Friday, June 24, 2005

I got all the f@#$%*g work I need

Thursday morning 4 AM I had to get out of bed and wander around my house to find the source of the music that was keeping me awake. It was 4AM so it was unlikely any of the local clubs, and being a Wed night/Thursday morning unlikely that any neighbors would be playing the blues loud enough to penetrate my closed windows. I discovered my CD player had snapped to life, for no apparent reason. It was playing one of My Favorite Dan Reeder songs " I got all the f#$%&*g work I need" at a low civilized volume but was a little unnerving since I had not turned it on, yes the CD player and receiver had been left on for several days but…I have thought long and hard about this and the only explanation I can come up with is ghosts! This is the third such occurrence in so many years and so when I tell you I have been doing some serious head thinkin’, its true.
I have come to the conclusion my ghosts are not only benign but festive and I like the fact that they seem to like the same music I like. If anyone has another explanation for this phenomena please explain but until then my house is haunted by some pretty happy go lucky ghosts!

" I got all the f@#$%^g work I need"

" I got allll all the f@#$%^g work I need"

" I got all I got alll all the f@#$%^g work I need"

" I got all all the f@#$%^g work I need"

Repeat chorus several times…

Also what do you all think would be a fair nominal fee to visit a bona fide haunted house?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Every vote counts!

Vote For Pedro

Monday, June 20, 2005

My First Motorcycle was a Mule

First published in Trail Rider Magazine

Published for the first time in its unedited form to celebrate
the 19day anniversary of My Mule.

A long time ago I started riding dirt bikes, a long,
long time, yet like most exciting events I am left
with vivid memories, better and more accurate than
what I had for breakfast this morning.I am reminded of
me mum telling the story of how she had lost a gas cap
to something? her car? a lawn mower? Something in the
internal combustion family. Her being a college
educated woman she stuck a potato in the gas hole and
fixed the problem. We all laughed at this story and to
tell you the truth I knew that if I ever lost a gas
cap the first thing I would do would be to riffle
through the potato cabinet for such a elegant
solution. As luck would have it I was riding my Yamaha
60cc Mini enduro and one day I noticed my gas cap was
missing, I swear I did not pull this stunt on myself
its just one of those be careful what you wish for
things. Well my brother Charles Chadwick was keen on
the idea of the potato solution and me not being very
mechanically inclined enlisted his help. We found a
fine potato but had to whittle it into a taper to fit
the hole proper, I found it would not stay put when we
raced so we took some duct tape and taped it over the
gas hole and this worked until the potato shrank or I
ran out of gas and had to un-tape my potato. Again
fate came a knockin' and we found a gas cap that fit
the bike but it was a little over sized so it looked
like I had a pot pie pan on my gas tank, no problems
it worked better than the potato. I need to call my
mum and find out what sort of gas hole a potato works
on, I'm just not ready to take this one out of my bag
of tricks.
This was back in the late sixties early seventies
when motocross was in its infancy and Evil Knievel was
the image of motorcycling. I moved to a town called
Lizton in Indiana and lived on 9 acres of land, my
folks,brother and eventually my sister (first girl of
European decent born on the Beagly dump Road) joined
me which was pretty cool since I was only seven and
had no real education or trade I could support myself
with so my folks house and money came in handy. At the
time of the move me Da bought me a Sears mini bike,
basically a lawn mower engine bolted into a rigid
frame, later I grew into the 60cc mini enduro and that
was when things really began to gel. My brother
Charles Chadwick and myself quickly befriended all the
other kids nearby that had dirt bikes and spent most
of our free time laying out in our back field a state
of the art moto cross course, we had access to two
Ford tractors both with grader boxes and disks and
other homemade trail groomers and soon had a motocross
course and a respectable oval flat track. We had about
three other neighbors who had natural terrain courses
set up, some trail, some European style motocross.
This was pre "Pong " technology so we made our own
fun. Sometime during all this my dad traded a guy he
found in a newspaper ad his 25 caliber pistol for a
1955 Packard, they guys wife protested claiming her
husband was just going to shoot himself and not to
trade him, but the car was pretty sweet so spit and a
handshake and the deal was done. My dad proclaimed it
was my car and gave me the keys, I was around 11 and
was pretty proud to be have given the responsibility
of owning a car. Seems my ownership also meant he
could drive the thing? Anyway one day my brother and
our friends and fellow moto freaks the Leak boys
decided it would be fun to drive the old Packard
around our track, when my turn finally arrived I hit a
wide sweeper at such momentum that the battery came
loose and tumbled across the engine block, the car
stopped dead in its tracks mid slide. Being more
mechanically minded than myself I let my brother and
Big John tow my car off the track to work on, they
could not get it running so naturally they removed the
hood and pulled it behind the tractor as a sled. For
some reason my dad seemed a little perturbed, he
apparently was not as impressed by our resourcefulness
as we were, as winter set in he grumbled even more as
the bare engine sat open to the winter elements and we
whooped and hollered riding around on the Packard hood
behind the tractor, the snow was the best for land
sledding. He got over it eventually and I forgive him
his pouting.
I remember when my Da had a guy that did dirt work
for him bring his bulldozer out one weekend to help
build some jumps on our Moto-Cross course. I also
remember thinking a few years ago he probably lied
about the guy doing it for a six pack, I don’t think
you can run a bulldozer for two days for a six pack, I
think he made this story up just to appease me Ma.
Two days of bulldozer work cost more than he probably
wanted to admit so he did what was necessary, he just
outright lied. As the old saying goes you should only
lie to two people your boss and your wife,
unfortunately I’m my own boss and I’m not married so I
suffer an emptiness that could only be fulfilled by
having someone I could honestly lie to. This
bulldozer guy built some nice jumps and a mighty fine
mud/water hole for us to jump over. We caught a carp
and put it in the mud/water hole. We think the thing
died.I remember my sis Cait was awful fond of that
pond, and still to this day maintains that we jumped
over her on our bikes while she was playing in the
pond.(She likes to call it a pond and I don’t blame
her I’d hate to tell people that I used to play in a
mud hole with a dead carp) We found an old bathtub and
built a wooden ramp out of about 4 -2’ x 6"s nailed
side by side and propped up against the empty tub, we
used it to jump the mud hole, good fun was had by all,
even my sister (who was never in any danger).
I reckon I was a pretty talented rider since I
could beat around 75 to 80% of our neighbors racing so
I got serious and went to my first sanctioned race in
Red Springs North Carolina, there were three people in
my class and I finished 2nd. Not to bad if you think
about it right, my brother I cant remember how he did
but he did win the jumping contest, I think he won
around $25.00 , however he doesn’t brag about this
much since after the race we watched some kid on a
bicycle out jump his best effort. Back home in Indy I
was on a roll so being my da was heavy into flat
tracking we entered ourselves in a classic flat track
race, my brother again I dont know what he was riding
nor how he finished but I pinned my mini enduro full
throttle and ran the mile course with out so much as
braking, the officials waved me in and told my dad
that I needed to sign up for the mini bike class,
which we reluctantly did, they set up our course on
the front stretch a tiny little oval as I recall I
finished 3rd out of 9 riders! I think I won a first
place trophy somewhere but cant be sure where or when
since your not my boss or wife.
Skip forward a few years and I’m on a 1978 Husky
WR250 oh so very very sweet! I had come to the
conclusion after catapulting myself into the ground
numerous times that moto-cross and even hare scramble
forced me to exit the envelope and beat the living
hell out of myself. So when I had a chance at enduro I
thought cool I can ride my own race, I’m not out to
win I just love to ride trails. Upland Indiana
November 1981, having no idea what time keeping was
and really no interest, sporting my original tires,
chain, rings etc. I may have put a new plug in the
bike and cleaned the air cleaner,bark buster I dont
need no stinking bark buster! What’s a bark buster? I
should have been better prepared, would have been
better prepared but I lost my sponsor me da finally
came to his sense’s. I set off on what would be one of
the coldest, longest most miserable days of my life.
Mud, wet leather gloves steaming as I rotated hands,
the lucky one got to steam on the engine until I
regained feeling which was pain, trees that were to
stubborn to move, bark busters I think I see the
wisdom now, I lost my shifter towards the end of the
ride, putting along in 2nd gear wondering when this
thing would end…eventually it did and well I finished,
did not hour out no less! It beat me up, I know now
what the hood of that Packard covered with
hillbillies drug around behind a tractor all day must
have felt like. I was hooked, I knew enduros and
trail riding was where I belonged.
Twenty eight years after my last trophy in moto cross I
trophied again 5th place in an enduro by god and that
my friend is pretty damn good!

Monday, June 13, 2005

How to spell every last letter in the alphabet

Just in time for celebrating the 15 day anniversary
of "My Mule"(June 16) we posted a new spelling for
"H" it was suggested by Anonymous and I changed the
spelling.Rome was not built in a day, The OED was not
written in a day nor shall we have the letters all
spelled correctly but by God we are off to a good
start! This will also render your spell check obsolete
I reckon the software companies are going to jump
right on this idea, so be it....
lord knows they could use the money.
Thanks again Anonymous...I would also like to thank
the nice lady who answers to Nancy for her comment
and for being supportive...JW

Ok here goes all numbers have spellings, example 1 is
spelled one, 2 is spelled two and so on but letters
have no spelling which always leaves me feeling empty
if I want to mention a certain letter to a friend in
correspondence, for example:Dear Friend, I was
thinking of the L the other day...Ok L? what does that
mean? and should it not have a spelling, what has
become of our beloved English language? How many
letters can you spell? I thought so.Are we lazy
English speakers? Why don't we all write someone and
complain about needing a proper spelling for every
letter of the alphabet other wise we are going to
slowly slip into a degree of illiteracy that is just
dang stupid...................

Well, I was talking to my collaborator Roscoe and he
has prodded me with his help to come up with a
compressive guide to the proper spelling of the
english alphabet.Stay tuned...... Once we get over the
hurdle of "A" we should be able to complete and have
published within a certain amount of time.

Time pass's

Josh Williams
The correct spelling of our alphabet...First draft.
By Roscoe L and Josh W

Final edit by Josh W... Roscoe L I am sure will have
something to say about this...tough!
Ok we think we have "A" figured out its spelled "hay"
except the "h" and "y" are silent.
"B" is "bee".
"C" is "seagh"
"D" is "Dee".
"E" is "see" but remember the "s" is silent.
"F" is "eaf" this may or may not make since I will
leave that to the academics.
"G" is "ji". or goua (hard)
"H" is "
aitch". Confusing? But I am firm on this one.
I was firm until Anonymous
proposed a more accurate spelling. Thanks Anonymous!
"I" is "ahyee".
"J" is "jehyea".
"K" is "cay".
"L" is "el". As in diablo.
"M" is "em".
"N" is "en".
"O" is "oh". Easy enough.
"P" is "pee".
"Q" is "kyou". A little complicated but necessary, get
out of the boat if you don't like letters.
"R" is "aar". Sounds like a pirate in a hurry.
"S" is "es". As in (Me alphabet "es" su alphabet).
"T" is "tee".
"U" is "you".
"V" is "vee".
"W" is "dubbahyou".
"X" is "eccs".
"Y" is "wyh".
"Z" is "zee".
We believe this is the first step in making the english
language easier to understand, if we truly want to
preserve our culture then we have to take steps to
insure that history is written with letters from our
alphabet and they need a spelling . Yes we understand
we are going to need a lot more rules to the spelling
of our letters so we are open to suggestions,we do not
dot all our "ahyee's" We are to busy thinking outside of
the box.Please only constructive criticism we can
not mire ourselves down with useless debates about
progress and the hows and whys. Letters can no longer
go on with out proper spellings, why half the world is
laughing at us! Especially the illiterate!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

A letter from Roscoe

To celebrate the ten day anniversary of "My Mule" I have included a recent correspondence from Roscoe to a young admirer. It seem Roscoe knows about everything and dabbles in all sorts of business's. Why just recently he brokered a deal selling a bunch of empty beer bottles to someone in North Carolina, the transaction required 3 middle men. My point, nothing is simple with Roscoe, ask a question be prepared for a tale. But if you are looking for something the dudes better than ebay, he can find you anything and if not maybe some empty beer bottles will work.

Oh Wonderful Cait,

Please pardon my slow reply, sorry. I've looked briefly at that folk art section and I'll check on it again. I'm a very bad impulse purchaser. I get grabby in check-out lines. Batteries and tictacs my plunder. . . Oh, that Milk Duddy goodness. eBay tempts me with the same allure. I wear an aluminum foil hat to avoid financial ruin.

I once owned a velvet Elvis. Remember Cait, I live in the outback and work in lands even more wondrous. My velvet Elvis hung proudly, high in our work shop, an angelic protector watching over us as we toiled. The bust of HIS likeness stood four feet tall and two and some wide. The head pillowed upon black velvet framed in magenta, white and gold. Magnificence defined.

The owner's son, whose sense of humor was not sharpened by wit but rather by the misfortune of others, ordered the destruction of the tapestry. He claimed "The shop is no place for crap like that". The Eyes of the king followed him, the reason for his unnerving. He laughed as he struck the portrait and threw it into a cabinet.

One night, a dark and rainy night, kind harted thieves crossed the rain mirrored streets into the building. They nabbed the woven masterpiece and stole across the plains of Indiana, streaking toward liberation. Now in the far reaches of southwest Boone County resides a man whose admiration for Elvis has no equal. Exhausted from the adventure they found themselves huddled under the incandescent glow of his porch light. A feeble knock at the door.

A moment, a clack of the latch, slight in stature a man stood giant against the gray-violet hue of a television, his eyes reflective glass. Through the hiss of rain the box sang of "Blue Hawaii". In the porch light amber a porkchopped, sideburn cascaded to his jaw and brushed the high collar of a button down shirt. A burglar mumbled and handed him the cloth. He replied in a uniquely familiar tone "Thank you ladies and gentleman. Thank you very much." and as he turned to the shadows and closed the door, the air whispered from a twinkling rhinestone frock.

It is said that our pirates stood for a moment to contemplate and you could see a twinkle on their faces. Droplets of rain or tears of pride and satisfaction, I'm not certain.

Cait, that's the way I heard the story. It's based, albeit loosely, on fact. I did have a velvet Elvis. The boss' son didn't like it hanging in the shop and ordered it taken down. There is a guy named Les who now has a velvet Elvis. Above all, the first three letters in Elvis are E - L - V and everybody knows that elves are magic. Remember, I live in the outback and work in lands even more wondrous.


Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wales in Eire

A review on David Grays CD White Ladder first published on since I make a living as a reviewer I had to get permission to post this, geez what a pain in the arse!

Buy the CD its first class and pays homage to Van Morrison so enough said and please stop reading if you dont trust my previous assessment. I visited Ireland in 1999 with my divorced buddies club and one not divorced nor married guy with his girlfriend. We rented two compact cars (six of us) and took off for hostels unknown. We ended up staying at a hostel near Mt. Erigal and climbed the mountain simply because it was there, plus it was not really technical so took little preparation other than finding a parking spot where we would not cause an accident. We left our one buddy back at base camp, he was to hung over to climb so he ended up renting a broken down horse and rode it around a lake infested with some sort of fly that bit first and asked questions later, the questions and answers were found in the pints of Bass or Guinness at the pub across from the hostel where we were staying. We made it up the mountain in a record time for us and took some photos, lounged around soaking up the view and then ambled back down to drive back to the hostel and sit on the back porch listing to the caretakers jam box, after several errands to the pub we had just enough pints to make ourselves artistically receptive. We noticed how cool the music was on the jam box and asked the caretaker who it was (the cassette was just a copy and bore no name) he said I think its David Gray he's from Wales, I wrote it down with the intent of finding a copy later. We had split up as a group and agreed to meet in a town whose name I cannot recall just south of Galway.On the way to our meeting our fly bitten buddy, lets call him Patrick grew bored since he was not allowed to drive, finished what beer was in the car and decided to climb out the rear window and into the sunroof. He did this a few times and the novelty wore off so he stripped naked and attempted it again, only this time he got his head stuck between the seat and the shifter, they were driving down the road with a nude man sticking out of the sunroof upside down. As fate would have it they drove through Galway and the Arts festival was going on and David Gray was playing that night, so they found us in the unknown town and we all went back to Galway and managed to find one room, no matter, we had beer. The concert was perfect and we all slept like the innocent children that we were. I woke up early and decided to find some food and a record store to buy a CD of his, my buddy lets call him Tom came along. We ate at a small restaurant across the street from a record store ate and then walked over and by gosh ole Mr. Gray and band were the in the "Flesh" to sigh CD's the line was to long with teeny boppers for a man of my dignity to stand so I just found a couple of CD's and was ready to leave and by this time the line had subsided , I had Dave and the band sign my CD's , nice guys great trip buy the CD we need more bands like this in the world, help feed them.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Charles Williams and his da and Jerky

I had a dream the other night. I was at some sort
> of street festival and Dad came walking up, he had
> some sort of frame with jerky stretched over it,
> although it looked more like chocolate or rubber. I
> don't know what it was but the important this is
> WHAT Dad was wearing....
> He had on knee high brown leather boots with lots of
> tooling on them, he had on brown leather pants with
> a long brown leather coat..... On his head.... He
> had on some sort of head dress that looked like
> something out of Time Bandits or some sort of
> Genghis Khan thing made out of sticks and leather,
> the whole get up made him loot about 8 feet tall and
> he was just wandering around showing off his leather
> jerky thing. Can any one tell me what this all
> means? Is this the kind of story Josh is looking
> for My Mule? I need your help.
> C

Monday, June 06, 2005

For all my peeps

Now I have to make this site accessible for all my peeps all over the world because I care so much. Monkey monkey monkey monkey This site has become such a success I am overwhelmed!
I have decided to translate my stories into languages which I am vaguely familiar with. Monkey monkey monkey It brings me great joy to have this medium to communicate with since I do have a slight case of Tourette's Disorder
which makes it challenging sometimes to have monkey monkey monkey monkey a decent conversation with people. That is probably why monkey monkey I have been drawn to the art of literature monkey monkey. Some of my guest authors have resumes that are quite impressive! monkey Take Roscoe for instance, a regular in Vanity Fair not to mention a reviewers pet in the New York Times. Leonard Nelson has written for such magazines as Esquire, Playboy, monkey monkey The Economist and High Times. Charlie Williams from Trail Rider magazine is also well known for his Readers Digest monkey monkey monkey monkey condensed version of his first novel, a record for the RD. They where able to distill 360 pages into one paragraph! Ron and Shirley Williams normally collaborate in periodicals such as Alpaca Get Rich Quick Weekly, The Star Magazine and High Times. Caitlin and Matt VanKersen also have a long history of writing together, from Mother Earth News, Latitiudes & Attitudes, monkey monkey monkey Salon and The New Republic just to start with the alphabet. D K Baker has written extensively for Blue Boy, Big and Naturals and The Weekly Reader. This is just the beginning monkey monkey monkey from this day on I will not draw a monkey monkey breath without thinking of my friends/writers and it is my hope you will feel my.monkey monkey monkey

Maintenant je dois rendre cet emplacement accessible pour tous mes piaulements partout dans le monde parce que je m'inquiète tellement. Le singe de singe de singe de singe cet emplacement est devenu un tel succès que je suis accablé ! J'ai décidé de traduire mes histoires en langues des lesquelles je suis vaguement au courant. Singe de singe de singe il m'apporte la grande joie pour avoir ce milieu à communiquer avec puisque j'ai un léger cas du désordre de Tourette qui des marques il provocant parfois pour avoir le singe de singe de singe de singe une conversation décente avec des personnes. C'est probablement pourquoi le singe de singe j'ont été tiré à l'art du singe de singe de littérature. Certains de mes auteurs d'invité ont des résumés qui sont tout à fait impressionnants ! prise Roscoe de singe par exemple, un régulier dans la vanité juste pour ne pas mentionner un animal de compagnie de critiques dans les temps de New York. Leonard Nelson a écrit pour des magasins tels qu'Esquire, le play-boy, le singe de singe l'économiste et les grands temps. Charlie Williams de magazine de cavalier de traînée est également bien connu pour sa version condensée par singe de singe de singe de singe de sommaire de lecteurs de son premier roman, un disque pour le RD. Ils où capable distiller 360 pages dans un paragraphe ! Ron et Shirley Williams collaborent normalement aux périodiques tels que l'alpaga obtiennent l'hebdomadaire rapide riche, le magasin de Tenir le premier rôle et des grands temps. Caitlin et VanKersen mat ont également une longue histoire d'écrire ensemble, des nouvelles de Terre, de Latitiudes et des attitudes, le salon de singe de singe de singe et la nouvelle République juste à commencer par l'alphabet. Baker de D K a écrit intensivement pour le garçon bleu, grand et les produits naturels et le lecteur hebdomadaire. C'est juste le singe commençant de singe de singe à partir de ce jour dorénavant que je ne dessinerai pas un souffle de singe de singe sans pensée à mon friends/writers et c'est mon espoir vous sentirez le singe de singe de my.monkey

Jetzt muß ich diesen Aufstellungsort zugänglich auf der ganzen Erde bilden für alle meine Blicke, weil ich mich soviel interessiere. Affeaffe-Affeaffe dieser Aufstellungsort ist solch ein Erfolg geworden, den ich überwältigt werde! Ich habe entschieden, meine Geschichten in Sprachen zu übersetzen, denen ich mit vage vertraut bin. Affeaffeaffe holt er mir große Freude, um dieses Mittel zu haben, zum mit zu verständigen, da ich einen geringfügigen Fall von der Störung Tourettes habe, der die Marken es schwierig manchmal zum Haben Affeaffe-Affeaffen ein annehmbares Gespräch mit Leuten. Das ist vermutlich, warum Affeaffe ich zur kunst des Literaturaffeaffen gezogen gewesen sind. Einige meiner Gastautoren haben Zusammenfassungen, die ziemlich eindrucksvoll sind! Affe Nehmen Roscoe zum Beispiel, ein regelmäßiges in der Eitelkeit angemessen, zum eines Rezensenthaustieres in den New York Zeiten nicht zu erwähnen. Leonard Nelson hat für solche Zeitschriften wie Esquire, Schürzenheld, Affeaffe der Wirtschaftswissenschaftler und höchste Zeiten geschrieben. Charlie Williams von der Hintermitfahrerzeitschrift ist- auch für seine verkürzte Version des Leser-Auswahlaffeaffe-Affen Affe seines ersten Romans, eine Aufzeichnung für den RD weithin bekannt. Sie, wo fähig, 360 Seiten in einen Punkt zu destillieren! Ron und Shirley Williams arbeiten normalerweise in den Zeitschriften wie Alpaka erhalten reiche schnelle Wochenzeitung, die Stern-Zeitschrift und die höchsten Zeiten zusammen. Caitlin und mattes VanKersen haben auch eine lange Geschichte von von der zusammen gerade schreiben, von den Muttermasse Nachrichten, von Latitiudes u. Haltung, Affeaffeaffe Salon und die neue Republik, zum mit dem Alphabet zu beginnen. D K Bäcker hat weitgehend für blauen Jungen geschrieben, groß und Naturmenschen und der wöchentliche Leser. Dieses ist der anfangenaffeaffeaffe von diesem Tag gerecht, an, das ich nicht einen Affeaffeatem zeichne, ohne an mein friends/writers zu denken und es ist meine Hoffnung Sie my.monkey Affeaffen glauben
Spanish:Ahora tengo que hacer este sitio accesible para todos mis píos todo sobre el mundo porque cuido tanto. ¡El mono del mono del mono del mono este sitio se ha convertido en tal éxito que me abruman! He decidido traducir mis historias a las idiomas con las cuales soy vago familiar. Mono del mono del mono me trae gran alegría para tener este medio a comunicarse con puesto que tengo un caso leve del desorden de Tourette que las marcas él desafiador a veces para tener mono del mono del mono del mono una conversación decente con la gente. Ése es probablemente porqué el mono del mono yo ha sido exhausto al arte del mono del mono de la literatura. ¡Algunos de mis autores de la huésped tienen curriculums vitae que sean absolutamente impresionantes! toma Roscoe del mono por ejemplo, un regular en la vanidad justa para no mencionar un animal doméstico de los revisores en los tiempos de Nueva York. Leonard Nelson ha escrito para los compartimientos tales como Esquire, playboy, mono del mono el economista y períodos culminantes. Charlie Williams del compartimiento del jinete del rastro es también bien sabido para su versión condensada mono del mono del mono del mono del resumen de los lectores de su primera novela, un expediente para el RD. ¡Ellos cuando sea capaz de destilar 360 páginas en un párrafo! Ron y Shirley Williams colaboran normalmente en periódicos tales como alpaca consiguen el semanario rápido rico, el compartimiento de la estrella y períodos culminantes. Caitlin y VanKersen mate también tienen una historia larga de escribir juntos, de noticias de la tierra de madre, de Latitiudes y de actitudes, el salón del mono del mono del mono y la nueva república apenas a comenzar con el alfabeto. El panadero de D K ha escrito extensivamente para el muchacho azul, grande y los productos naturales y el lector semanal. Esto es justo el mono del mono del mono que comienza a partir de este día encendido que no dibujaré una respiración del mono del mono sin el pensamiento en mi friends/writers y es mi esperanza usted sentirá el mono del mono de my.monkey

Friday, June 03, 2005

My Folks

My folks begged me to start the first Immigrant Lutheran Blog ever, but I refused! I said mum...da...I aint... we aint Lutherans so what’s up? They fell silent. Help me with this, am I or am I not or... what is a Lutheran? What is a Lutheran in 10 words or less, always a fun game for long road trips.

Brother Cartmans Neverland

My brother hmmmm? Lets call him Cartman…. My brother Cartman had a run in with the law which caused me to loose my new enterprise to become the first and best X-Treme petting zoo’s in the contiguous United States. I had a facility of nearly 720 acres fenced and naturally landscaped meeting all the requirements our insurance companies required. I had more bizarre animals than you can shake a stick at, aquatic as well as terrestrial and I proudly say not one of them was something you would allow within 50 yards of a loved one. My business plan was tailored for the X-treme crowd and they like pain, danger, idiocy and such… I had it all! I had 5 Lynx, 17 Electric eels, 32 porcupines, 74 Sea Urchins, 1066 Piranha , 90 Ferrets, 45 Badgers, 50…yes 50 Wolverines, 2 Grizzly, 3 Black and 5 Brown bears a plethora of leaches …the list goes on, just a drop in the bucket but you get an idea of the diversity of beasts available at my X-Treme petting zoo made available by me to fill any freaks fantasy of brain damaged fun.
Cartman on the other hand decided to open against my advice a Heavy Petting Zoo named "Neverland Heavy Petting Zoo" . He had goats, Tapirs, sheep of course, miniature donkeys etc. I grow weary at the thought of his …sickness. Of course he was sued by the Jackson family for stealing their idea and as a result I lost all my credibly and my financing because I was kinda related to him.
I move onward cautiously and with some trepidation while Cartman still cavorts with his extra inventory of animals. Life aint fair and the petting zoo game is a thankless business….Plan B!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Gimmie Structure

Being a pro-reviewer I am unused to the lack of structure that a book, music or unknown review provides. I fear I could begin to ramble and that thought makes me uneasy, I am a serious man and the main purpose of my blog is to promote my reviews so I can put food on the table for my family and our many small weird pets. I have a beagle dog that walks on her front legs because her hip is broken, she likes hamburger and rice. My Alligator Alvin died recently and is awaiting a proper burial. All this requires money and reviewing is my only means of support so please send money to my pay pal account at Did I tell you about the monkey I wanted to buy, well I wanted to buy a monkey but my parents wont let me so I had to settle for sea monkees but they are hungry and again all this takes money. So send this to everyone you know so I can maybe prosper and all my pets don't die, the list goes on and on.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


About me, hmmm. Gosh where do I start I am of above average heightwhich average height is 5’8' in Europe and 5’9' in the USA so I’m 5’10' and my friends all call me stilts. My weight is 12 stone, just right or so says my mom and a friend of hers, shes known since 4 years after she lost her virginity.I had a good friend when I was a kid, he was my size but much older, back then they were called midgets but today they are called little people. His name was Frankee Herman and boy did we have some good times at the beach! We would talk and walk on the beach dig up things, run from crabs and then go home. Frankee I was told by my brother recently was nine years my senior and became a preacher , you know as far as little people go he was a stand up midget! Years later I ran into what is called a dwarf on the school bus and my brother Charles Chadwick got me in a fight with him even though he was a farm dwarf and very powerful from years of baling hay, opening fences working on tractors and other various and sundry farm chores. Back then we were not prejudiced so the little people had to work just as hard as us norms. Anyway back to the fight, seems Smedley had a hat on and my brother thought it would be funny for me to take his hat off and yes it was I have to admit sidesplitting funny the first time, however after the third time and third warning Smedley stood up on the seat in front of me and started swinging! I will never forget the speed, grace and agility my brother displayed while he jumped over my lap across the bus aisle to the opposite seat all the time laughing. Well Smedley had me by two years and a small lifetime of farm labor but it ended up a tie. He had a bloody nose and lip and myself I had a bloody eye brow and nose. Anyway I’ve never met a little person that could fill the shoes of good old Frankee Herman. Its not that I dislike little people…just dont get me started!
Well back in those days I did more than fight little people, heck I was only 55 pounds in 6th grade.My dad promised me he would buy me a barbell set for Easter if I gained 5 pounds making it an even 60 pounds or as I prefer 4.29 stone. Well I ate more bacon sandwiches, banana milkshakes with raw eggs mixed in than any person since or before that time.I didnt gain a pound, but me mum and da got me the barbell set anyway, as well as the traditional'Feasting Pusee' (A plastic cat holding a knife and fork in front of a trash can,it was on wheels and you would push it around and its front paws would go up and down like it was hungry, pretty cool) and a 'Smoking Monkey' (a little plastic monkey that blew smoke rings). The monkey was new the cat was something I always got, I'd play with for a few days forget about it and they would regift it the next Easter. I tried Ebay but every time I did a Feasting Pusee search I'd end up at those pages that make me feel randy,so its lost to just my memories, I miss my pusee.I remember when my Da told us he gave a six pack to a guy that did dirt work for him to help build some jumps on our Moto-Cross course. I also remember thinking a few years ago he probably white lied a smidgen just to appease me Ma. This bulldozer guy built some nice jumps and a mighty fine mud/water hole for us to jump over. We caught a carp and put it in the mud/water hole. We think the thing died.I remember my sis Cait was awful fond of that pond, and still to this day maintains that we jumped over her on our motorcycles while she was playing in the pond.(She likes to call it a pond and I dont blame her I’d hate to tell people that I used to play in a mudhole with a dead carp) We of course never put her in any danger when we jumped the pond, the poor girl is just crazy.I aint never written a biography before so I think I’ll take a rest. Thats about it for now I never done this before. JW Visit Amazon for all my reviews and please contact me to donate to my paypal account