Easy Pizza Omelet No Kidding

First of all to make an over size pizza really is not that tricky you just tilt the oven. Then you eat what you can and then refrigerate the rest. Be sure to eat enough so you do not have to tilt your fridge to accommodate the leftover za.
In the morning crack some eggs in a bowl, scrape of the toppings of your pizza and you know what you have the makings of a great omelet.You cook it and stuff, or is that a scrambled egg pizza? So you maybe you fold over the eggs onto the pizza scrapings, at any rate its pretty darn good.

Big Brother is here and he is P--- err Angry!

Even in passing most people I knew, thought ARM's were not a good idea. So why?
I watched Pirates of the Caribbean "At the Worlds End" the other night, and thought well this is better than an ARM...I did not think it was a great film, I did like Keith Richards Cameo etc. I always loved pirate adventure films but I just did not realize since I was a wee lad that pirates come in all shapes and forms. The legendary Kracken, is the lesser of the evils when it comes to financial advisers.
I suppose the entire mythology in films are just grooming us for the reality of the avarice and greed of the average investment banker.
I suppose good ole show biz is just preparing us for the real storm.
The big three? "Never have so few done so much to so many." Kinda like Winston Churchill but without the noble backing.This line won't work with all the spin masters available.
However I rise tomorrow I will work and will remain a reasonable cognizant being. I pledge I will not create another Wal-Mart. I do not care to be part of the Brave New World. So whadaya do?

Roscoe the Prologue

I found this while reseaching the Roscoe archives. I was one of those unmentionalbes and proud of it, ah those were the days, nothing on the tube just our bikes and the imagination to create our own moto history.

The blogs titled “dog house - A Roscoe History” parts one and two are long. You will find them below or tucked away in the June 2005 archive. Tedious , I know. Get comfortable, I’ll tell you why.

In my formative years, my circle of friends and I grew up on the slightly rolling, glacial plains of Indiana, USA – farmland. The neighborhood kids lived two miles away. Because all of our parents tired of driving us to each other’s houses, they allowed us to buy mini-bikes and small off-road motorcycles. The bikes enabled us to visit and when we crossed the fuzzy line of acceptable behavior, mothers sent us home.

The enlightenment of cable or satellite television had not reached us in the outback. We tuned in six fuzzy channels; three network, one religion, an independent and the Public Broadcasting. We entertained ourselves inventing practical jokes, building moto-cross tracks, throwing dirt clods and sharpening our senses of humor watching cartoons and BBC imports of “Benny Hill”’ and “Monty Python”. Fine literature encompassed fishing, hunting and off-road motorcycle magazines. We made do creating our own fun. Jump ahead a few years and the ol’ bunch, now states apart, continue to laugh and joke around on bulletin boards and blog sties.

One friend and I shared a secret from the others . . . His Ma turned us on to J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings”. Had the gang known that we read books, let alone books about Elves and Wizards, they would have kicked our Asses.

Later, Tolkien wrote “The Silmarillion”. A precursor to “The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings”, it provided historical backgrounds for characters in the first / next book and trilogy. “The Silmarillion” confused me so that I read the book on how to read “The Silmarillion”. Similarly, George Lucas introduced the “Star Wars” trilogy, episodes 4, 5 and 6, before prefacing them with 1, 2 and 3.

But, what has “dog house” to do with Tolkien and Lucas? “dog house” has nothing to do with Tolkien and Lucas except for a few feeble comparisons.

Unlike Tolkien and Lucas, “dog house” is not as action packed. Peter Jackson will not bang on the camper door begging for the movie rights. Like Tolkien and Lucas, “dog house” precedes the rest of the story. It’s a history to the adventure of why “traveling in this great country, especially with a good woman and a chimpanzee, is the American dream”. It’s a tedious read but it helps explain stuff that comes later.

Take 10 or 15 minutes to read it and join in if you like. If you don’t like, remember you’re reading a drivel filled blog site for entertainment.

This is Lada Niva

1980 Lada Niva THE car! Priced to sell! - $1000 (UCF)
Reply to: sale-927165771@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-20, 2:02PM EST

Craigs list does have some bargains, not PC is part of the deal on some occasions.
This is Lada Niva. This is The Car. It has four wheels, engine, body and boot. It doesn't have electric windows or climate control or side airbags or automatic gearbox or any other pussy-whipped shit they put into cars nowodays. You know what you get instead when you buy it? A fucking 21 piece toolkit. Do you have a toolkit for your shitty car? Fuck no, because you're a faggot who doesn't even know how his car works. And even if you do, you couldn't fix shit since ninety percent of it is electronics.
Lada Niva is a real fucking car, car which you can repair yourself, for real drivers who know their shit. It's being made by Russians so you know this is so robust it will work after a goddamn nuclear war, and it's been road-tested on fucking syberia, while your worthless japshit has been tested in a country which doesn't know what fucking snow is. You know what temperatures there are in winter in Russia? So low that people have to drink a liter of vodka daily or they freeze to fucking death.
Oh sure, it's not as pretty as your overpriced piece of shit, and it's a good fucking thing. You probably wash your eurotrash every goddamn week. I could punch a side window and fix it with cardboard and duct tape and you'd barely notice any fucking difference. And the more mud I get on it, the sexier it fucking looks.

And if you'll try to overtake me, I'll just push you into the ditch, bitch. Then I'll fix my car for a price of two chickens while you spend half a year worth of salary to replace a fucking door.

This car is so bad ass it was imported by pirates (I'm actually dead serious about that, got it at a government seized property auction).

$1000 firm.

Bail Out?

I understand that "we the people" chose gas guzzling vehicles over the fuel efficient vehicle. Our government if we choose to call them intelligent/honest and aware of the future...Major cooperation's generally have a plan within a century in advance...In defense (sarcasm) of our dominant parties is that both ignored and profited from the gas guzzlers.Our leaders knew ( if I did, they had to have some sort of clue) that OPEC had us by the chin hairs.
Bail out for the auto industry is all part of Oil and Industry that the tax payer is paying for, despite their apparent ignorance of the feelings of the US voting public. What I suspect is that they did not realize that the new generation (under 30) is not charmed by state of affairs. I am over 30 and mystified why our country allowed OPEC to control our government and environmental policy...Now don't get me wrong I do not trust the not for profit environmental groups, Club Sierra for example. We the people need to read,and make our own decisions. Why? Because our beloved environmental not for profits have become something akin to Club Sierra.
Bail out for the auto industry? Let them claim Chapter 11 with the government paying the people in the US they owe for parts and services. After this bail out, the big 3 will be forced to work and not fly to Washington on private jets begging for money.
This message was approved by my campaign for the private business bailout party.

Roscoe the Early Days

Roscoe was born a few years ago, he is older now and wiser some would say. His story was cleverly divulged when we first tricked him to post on a message board from a long time ago.

What may appear as nonsense to the casual reader is the first actual research done on one of the most important writers of the 21st century.
dog house - A Roscoe History Part One



Long ago, on a distant bulletin board

Most read story in TeamMooch!:
Comments are owned by the poster. We aren’t responsible for their content.

Posted by: wyatt on Apr 16, 2001 - 08:13 PM
[TeamMooch!] I have an old refrigerator I hope to convert into a dog house. Does anyone have some old motorcycle parts I can use for the conversion?

by roscoe on Apr 17, 2001 - 04:48 PM
You don’t really want to convert an old refrigerator into a dog house . First, if that dog bites into the feon coil he’s gonna get a real bad headache. If your dog gets a real bad headache, it’s gonna be grumpy. B, a refrigerator can be top-heavy. One good gust of wind can squish Old Faithful flat (flat dog = crying kids). Third, purchase a washing machine converted into a dog house. You will enjoy a lower center of gravity and without freon , it is environmentally friendly. I have an old Maytag modified with some Hodaka Super Rat components that works just fine. It’s a classic. And my Rott, 3-Foot just loves it. He is a lot smarter than old 2-Foot.

by Anonymous on Apr 17, 2001 - 07:21 PM
1. How much for the Maytag and do you offer financing? My old dog four foot has one foot in the grave after he ate the freon coil, you were a little late on the advice but thanks anyway.

by roscoe on Apr 19, 2001 - 04:00 PM
That Super Rat Maytag is not for sale. It is just a demonstrator. Now, I do have an avocado KawaMana I could put four foot into in just 41 or 42 easy payments . Sorry to hear the old pup is under the weather. He may come around in a few days. Maybe he can use a little Pepto & 7up, that always makes a rumblegut feel better.

by Anonymous on Apr 19, 2001 - 07:19 PM
My neighbor has a nice motorhome that I might trade you for the house. Do you barter?

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on Apr 25, 2001 - 04:57 PM
I’d like to make mention of the fact that I bought one of Roscoes Washing MAchine dog houses and my dog aint one damn bit cleaner than when I first put him in the contraption. The Rinse cycle is broken and spin dry just made my dog throw up. So what gives? I want my neighbors motor home I traded you for it back!

by roscoe on Apr 26, 2001 - 03:41 PM
I’m sorry, there will be no refund on the motorhome. I traded it to my neighbor Freak Show Roy for a chimpanzee named Diablo. Freak Show was going on the road and needed a tour bus. He said that monkey was a prime ape so I figured he was pretty smart and I could teach him to strip out washing machines. Since I don’t speak Spanish I named him Tater (Tater Chimp, get it?). Well, things just got worse after that. It took an hour-and-a-half to wrestle Tater into his coveralls . He wouldn’t keep his tools organized and all he wanted to do was pick bugs off the dogs.

The other day at lunch, Tater went nuts . He jumped up on the table, stripped himself naked, and started playing with his fish stick and hush puppies. He screamed and threw food everywhere. Old Two Foot sat there howling and confused. He’s got a cataract in one eye , a sty on the other and his good ear was full of coleslaw . I thought that I would never get things to calm down.

So , if you have problems with your new dog palace, you can bring it back. But, your taken the monkey !

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on Apr 26, 2001 - 05:01 PM
I’ll take the Chimp and put him to work detailing cars. Monkey Shines Detailing will be the name of my company.Does he eat people food?

by roscoe on Apr 28, 2001 - 08:03 PM
Freak Show told me Feed that ape what you eat. One thing is certain, he doesn’t like seafood. Otherwise, he eats almost anything. Be careful. If you set him to work detail on cars, he is liable to start eaten turtle wax like chip dip. I don’t know if he likes the wax or if he likes the turtle, but he can sure power that stuff down. Burritos and bananas!!! Do not feed him burritos and bananas! WHEW!!!

If you want this monkey for your car business, let’s figure out a deal. Maybe we can trade some detailing on my new dog house palace line. A good buff and wax on household appliances can make them look like new .

by Anonymous on Apr 28, 2001 - 11:56 PM
No deal! Your Monkey is mine, and if you want to start trouble then you ask the little fool monkey who he wants to live with? ME IS the correct answer you monkey hogging fool!

by Anonymous on May 01, 2001 - 11:02 PM
Roscoe, looks like weve got a real crack pot on the Forum. Monkey Hogging fool?

by roscoe on May 02, 2001 - 05:26 PM
OK Mister , it’s a done deal. Spit and a handshake that monkey is yours . No more questions, arguments, promises, warranties or refunds… He is your monkey. May he bring to you all the joy and happiness that he gave me. In some ways I hate to see him go but, in most ways I say good luck and don’t let him into the tequilas. He can be a mean drunk.



by Anonymous on May 02, 2001 - 07:02 PM
Not so fast there slicky! Keep away him away from the Tequila? I never trust a monkey that cant hold its liqour, find some other sucker! Now I recognise you for being one of those slick, fast talkin sophistimiticated con-men, I aint biten, fish is dumber waters slicky.Deals off!

by roscoe on May 02, 2001 - 07:49 PM
It’s the darnest thing, just as I thought I was stuck with that monkey I fell into a gold mine. After dinner Tater got mad because I would not let him watch Adam 12 on the telvision set. Well, he got up and ripped the air-conditioner right out of the window! As he threw a fit around the garage, the insides fell out of that air-conditioner. With a little more work and some plexi-glass , it’s going to make a great hamster or Guinea pig habitat. It needs a little more research and development because right now that motor driven exercise wheel really tuckers the little guys out. I’ll grab the sprockets and chain from an old YZ and change the gearing. Thanks to that chimpanzee, I have a new product line . I’m gonna make millions!!

by baker (google.com) on May 02, 2001 - 08:51 PM
Tread lightly my friend, I hold the Patent to the habitat cooler. My brain thought it up not your monkey.

by charlie on May 04, 2001 - 09:59 AM
Well I’m glad to see our web site is doing good service to those who need some safe place to hide. Roscoe, do you have any thing for my cat? 22 pound simese and meaner than hell. She killed 11 men in 9 minutes, she is hungry and must be fed daily, I just don’t have it in me any more, old age and being banned from Osco dosen’t help. Osco and Roscoe, they rhyme, they both treat cyapedigo, but one wears a diaper and one sells a diaper. A canoe tips and the pricks on the out side of a porcupine. Gotta go lick my wounds, thank dog I’m not injured where I can’t lick. Waiting to cage a kitty in Cadiz. The moral to this story is if you can’t remember the joke just blurt out the punch line, chances are we’ve all heard the joke before.
Help my cat.
Charlie

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on May 04, 2001 - 10:18 AM
I have an old dryer, could that be converted to a exercise wheel for a gerbil who has a bad case of giganticism? I live near a nuculer plant.

by roscoe on May 04, 2001 - 08:21 PM
Charlie, HUH ? What did Wyatt’s radioactive gerbil say to Charlie when he was hungry? Here kitty kitty! Now, that is a punch line. Has George W. Bush been writing your material? I have a monkey who’s a tree climbing, p@@p flinging brain trust compared to that babble . What do you do for a 22 lb. cat? Well, I’m not really a cat type person so I’ll just say buy nice big tupper-ware with a good seal. Otherwise, come on down to the monkey house . . .err, uh… design department. We’ll hang an old Yokohama knobby tire for a swing and put Tater to work on your new cat house.

Wyatt, you could be on to something here. If there were some way to plug this glow in the dark Super rat in to that dryer, it might be the purest form of potential energy. A rodent dynamo! Hook that beast up to a turbine and power California!

by Anonymous on May 05, 2001 - 01:47 AM
Power California? We only need just enough to shift the fault line just a tinsey bit, then my Nevada properties will finally be a smart investment.

by charlie on May 05, 2001 - 10:24 AM
Does California have a delete button? I know my cat does, you tickel that one spot and she is gone. Roscoe’s monkey found out the hard way when we visited the design department. ( Boy was that a suprise, design slum is a better description ) Washing machines stacked up with wrecked cycles every where in the mud. Dogs and monkeys peeking out of every appliance, I must say Roscoe sure tests his product before offering them up for sale. Feral hogs protected the compound and Roscoe just sat there on his porch with a shot gun across his lap. Yea, I bought one of his machines but I don’t think I will go back to pick it up, I’ll just kiss the $290 good bye and thank dog I excaped with my life. He can have the cat too!

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on May 05, 2001 - 11:57 AM
You know what they say:
Pigs get fat,
Hogs get slaughtered.

by roscoe on May 07, 2001 - 08:23 PM
That Charlie fellow called the other day and said he wanted to see the showroom. He said he wanted a dog house for his cat. I figure a sale is a sale so, I gave him directions. He sure asked a lot of questions on the telephone and when he finally got here he sure seemed nervous… Real jumpy. Kept turning around and checking his back pocket like he forgot his wallet. My guess was that he’s a cat person and the dogs must have made him skittish. He finally decided on a harvest gold Kenmorazuki . He helped cart it out to the end of the drive , paid for it, and said that he would be back to pick it up later. I haven’t seen him since. I thought, maybe he didn’t like the place but then he wrote that letter to this bulletin board thing.

I can only tell you that his eloquent word picture could only begin to capture its true majasty . To see the place at sunset, an amber cascade twinkles off motorcycle chrome and reflects from those home appliances like a fiery waterfall. It will leave you choked up on natures splinder. My true love Griselda called it “God’s Little Acre” until she run off .

by Anonymous on May 07, 2001 - 10:57 PM
Bravo!

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on May 08, 2001 - 02:44 PM
If there is one thing I knows and thats womens and Roscoe Griselda aint comin home to “Gods little Acre”. Take her things and feed em to your hogs. Maybe you should get yourself a Sheep and a pair of velcro Chaps.Sheep houses could be the next big thing. Call some old dry cleaners maybe industrial king size warshers can house a sheep suitably.

by roscoe on May 13, 2001 - 07:54 PM
That Wyatt fellow just showed an ugly side. Sheep? NO!!! I’ve been thinking. If I’m going to win Griselda back , I’m going to have to win her emotions by writing stuff and sending stuff to her. Here goes…

Ode to Griselda

She Won’t Come Back. No Matter How I Beg Her.
She Hates Me So Bad
She Burned Down The Trailer.
Those New Tires For The House Won’t Fit Nothing Else.

They Were Round, Just The Thing.
Fitting Like Her Wedding Ring.
They Were Shiney And Nice But,
Now They’re As Flat As My Hart.

She left me for some jerk. A swapmeet Picasso.
Who tattooed on her thigh, a picture
Our boozing Lhasa-Apso.
She took it with her but I’m glad,
that dog’s a mean drunk anyway.

Now I Feel Lower Than My Junk Yard Wiener Dog.
Because My Sweehart’s Run Away, With A Biker Gal Called Hog.
I’m So Sad And I’m So Blue
I Don’t Know What To Do.
I Feel Lower Than a Junk Yard Wiener Dog.

by Anonymous on May 13, 2001 - 10:46 PM
Son, its hard to compete with swap meet Picasso types. Save your writings for a real woman who will love and respect you for the Warsher/ dawg haus acceptspurt that you is. Maybe the next used warsher trade show you can find your self a woman worthy of a man with your unique talents…Sorry about the sheep joke. I know a woman who might be just right for you, she is the famous Jesco Whites (The Dancing Outlaw) sister and although she is missing,maybe, just maybe you are the one who will find this charming woman. Best of luck and more inormation on her can be found on Jescoe (Jesse or Elvis) Whites “The Dancing Outlaw” website. Good luck and keep writing your poems and convertin your warshers. Wyatt

by Anonymous on Jun 06, 2001 - 04:13 AM
I just stripped my dish washer of its little slotted racks and discovered that it was ideal for staging miniture clamation plays that had story lines based around tropical rain storms and hot humid winds. My first production will be based upon the life of “Hurricane Gussy”! Could you lend me some clay,a dishwasher,a generator,a garden hose, a spigot,a handfull of sulfur and some very small coconuts?

by roscoe on Jun 07, 2001 - 02:58 AM
Staging play productions are you? Say Mister, are you that Mathew Broderic fellow who’s married to Sara Jessica Parker? They’ve been talking about you on another part of this web site. Boy, she’s a sweetie. She sure seems busy with that hit TV show. You must have a lot of time on your hands. I don’t know about clay animation or the tools you’ll need to get started. I do have an old front load whirlpool that I will let you have cheap. I don’t have generators though I do have an old Ossa that I found crashed into a chicken coop once. . . I have no clue how it got there. I figure maybe we can hook the magnito to one of those cigarette lighter, plug-in and verters and see if we get enough juice to turn it over. As far as that other stuff, you’ll have to round it up yourself. I’m not much for those Broadway productions. I find they’re run by a bunch of hippies. I’ll tell you one thing, if I find out you are a hippie, I’ll put the dogs after you. Oh yeh Mister, its cash upfront no lending!

by roscoe on Jun 27, 2001 - 03:15 PM
The bozos running my small-cap mutual fund decided to stick with those Dot Com ventures even though they were bleeding like they had been through the slaughterhouse. They somehow didn’t understand that if the president of the United States was an oil man, they should consider investing in petroleum. It doesn’t matter the president wants to suck all the oil out from under Alaska and oil companies are gonna get fat. More power to them, I say. If the next generation X expects us to conserve and leave all the oil to them, they should wake up and smell the transmission fluid. They should get off their lazy backsides and invent a new energy source. If we conserve energy, they will just sit back and figure that there is plenty to spare. If they panic now, they will see it is necessary to be smarter and they will study harder in school.

To make along story short, the old retirement egg tanked . To try and catch up on the money situation, I’ve been out in the yard slashing prices on everything that I could see including all of the stuff that the landfill would not take. EVERYTHING MUST GO! I HACKED PRICES TO THE BARE WALLS! Even Two-Foot as a price tag. (keep in mind that he doesn’t get around quick because he only has feet on the keddy-corners. That’s why the neighborhood kids sometimes call him Wiggles or Roll-o. )

by Anonymous on Jun 29, 2001 - 12:32 AM
Dotcom kinda rhymes with Dotgone dont it?

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on Jul 10, 2001 - 11:09 PM
New energy source ideas:1. Old Politicians
2.Young Politicians
3.Dead Politicians
4.Jerry Springers Guests
5.Lawyers
6.Myopic enviromentilists
7.Stock brokers
8.Financial Advisors
9.Old Growth Redwoods
10.Manatees
11.Old Cigarette packs from behind the couch
12.Firestone Tyres
13.Outdated Maps of Russia
14. Any and all instruction manuals
15. Your neighbors limbs which hang over your yard which by the way is your property!
16. Small stuff you dont need.
17. Small stuff your neighbor does not need.
18.Worthless refrigerators that have been converted into
dog houses that rats wouldn’t even go into let alone mans best friend.
19. All loosing lottery tickets
20. Convert friction energy from scratch of lottery tickets into heat for the freezing Eskimos.

by charlie on Jul 11, 2001 - 09:22 AM
21 Joshies brain22 Mark fell down
23 Abe’s girl friend
24 self tanning lotion
25 empty beer vessels

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on Jul 11, 2001 - 07:09 PM
26,27,28 & 29. Charlies outsie belly button.

by roscoe on Jul 31, 2001 - 09:08 PM
My uncle always said “On starless nights , tires won’t smoke when you burn them”. I guess photosynthesis must have something to do with them smoking in the daylight. We’ve got plenty of them lying around now that all the SUVs have new ones. Now There is an energy source!

by roscoe on Jul 31, 2001 - 09:10 PM
My uncle always said “On starless nights , tires won’t smoke when you burn them”. I guess photosynthesis must have something to do with them smoking in the daylight. We’ve got plenty of them lying around now that all the SUVs have new ones. Now There is an energy source!

by roscoe on Jul 31, 2001 - 09:16 PM
Well the big inventory reduction sale is over and anything left has been pushed into the ravine. A bit of good luck though… I had an old Nordge prototype that I suspected was worth something. I kept a tarp over it special, to keep water out and the bird stuff off of it. Rather than letting it go to somebody real cheap, I decided to sell it on the Internet . Well , the bidding went nuts. I ended up selling to some computer fellow from Seattle, Washington (the state). You wouldn’t believe by looking at it , but that washing machine was worth a bundle ! That’s it folks , it’s early retirement for me .

I’ve been sitting here for a few days wondering; what do I do with that G O B of money? I’ve always liked racing. It didn’t matter, anything that had wheels would do. Big wheels, bicycles, motorcycles were all fun. Now, I get a bunch of cash and I want to go fast! My first incline… NASCAR!! Load your checkbook and buddies in a truck and go racing. Second, I figure do that gumball rally, just like the great actor Gary Busey. Then I figure, settle down and take it easy. I tell myself “Don’t spend that money to fast “. There’s a lot of this world I haven’t seen yet and it’s time I did. So I bought back that motorhome from Freak Show and turned to the horizon. I’m hitting the road. Tater, Lorileelee and I are off to find waves of amber grain, mountains majestic, and seas shining. Here we come, Michigan !

by wyatt (wyatt@teammooch.com) on Aug 01, 2001 - 12:04 AM
Worlds largest cherry pie was made in Michigan near that big lake in a
town who’s name I cant recall, but dont miss it its the real deal!

Guest Post from William Douglas Little

With permission I post this from WDL Kind Regards JW

A Rare Political Posting -

Several years ago, I received an e-mail that quoted a Scottish Professor from 1787. In this e-mail, he spoke of the, (in his opinion), wrong choice made by our founding fathers in choosing democracy as our form of government. Since that time I have quoted Mr. Tyler's words many times, but had long since deleted the e-mail. Yesterday, a good friend of mine forwarded the e-mail to me and unknowingly gave me the opportunity to share my solution to the decline of democracy here in the U.S.

You may agree with my thoughts, or perhaps you don't. Either way is just fine by me as we each are entitled to our own opinions. Either way, I hope that your reading this helps to encourage thought toward our political system, which most of us agree needs some form of change.

First, the e-mail as I received it. I do not know the origin of this e-mail, by the way, but I believe that I first read it around 2001 or 2002. The second part - regarding Professor Olson's findings - will seem a decidedly Republican slant. I've not verified the information on that part, but you're welcome to do so if you wish. My main interest was Tyler's statement, however I did find the second section to be interesting.

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh , had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:


'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'

'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years'

'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. from bondage to spiritual faith;

2. from spiritual faith to great courage;

3. from courage to liberty;

4. from liberty to abundance;

5. from abundance to complacency;

6. from complacency to apathy;

7. from apathy to dependence;

8. from dependence back into bondage'


Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul , Minnesota , points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by: Democrats: 19 Republicans: 29

Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000 Republicans: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by: Democrats: 127 million Republicans: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Democrats: 13.2 Republicans: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: 'In aggregate, the map of the territory Republican won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country. Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare...' Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the 'governmental dependency' phase.

So ... many people will read this and perhaps think that it represents a non-issue. Perhaps some will say that democracy and a capitalistic society are no longer the best way for America. Perhaps you'll believe that "moving on" to a hybrid democratic/socialistic or even a full-blown socialistic society would be better for America. If that's your thought, then that's your right. So be it. You can probably stop reading here and we'll retain our friendships. Personally though, I couldn't disagree more.

Those who are concerned about reforming our democracy and rebuilding our government may read this and consider the bridge to be impassable. If we are to believe that Mr. Olsen is correct in his estimation that 40% of Americans have now reached the point of "governmental dependence" and historically democracies are proved destined to fail after 200-years, then what can be done? How do we reverse the trend?

Well, it just so happens that I do have a plan. Over the years we've heard many politicians on the stump screaming for "Welfare Reform", but to date, nobody has done anything of substance to tackle this elephant. Sure, bills may have been presented and votes may have been cast, (within our government - not often by you and I), but ultimately the programs of public assistance have only grown and multiplied to the point that we now have fourth and even fifth generation welfare recipients. Is this what was intended with the introduction of the first "welfare program"? (From what I can find, the first full-blown Federal program was introduced as a temporary measure to provide assistance to families out of work following the Great Depression). The answer is no.

The long-term recipients - those "working the system", if you will - have simply learned that it is easier to get by through government dependence than by actually working. They don't think in terms of contributing to society, but are following - in many cases - a learned behavior taught them by their parents or peers. Why not? It's there ... might as well take it. Of course, this drain on our tax dollars is a snowball effect, lending only to larger government to support more programs and a constant increase in the number of recipients. Currently, more than 40% of Americans do not pay taxes and that number is growing. That means that nearly half of the country is attempting to support, (in one way or another - if they don't receive assistance, they certainly use the roads and other things paid for by tax dollars), not only their share but also the share of the other half. What happens when it's 30% paying taxes? 20%? 10 and so on?

A baby-step reform of the public assistance program is not going to help. Though the problem of forcing through a drastic change remains a challenge, here is a plan that I feel may work, if implemented.

Welfare Reform -

CLASS ONE: Temporary Displaced Worker Assistance - A worker who loses his/her job still needs to feed their family until finding new employment. We can agree that this is a basic need, (though not a "right"). Therefore, a displaced worker program could be provided in which the worker can receive assistance in the form of hourly wages for each day that they "work" to contribute to society. Non-skilled laborers would be employed through government agencies working on infrastructure, maintaining or building national parks/forests, or in conjunction with private non-profit organizations such as Habitat for Humanity or public shelters. The requirement would be to appear on time and provide four-hours of work and then have the other four-hours to search for a new job. Likewise, skilled- workers would be temporarily "employed" caring for and providing assistance to severely disabled citizens, (as mentioned in Class Three), working within schools, (if so qualified), or with a myriad of other organizations or agencies in need of temporary assistance. In addition, private sector companies needing temporary help, (either skilled or non-skilled), could hire the services of assistance program citizens through existing private sector agencies, who would be paid the base minimum wage rate by the hiring company and collect a standard 15% commission from the government. (This further saves tax dollars invested by allowing private sector payment for the bulk of the wages). This is a temporary assistance program, but rather than mandate a distinct cut off time, (whereby a worker who truly could not find employment in a downturned market would be cast out), workers will be "encouraged" to find other employment due to the nature of the program. The worker would be paid the base minimum wage for 8-hours on each day that they showed up at the assigned time and worked a full four-hours, followed by a logged four-hours of job searching. (This would need to be tracked and verified, but with the huge savings in public assistance payout, a small percentage could be used to fund any additional training and staffing for the current "welfare offices"). In addition, the work performed will be low level and the want to move up to better employment would be strong. The benefit? All recipients would be working to earn their assistance money and performing jobs that would either benefit the greater good of the populous, or providing low-cost employment within the private sector and drastically minimizing the size of the government contribution to the program as it now exists. Plus - and perhaps of most importance - it promotes a habit of work rather than collecting freebie giveaways. If you're going to have to tow the line anyway, you might as well find a job that you like.

CLASS TWO: Partially Disabled - we can all agree that none of us want to be disabled in any way. In a society based on equality and fellowship, we want to help those who are. Likewise, most all of the disabled individuals I have had the pleasure of knowing are good people who don't want hand-outs or empathy for their disability. They strive to overcome whatever disadvantages they might have and many are quite successful. However, there are those who are unable to find employment and require help from others to get by. For those who are partially disabled, the Class Two program would provide for them a form of worker assistance in which they can contribute to government needs, (providing data entry from their home, for example), or private sector companies in need of part-time or temporary services that fall within their capability range. Again, the private sector could be supplied through agencies for commission, greatly reducing the burden on tax dollar contribution. Depending upon the situation, this class may be considered temporary or permanent assistance.

CLASS THREE: Severely Disabled - There are those among us who simply cannot be expected to contribute and many of those also require special care. These individuals would fall into the third class of assistance, through which they would be provided with income and/or care assistance that would be either temporary or permanent depending upon their individual situation. Obviously there are situations in which insurance is providing for all or some of the needed care. This program would work in conjunction with insurance in cases where additional assistance is required but not covered. In no way would this reduce the burden on insurance companies with an obligation to provide to these citizens. In the event that government care or physical assistance is required, (either skilled care or non-skilled labor in maintenance or upkeep of the citizen's home), Class One workers could be used to supply the needed aid, thereby further reducing the tax dollar burden for assistance.

Obviously this is only the "basics" of the plan and there are a number of issues not covered here. However, it's a start to a solution. The problem, as I mentioned before, would lie within getting such a drastic reform put in place. I do believe, though, if this problem and solution were widely enough publicized together, the critics would either have to present very good reasons as to why assistance should be given without being earned, or they will only be seen as contributing to a "freebie" society and the further decline of the greatest Nation on Earth.

No offense, that's just the way I see it.

All the best,

WDL

Spam from the New York Times

I have never eaten spam in my life, I have however at one point in my life remebered all the lyrics to Monty Pythons Spam song. A great article on Spam from the New York Times.

“There are all kinds of people who have an emotional connection to Spam,” said Gil Gutknecht Jr., the former Minnesota congressman, who was in the gift shop at the Spam Museum buying a Spam tie, sweatshirt and earrings. Mr. Gutknecht recalled that he once served as a judge in a Spam recipe contest.
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* Hormel Foods Corporation

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“The best thing was Spam brownies,” he said, with more or less a straight face.

No independent data provider compiles sales figures that include all the outlets where Spam is sold, including foreign stores, so it is not clear exactly how much sales are up. Hormel’s chief executive, Jeffrey M. Ettinger, said in September that they were growing by double digits.

The company would not discuss more recent sales of the product or permit a tour of the Spam factory, citing rules that Hormel said prevented it from speaking ahead of a forthcoming earnings report.

However, Hormel executives appear to be banking on the theory that Spam fits nicely into recession budgets. Workers on the Spam line in Austin — more than 40 of them work two shifts —see no signs that their work schedule will let up.

“We are scheduled to work every day except Thanksgiving and Christmas,” said Darwin Sellers, 56, a Spam “formulator” who adds salt, sugar and nitrates to batches of Spam. “Mr. Ettinger is negotiating with the man upstairs to get us to work eight days a week.”

Mr. Sellers said he had not seen much of his family in recent months, but the grueling schedule had been good for his checkbook. He bought a new television and planned to replace a 20-year-old refrigerator.

Unlike his colleagues though, he has no plans to stock up on Spam. “It’s not something I’ve ever developed a taste for,” he said.

A rising segment of the public, it seems, does have a taste for Spam, which is available in several varieties, including Spam Low Sodium, Spam with Cheese and Spam Hot & Spicy.

James Bate, a 48-year-old sausage maker, was buying it at Wal-Mart in Cleveland recently. Not only was it cheap, but he said it brought back fond memories of his grandfather’s making him Spam sandwiches.

“You can mix it with tomatoes and onions and make a good meal out of it,” he said. “A little bit of this stuff goes a long way.”