousin Tailer shook me awake. He told me the whole lot of pirates had set off for Key West searching for the map to Black Beards treasure, he explained he was just trying to keep them at bay and apologized for gunnel hauling me and stealing my boat…. Not five minutes later a boat tied up to the QAR2 and on climbed Black Beard. He laughed and laughed, those damn fool pirates fell for it, It was a risky plan but by my first love the sea it worked. He continued thanks Bailer and Tailer I could not have done it without you, years and years this has been going on and now I can finally go to a undisclosed location and check on my treasure. I lifted my head off the rum sodden deck and said Bath? Teach glared at me and said “who put that fool idea in your head” and then all went black, I think right after he hit me with an oar. When I woke up I was on the back deck and Teach was at the helm Tailer standing beside him smoking a pipe. I again raised my head and asked Captain Teach why did we need all the Inviso Spray 5,000 he replied, “where’s your sense of fun boy” and asked Tailer for the oar and then everything went black. I woke again, and raised my entire body from the deck made sure I was an oars length away from Teach and asked him for some tips, he smiled and said tips? I have some tips for ya.

1: When ever I try to rally my crew I steal a bit of Shakespeare’s St. Crispens Day Speech I tailor it a bit for each situation but it always works like a charm. My favorite bit goes something like this We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

2: Check on your boat when it’s in harbor or on trailer, and if you see another sailor with problems let em know.

3. Spraying down your cooler with Inviso Spray 5,000 will save you a king’s ransom in cool drinks.

4. Take care of all your boat chores that can be done ashore during the coming winter darkness at least stuff that can be done beside the fire.

5. Hook up with some of the hearty souls who brave the winter to sail, heck even in Feb we have at least one day that is 60 degrees, or so I am told.

6. Although I be a pirate I will not forget a fellow sailor, ye all be my friends, even Bailer.