Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Eat Not to Dullness Drink Not on an Empty Stomach

Why not drink on an empty stomach? Because of the risk of irritable bowel syndrome! No shit. Heed this advice for the love of all that you dont wish to soil!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Sweet Beer

I am really stoked for Memorial day! Beer , pee, beer , pee ,beeeer , peeeee, beeer, peeeee and repeat.

Hey those in the know. I was talking to my folks and they said that Kevin Costner had been poking around there town Beaufort NC looking for locations for his next project on Blackbeard the Pirate, rumors have it that Sean Connery is slated to play ole Captain teach himself! I really want to know so I can tell my folks and they will think I'm smart and shit also I feel certain I could get some sort of heroic part in the project. Maybe even snatch the lead from Sean and become one of those movies stars!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I Don't Give Two Shits For Quatrains

A government subsidized, low income apartment building I am constructing on the cheap. Yes I do care...JWW

Nostradamus as far as I am concerned is over rated and his predictions are open to all forms of interpretations, which opens up the imagination to whatever one want’s to see in one of his quatrains.
I am not a fan of quatrains, I think they are poppy cock or as we say in Mid America a "buncha shit".
When I was but a wee little boy of around eleven we were living in the country surrounded by farmland. On this land we had a small motorcycle track and hells 9 acres to mow. Our neighbors had about the same set up and some kids of there own.
Seeing as we were now country folk we were fiercely independent, we never and I mean never let the revenuer’s get the best of us, under any conditions.
One week I was given the responsibility to feed the neighbors two German Shepherds while they went on some sort of frivolous vacation. The problem was that I had to hike over to their house find the key that was hidden and let my self in the garage to find the food so the dogs could be fed. The dogs being German Shepherds where mean and vicious and would not let me near anything, so I went home and told me da about my plight and he laughed and explained they were very tame and just not to be afraid and I would be fine…So goes the long walk back to the Wilkens house and the dogs from hell. They never really drew blood but they did offer chase everytime I ran from them. A week of terror but I learned something from this, dogs will bite the hand that feeds them and sometimes being scared shitless is not that fun but sharpens the memory.


Monday, May 22, 2006

Avian Flu Suspected in Florida Trailer Park

This could be it, the poor flamingos could be telling us the Avian Flu is here. I just hope they are taking a nap. Crack Reporter JW

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Its all Good

So it is my thought that if you do not let the "G" Men know where I am living I cannot be hurt. Lets keep my location a secret. I think I wrote a book review that really, really pissed off someone. But I am OK, tell my family ! Ah piss on the G men they aren't worth the salt in my urine. Spread the news I am alive and well living in arggghhhh! ....Jonathan is fine he would want you to know. G Men

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Meaning of Life

It has been my experience that everyone want's to know where I live. So I am forced to show you where I leave my electronic devices and dopplegangers. Myself on the other hand am on the move constantly without a real home other than an the occasional freedom pillow (beer and a boat) or the Life Dream ( beer, boat, woman, FY$ and the ability to keep my shit together) other than that the NSA thanks to your entreaties now knows where I keep my traceable devices. The NSA also hates the fact that I am not real good at editing and shit. Peace Trails JW

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Trailrider.com and stuff

This is the third incarnation of this post this time I am just posting a picture to clearly illustrate to you that I am looking for input and I'm all ears. I promise not to give you any lip. 5/10/05
Due popular demand I am just posting the link so as to keep the mob at bay.

Why post a link when you can post the entire home page, or at least this is my effort. This is a brand spanking new web site I will take major credit for anything that makes me look good on the site and will credit "Mom!Toliets blogged" for anything that could be deemed dreadful. I ask ya your thoughts constructive criticism or praise. Ok, I did not the design site or content but I am hoping to garner some ideas from my friends who have suffered through my blog blunders.
I ask because I have difficulty looking at the site with an objective eye, it is to familiar and such. A good friend of mine put the site together for a good friend of mine and his and such. It even has Roscoe posting! (Hell he wont even post on his own site) So I think we are on to something, if someone would tell me what it is that would be cool.


Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Feliz Cinco De Mayo!

I decided on this fine Tres De Mayo morning to post my Cinco De Mayo post on Tres De Mayo so as to get a jump start on the celebration. What I have pictured here is a good buddy of mine who happens to be a Chupa Cabre. About a year ago I found this dude covered with blood, emaciated and shaking uncontrollably at my doorstep. Turns out he ran into Crystal Meth heads and became addicted to their blood lost control which is common with meth. Next he ran out of meth heads to Chupa their blood which in turn brought about his ending up at my door step, he said word on the street was "I good people". I opened my doors to the wretched little creature and within weeks he was back to himself , he worked around my garden took care of my rodent problem now works up the street at a gourmet pizza restaurant while surviving/thriving on beverages (Power Goat Plus is his favorite) I purchase at the local stock yards. I call my buddy Fred but his Christian name is Yolanda.
Happy Cinco De Mayo!