Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Every thing is broken....

I wrote this review Jan 28th 2006 and as far as I am concerned Amazon owes me big cash because from the stats I have 1 of 4 people finding me helpful. How can you please 25% of all people on Amazon. I work hard for this company. Its about time they came off with some jing and shit. What up with these corperate drones?

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Everything is Broken, January 28, 2006
Reviewer:Jonathan W. Williams (usa) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
I always love reading Jared Diamond (no relation to Neil) he just has smart things to say. This book is no different in my judgment from his other works, its subject is different but there are some similarities as well. I read the book and it takes me back, back to what some call simpler times, but I don't know~`All life is fraught with immanent peril and if I digress forgive me, I have a point.
You see it was around thirty odd years ago that I became a partner with my buddy Joe. Good ole Joe had experience in 4H and had great success raising and showing, rabbits at the fair. He had a few ribbons under his belt and a couple of empty cages up in the barn and we began to chat. Joe explained to me the ease in raising rabbits and if we had good stock (Ribbons from the fair) we could breed the champions and sell the baby rabbits for a respectable profit. Me not one to shy away from a sure deal signed on with an investment of somewhere around $60.00 to buy a couple of show rabbits, I forget what kind, they had a reddish coat and big ears.
Yep that's how Joe and I became partners, we went to a respected bunny man and bought some prime bunnies, then we put them in the cage's separate and fed them water and bunny food. Easy enough, I remember the pile of rabbit dung piled up a couple of feet and it sure did not smell pretty, but neither does a lot of business deals. It came time to put the male with the female (Joe knew when I just watched, once voyeur...) anyway the two went at it like a frigging whirling dervish in a blender. Joe separated them and then we waited, not one bunny, not one. So we coupled them again, again the freak show, the long wait and nothing , no bunnies. Joe being 51% owner of our enterprise asked around and soon discovered we had bought some bum rabbits, they were not to old to copulate but to old pro-create, the baby bunny was doomed. We were pretty bummed. I was until I decided after reading many a fishing magazine how much money you could make farming worms! I told Joe about my idea and he was not cheered in the least, in fact the little pessimist scoffed if memory serve's . So I sent away and got some information on worm farming and realized that rabbit poop would be my secret earthen ingredient to raise super worms that fishermen would drive miles to buy from me and eventually my employee's. Joe gave me permission to dig some of the poop from under the cages for my new independent business venture. I dug up a bunch of dirt and found worms in my yard and then hunted some at night with a flashlight. I had a box I had made that my mom was not to pleased with sitting behind the house outside the kitchen window. My father tried to persuade me that pure rabbit poop sprinkled with urine was maybe not the best way to raise a super breed of fishing worms, I judged them fools and moved on...Well the rabbit earth became real hard and all the worms died. I was the only one surprised. I tell you I sometimes think people are happier if you fail. Why this book reminded me of this I do not know, but read the book!Its pretty dang good! Written but not edited by JWW

41 Comments:

At 10:12 PM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

My darling Mr. Williams,

I am stunned to think that you should assume I had not already perused your copious reviews.

I fear nothing, luv.

 
At 5:16 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Erin:SO it is wrriten so it shall be done....when I dunno, gotta read the Novel. JWW

 
At 7:34 AM , Blogger ing said...

Now that's a useful review, full of insight into the mysterious and hard-hitting prose of Jared Diamond. You could have 75% of the people on Amazon, if they weren't so competitive. Josh, I don't have much money left, but I HAVE to have Evereything Is Broken.

 
At 8:14 AM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

See how this little weezil works? About the time I get him cornered he posts a new subject and no one goes back to read the last comments on the previous post. Rope a Dope. I'm running as fast as my tight kneed sun dress will allow. Remember when Tom Terry had to have root canal done after Jessies woman beat him up? Remember him laying on the ground with her on top? Thad be you, on the bottom needing root canal. Hey do you need root canal on dentures?

 
At 12:56 PM , Blogger ing said...

Mom:

You really do look tough in that dress. On second thought, I think you could kick anyone's ass. Do you think I could borrow it when you're through with Josh? (Please try not to rip it in the process, and watch that the bonnet doesn't fall over your eyes. That's an old brawling tip, from an expert.)

Good luck,

________________

Josh!:

Emergency! Matt was wondering why he tends to collect belly button lint! You're a warehouse of knowledge. Can you help out?

 
At 4:23 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing:Thanks you really dont need the book after you read the reveiw.

Mom: Hope you dont choke on your dentures when I karate chop you in the mouse.
ing: Belly button lint is caused by the belly button lint gland. I had mine removed and have not had any side effects other than not having to do anymore, thats why I turned to blogging.

 
At 6:43 PM , Blogger matty said...

Josh -- Thank you for the guidance. I shall out looking for a belly button gland remover who will work on the cheap ASAP.

By the way, a most excellent review! I agree. You should be paid. I am calling Amazon as I type.

 
At 6:49 PM , Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

I'm sorry that we made you doubt your faith in God :( We are out of here soon as we are insane.

 
At 5:13 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Matt: on the Amazon thing , you really think so? On the belly button lint, do not shop the cheapest price , though it is a simple surgery, dont hire some back alley belly button gland remover, that could be dangerous. Kind Regards JW

Bill: I'm not sure what your sins you have created, I'm tunnel visioned on myself for the most part, so I may have missed much. Maybe you can be reborn and create a blog more funner for yourself and stuff. Best to Ya JW

 
At 9:01 AM , Blogger kellywalters said...

yeah.. This review is fantacical

 
At 5:11 PM , Blogger Calzone said...

Pedantic windbag!!!!

But you make an awesome clam chowder dude

 
At 7:13 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roscoe commented on the wrong post, this is his post which I will respond to as soon as time permits.

At 5:07 PM, Roscoe said...

I remember the summer of rabbit stench, worm farms and Josh’s bi-weekly trips to “That special doctor you just talk to”. The whole family went. Heck, they invited Joe and me to go along. Josh would dig in his worm box to no avail. The ammonia sludge burned the nose so bad your ears itched from the inside. It became imperative to convince the poor kid that he was a victim of worm rustlers. . . “Probably that weird kid down the road.” The next summer, Josh put a large dead fish in a coffee jar and buried it – to dig it up three weeks later and use it for bigger fish bait.

Mom If you want to get a “lovin’ up”, wear the sundress, put a bag over your head, and maybe the dog will hump your leg.


Post a Comment

 
At 7:20 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roxi: Thanks, if only Amazon understood what I am doing for them.

Calzone: Always a pleasure.Better a wind bag than a pus bag I suppose.

Roscoe: It was a dead carp, I buried it for three weeks.I read about it in a magazine, it was supposed to work? I forgot all about that , it was like kimchee(sp) of the deep. I never really caught anything with this bait and you all, I mean all of you laughed at my efforts. Ya bunch of fucks!

 
At 7:22 PM , Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

I have a new job working for Charlie "the party" Manson..too bad you all killed Jesus

 
At 8:30 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Bill: Good for you, glad to see you are proactive and not letting things get you down. You have great powers and I am sure you will use them for good. My advice is to find someone down on their luck and kick them, easiest fight, as you well know. Best to ya blog pirate. JW

 
At 8:59 PM , Blogger ing said...

Poppa, can you hear me? I been robbed, man!

 
At 9:12 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Poppa has a clean fill dump site, that sometimes needs a little protien. Let Poppa know and we can take care of your problems. Let me know. Kind Regards JW

 
At 9:34 PM , Blogger ing said...

I dunno what you just said, but I do know that I need your kind regards and your dump site. My treasure has been stolen!

 
At 9:58 PM , Blogger ing said...

Kindest regarder:

I've had just about enough of your snoring. At first, okay, I could buy that maybe we were talking "singing saw." Later, though, I started thinking Skil. Which, the honeymoon is now over, JWW. The log sawing has to end! For the last time, turn over, or I'm going to don that sun dress, and you don't want to know!

 
At 10:15 PM , Blogger ing said...

Ha ha, have you noticed that certain comments by certain bloggers don't show up on certain sites? That's whatchi'm talkin' 'bout.

 
At 8:49 PM , Blogger ing said...

Sweet, sweet beer, Josh.

My comments are here, but maybe not forever. Hmmm.

 
At 9:40 PM , Blogger Phats said...

If you ever get your big cash, will you split it with me?

 
At 4:41 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams are where thou dark eye glances where thou dark eye gleams and what ethereal dances by what eternal streams.I forget the rest but I think the mole people where working the levers in mole land yesterday. We may still have a problem.

Phats: When the mutha load finally does arrive I will set up a trust fund for everybody, so as to avoid cash-o-mania and people pissing it all away on new relatives crawling out of the wood work. I would guess your allowance (if things go half as well as I plan) to be about 1.65mil every year for the next eleventy years.

 
At 6:03 AM , Blogger ing said...

Oh, we do, Josh, we do.

 
At 8:29 AM , Blogger Phats said...

WOW!! I am quitting my job tomorrow :)

 
At 1:19 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Dont worry I have a plan.

Phats: Your showing good judgement there pal.

 
At 1:41 PM , Blogger ing said...

Ha! Me too! Let's give 'em the old double judo.

 
At 3:05 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing Ha~` You bet the double judo!

 
At 5:54 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

This is not a joke in the heartland, just fact.


A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in At 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average
down home, folks. Like I said, my boy's a typical Texas baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around, and Many exclamations of "WOW!" We heard one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.


Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says,

"Say you're the father of that typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been
making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.

So how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."

The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious.

"What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve,
leans into the bartender and proudly says,







"Had'm circumcised......"

 
At 10:32 PM , Blogger ing said...

It's true; I use his foreskin as a duffel bag whenever I go on a trip.

 
At 5:28 AM , Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

That kind of talk worries me.

 
At 5:31 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Thanks

Bill: I think you are just being a worry wart.

 
At 9:13 AM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

You know they named the baby: "Mom, toilets blogged!" I still have my foreskin, I use it as a wallet. One time when Jackie O was over she was asking about it, I told her to lick it and it turns into a suitcase! Yea baby, I still got it, I may be slow and inconsistant butlick it and it turns into a suit case! Ahahhah

 
At 9:42 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Mom:He who laughs ones jokes loudest laughs hardest.

 
At 7:48 PM , Blogger ing said...

Hnf, hnf, hnf.

(I didn't want to laugh too loud, 'lest people take me for Josh Williams.)

 
At 8:09 PM , Blogger ing said...

Here's my Josh Williams imitation:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 
At 8:25 PM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

ARRRRzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzARRRRRzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

my impersonation of me around Josh

 
At 8:40 PM , Blogger Phats said...

Hmm where'd josh go?

 
At 4:34 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

You all are mean to me!

 
At 8:18 AM , Blogger ing said...

Josh, we are no meaner than your adenoids.

 
At 9:28 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Leave my noids out of this! JW

 

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