Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My favorite fish, this time I mean it!

Yes the toad fish or if you are feeling less regional the oyster toad fish or Opsanus tau if you will. When I was a boy we would visit the Atlantic coast of North Carolina (the Pacific Coast of NC was to far of a drive) and hang with my grandparents. My grandfather would as a rule take us fishing freshwater and then for a week or two we would be on the coast fishing in big blue aka the Atlantic Ocean. My grandfather was not flush with cash so we normally found very creative places to dip a hook.
Shrimp and squid was the bait of choice, my grandfather would scoff at my collection of lures and try as I might I always went back to real live dead bait, because the lures never worked and the dead bait would produce. We would use a 2 oz weight with two hooks, drop it into the water and most of the time you could real in two fish! Pin fish, blow fish, croakers, preacher dicks, eels, spot, mullet among others but my favorite was the toad fish! The toad fish is ugly and not good to eat but it was a fighter and the sense of danger you would feel when trying to take it off your hook was addictive, the thing had jaws like a vice and always in the back of my mind I would think "what if this thing latched on to my daddy parts"?
The ocean is about fished out, I cant remember the last time I caught a toad fish ~` I t makes me sad but then again I don’t fish that often if I am on the coast so maybe the sea still has a bounty but its lost to me, I miss the I caught bottom like tug of a toad fish and the adrenaline rush I felt when I would ask my grandfather to help me get it off my hook.
Attention Readers: This could become a book review provided I find a book it fits. Kind Regards JW

Otoad.jpg (10192 bytes)
Oyster Toadfish
(also known as the oyster cracker)

Family: Batrachoididae

Species: Opsanus tau (Linnaeus, 1766)

Range: western Atlantic from Maine to the West Indies.

Habitat: found on mud, oyster shell, rock, along sand bottoms and garbage dumps in shallow water.

Food: preys on crustaceans, mollusks, fish, and just about anything else it can get its mouth on.

Characters useful in identification: bulging eyes; fleshy flaps (whiskers) on cheeks and jaws; broad, flat heads.

Color: skin is yellowish to brown with dark brown oblique bars and brown reticulations.

toadfisht.jpg (10661 bytes)
Image courtesy: Fisherman's Guide: Fishes of the Southeastern United States.
Charles Manooch, III, author. Duane Raver, Jr. , illustrator.

Reproduction: toadfish are known for producing vocalizations, accomplished by rapid muscle contractions. The male produces a "foghorn" sound which may attract females to a nesting site. The spawning season lasts from April to October.

Maximum size: 38 cm TL (1.25 ft.)

Other interesting tidbits:

  • The toadfish has no commercial value and is generally considered a nuisance due to its powerful and potentially dangerous jaws which make it tough to remove from fishing hooks; however, it is edible.
  • It can survive out of water for extended periods.
  • This fish is also plays an important role in medical research.
  • NASA and the Marine Biological Lab in Woods Hole just completed experiments in which toadfish were sent to space. To read about this research, go here.


Murdy, E.O., R.S. Birdsong, and J.A. Musick. 1997. Fishes of Chesapeake Bay. Smithsonian Institution Press, 324 pp.

For any comments or suggestions, contact the Fisheries Webmaster (
Date last modified: 07/14/99

I am going to regain my fortune!

   I remember receiveing these via snail mail years ago.
Finally oppurunity isknocking and I am answering the door
with a big smile and hello! Thats not me in the photo
it just is inserted to show how happy I am to have this
oppurtunity again. Wont be fooled again! I'll send my
SS# and mothers maiden name just tospeed up my getting
rich process.
From your future tycoon JW

From the Desk Of:
Mr Suleman Muhamede,
Bank of Africa.Burkina faso.


I am the manager at the auditing and accounting department of Bank Of
(B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we
an abandoned sum of US$33.5.m dollars ( US dollars) in an account that
belonging to one of our foreign customer.Who died along with his entire
family in Monday, 31 July, 2000 in a plane crash in paris.Please visit
site that is one of the evidence the directors brought in other to
the money at the end of the day,

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of
kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon
discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and
release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased
safety and subsequent isbursement since nobody is coming for it and we
don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
unclaimed after fours years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and a
Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. I agree that 30%
this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn
account ,10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the
business and
60% would be for me.

Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the
percentage indicated Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of
fund to your desiggnited bank account ,you must apply first to the bank
as a
relation or next of kin of the deceased with a text of application that
will send to you,so i will ike you to send to me your private telephone
fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in
money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you
fax or email the text of the application . I will not fail to bring to
notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain
atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the
You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

°1)Dear p/s reply this mail.
°2)your tele number...........
°3)your fax number...........
°4)your photo................with your age......


Yours Faithfully,
Mr Suleman Muhamede,

Monday, December 26, 2005

Der Skitter Monkey

I started this site around June 2005 when I read an article about how easy is was to set up a blog. The broad who was recounting this was some famous (I don’t know who she is) journalist and she created two blogs in one evening because she was tired of looking at Internet searches of herself and finding a very unflattering photo of herself from college. Her solution, which worked, was to create blogs about herself and post on them semi regularly so when people did an Internet search they would not find the photo, but her blog which had trumped the search engines. So I somehow remembered this blog service, set up a blog for myself without to much trouble.
I studied the blog and found a place to post errant thoughts that left on their own, could strike a communication's satellite and cause all sorts of trouble. Best I contain them in a small little area called a monitor. One thing I have discovered on my journey is I am not the only one in the world who is obsessed by simians, specifically the little bitty cute ones... Apes~` I could take them or leave them. So with this post I swear I am not copying other people taking photos of monkey dolls and creating personalities for them. In fact the monkey AKA "minki" has no personality...well maybe if monkeys were actuarys~` I worried about its social impotence then quit.
My girlfriend Lynn gave me the minki known as Skitter Monkey just because she knew I liked monkeys and all that they stood for and shit. ( whats a monkey post without skat) I seldom suggest she read my posts, no need to have her reminded of my cure for insomnia.
With this I took a quick picture of my skitter monkey sitting on a "covey" of books sandwiched between my monkeys reading bookends. Happy New Year

Post script: Note the :monkey playing a eucalale lamp in the background.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

"Our town is turning to shit"

I thought I made myself and my friends some FU money. Money where you can quit your 9 to 5 and finally fulfill your full potential, chase your wildest dreams. Well the check cleared eleventy billion dollars! I rolled in it, ate some (after I examined it with a black light) and fired up some Cohibas, the regular nuvo riche shite. Then I saw what they are doing to my city! They are building really old looking abandoned gas stations, this crazy bastard is going to take eleventy square miles and build 30,000 faux abandoned gas stations! I wretched when I heard this!
I came up with a plan. I am going to take the money (all of it) and pay a retaing fee to every lawyer in the US of A ! At which point I will have the freedom to speak my mind. I will then run out of money and go back to what I was doing in the first place. Gosh life is such a circle. JW


The movers are already at work, they hope to have it moved by the end of this year! I feel a little guilty for selling my city but hell those feeling will go away if I rub money on myself. Now as soon as the check clears all my friends are going to get a cut, there is plenty to go around. I am not at this moment at liberty to reveal who bought my little bit of paradise but after all the legal mumbo jumbo, I can reveal all. I see potential for a made for TV movie. Happy Holidays and soon we will all be rolling in dough! Kind Regards JW

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Brother can you spare a dime

I know people have the misconception that Indianapolis has been rubbed flat by glaciers years ago before most of us were born. Well friends I am here to tell you it aint! In fact this photo was taken from my back porch which faces away from the city. I was careful to crop the photo to include only the real estate I own.
Now I am a reasonable man and if you have studied my blog, very consistent. So what I propose is to sell my eleventy thousand some acres to the highest bidder. (Its worth billions) Why you ask? Well, central Indiana was flat due to glacial movement, but from the age of ten I took charge of my life and decided I would build me some hills and after 33 years I have completed my project and plan to move to another area rife with plains and do the same. My passion is to build really big hills. Mountainous hills! But in order to buy the land and shovels and shovel sharpening hones I need me some jing. So here is opportunity knocking, don’t say go away I am waiting for opportunity , bid and bid high because no matter the cost you got a bargain. I prefer non sequential bills, nothing larger than a $20. and well that’s it. Contact me if you want to carpe the opportunity of a lifetime! Otherwise go sit on the stool and wonder why you let your life go by without once trying to make it better for you and yourn. May the best person(s) win. JWW
PS: Yes I will subdivide.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Finally a review that stands the test of time

After so many letters I have reprinted this review from and earlier Amazon review reprinted on my blog. Its all based on fact. 12/16/05

I dont understand why so many people found this review unhelpful. I fear Lord of the Rings fans are out to get me. Let them I'm ready, you can be darn sure of that, I didnt grow up on the means streets of the Beagly Dump road without picking up a few street fighting tricks.

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Edition: Hardcover
Price: $50.40
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours

18 used from $21.68

6 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

Need I say more, January 7, 2005
First read this when I was but a wee lad, great books a must read, why it reminds me of when I was a wee wee lad and my brother Charles Chadwick told me that he thought Smedley (a bona fide little person who live up the road from us) had some firecrackers and maybe we should pay him a visit and maybe get to light some off! Well we hopped on the tractor and drove down to his house,farm country if you must know.We saw him from a distance shooting hoops on his makeshift gravel court we drove up and he of course had a puzzled look on his face since we had never visited him before, we just rode the same school bus. Well as an ice breaker we played a game of horse, he won. Then he challenged us to a game, which hardly seemed fair since he was a little person like the Dwarf in "Lord of The Rings" , we took him up on it and were soundly trounced, he had an amazing hook shot. Well my brother Charles Chadwick decided to broach the subject of firecrackers and Smedley didn't know what he was talking about, we followed him around abit and he showed us a 5 gallon bucket of grease for the tractors, we had never seen such a quantity of grease in our lives, pretty cool. As we were looking at the grease my brother Charles Chadwick told Smedley that he had dropped a quarter in the grease and he could have it if he dug it out, without hesitation Smedley reached elbow deep into the grease and then my brother Charles Chadwick laughed and said he didn't really, we all laughed, some more than others and thats about all I remember about that visit. But I digress, Lord of the Rings all the way! I found the Silmarillion a little difficult but you cant go wrong with the trilogy.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Head Thinkin'

It took many a laborious hour of intense head thinkin' to come up with one of the most uninteresting posts I have posted. After much thought I decided to post a picture of my new helmet after an enduro. Yep, its muddy and so is my bike. However I did finish 3rd overall in the 250B class for the season! For this I get a jacket with my name and my status. Fortunately squids are not permitted to enter these events so my place was assured. A picture of my dirty helmet, can I find new heights in dullery? Yes is the unfortunate answer.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

My Local Hang Out

Just to dispel myths that Indianapolis is a small town I had to post this photo of one of my favorite pubs within walking distance to me casa. Sometimes I will visit and have a beer , tell some storys win some hearts and toddle on home. Somtimes I will visit and I will win so many hearts that I am forced to stay and spin more yarn's then lead home a covey of hoties to my lair so I can spin more yarns and so on and such and then... Yep I can spin some yarns. "Never be afraid to talk to loud, boast to much and skip on a bar tab, that is if your a real man~`" me da always says...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I seldom tell jokes on this site

The best I can judge this car is overloaded. So maybe that is why
I included it in the post, its relevance to the joke. I seldom post
jokes, you knew this right~`

A Joke I have heard in many forms but still enjoy:

Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Earl, hired a pilot to fly them to
Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading
the plane for thereturn trip home, the pilot told them the plane
could take only four moose.

The Texans objected strongly. "Last year we shot six and the pilot
let us put them all on board; he had the same kinda plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. Unfortunately,
even at full power the little plane couldn't handle the load and went
down a few moments after take-off.

Climbing out of the wreck Bubba asked Earl, "Any idea where we are?"

"Yeah, I think we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."

Americano Feo

Ladies, have you ever wondered what your men did on their exotic high adventure fishing trips. Well let this photo do the talking... Photographers disclaimer: No one was harmed before during or after this photograph was taken (at least under my watch) . No unnatural acts other than this don’t look quite right? I am still puzzled and yes a bit disturbed. As HST said "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro" I'm broke so I guess I'm not weird.Phew! Draw your own conclusions. JW

Friday, December 09, 2005



Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
- autograph inscription in album to Mrs. Rutherford B. Hayes, reported in The Washington Post, June 11, 1881

Compact OED

I think it was around January 7,2005 that I had my first book review published by I was a little nervous about submitting the review, what with performance anxiety and stuff but I gritted my teeth and submitted.
Much to my surprise my review was published , to further my surprise they did not pay me for my labors~` All the hours of work , research and passion that went into this review and for what? Not one thin dime!
I read a book "The Professor and the Madman" which recounted the beginnings of this, the greatest of all dictionaries! The Madman was an American physician who was weaned on the civil war battle field and was never the same. He moved to England and spent his families allowance ( wealthy family ) on ladies that make you feel loved, it was told that he had a large appetite for these said women and a little friend to match, his little friends prodigious size was attributed to chronic masturbation. The Professor was a child of the streets with a gift for language but did not masturbate as much as the madman...Oh yea the madman cut off his XL special purpose with a small knife.I don't want to spoil the story so I will stop. Read the review I'm being redundant again.

18 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

Professor and the Madman OED, January 7, 2005
Reviewer:Jonathan W. Williams (usa) - See all my reviews
I like the book because it comes with a really cool magnifying glass to read the tiny words,I purchased a supplemental magnifying glass to make the words even larger! My only suggestion would be that they print the book large enough to not require a magnifying glass perhaps 6' square? Sure it might be cumbersome but you would not need the magnifying glass, nevertheless I would still want the magnifying glass because its pretty cool on its own.

The following is all copied and pasted.

The Compact is not an abridgement, but a direct photoreduction of the entire 20-volume set, with nine pages of the original on every nine-by-twelve page of the Compact (a magnifying glass comes with it). As in the Second Edition, the Compact combines in one alphabetical sequence the sixteen volumes of the first OED and the four Supplements--plus an extra five thousand new words to bring this monumental dictionary completely up to date. And it is monumental, with definitions of 500,000 words, 290,000 main entries, 137,000 pronunciations, 249,300 etymologies, 577,000 cross-references, and over 2,412,000 illustrative quotations. But as large as it is, perhaps its most important feature is its historical focus. The OED records not only words and meanings currently in use but also those that have long been considered obsolete. Moreover, under each definition of a word is a chronologically arranged group of quotations that illustrate the word's usage down through the years, beginning with its earliest known appearance. The result is a dictionary that offers unique insight into the way our language has, over the centuries, grown, changed, and been put to use.

More than 100 years in the making, The Oxford English Dictionary is now universally acknowledged as the world's greatest dictionary--the supreme arbiter on the usage and meaning of English words, a fascinating guide to the history and evolution of the language, and one of the greatest works of scholarship ever produced. The Washington Post has written that "no one who reads or writes seriously can be without the OED." Now with the Compact, the world's greatest dictionary is within the reach of anyone who wants one.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Leo Kottke, Jack Gets Up

This picture reminds me of most of my mornings. I wake fragments of a man and then slowly become something resembling one. The work is intended for a far deeper meaning but that is all I will allow for myself. It also reminds me of one of my favorite artists Leo Kottke, not one of my favorite of his songs but it comes to mind.

Jack Gets Up

Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
And you crawl out of bed and you crawl out of bed
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
And you look at the moon where the window is
And the stars shine, and the stars shine, and the stars shine
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And way down below in the sun belt
And the telephones, and the telephone, and the telephones
And you look out the moon where the window is
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And some of us breathe in the brown ground
Where the worms clown, where the worms clown, where the worms clown
Way down below in the sun belt
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And every night when you lay down
You fall flat, you fall flat, you fall flat
Some of us breathe in the brown ground
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

So we're asleep in the same dream
In the snort fort, the snort fort, the snort fort
And every night when you lay down
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

Santa Claus modified snow peas
On the sun roofs, on the sun roofs, on the sun roofs
So we're asleep in the same dream
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

If you look in the mirror it's your father's face
And the thin grin, the thin grin, the thin grin
It's Santa Claus pulling up snow peas
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And there's tears in the bank and the credit card
In the back yard, in the back yard, in the back yard
If you look in the mirror it's your father's face
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And once in a while when the wind blows
And the heart winds, and the heart winds, and the heart winds
There's tears in the bank and a credit card
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

But there's lint in the pocket and a breath mint
Or a car key, or a car key, or a car key
Once in a while when the wind blows
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

And your kid has a face like a walnut
From the ice cream, from the ice cream, from the ice cream
But there's lint in the pocket and a breath mint
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Do as I say Not as I Do

Yuengling . For almost two centuries, tiny, family-owned Yuengling survived by refusing to grow.
So how'd it get to be America's fifth-largest brewery?
Hell I don't know all the answers. All I know is while in North Carolina I visited a dry county, we took the bikes over the mountain and had a great ride. We were on pavement, gravel and path and then before you knew it we were at a gas station and found Yuengling at $6.99 a six pack, cheaper than in the big city. We both cramed a six pack into our day packs and headed for home. After about 30 minutes of riding we trailed it down to a look out and had a warm one. Packed it out and headed home and then brewed 5 gallons of home brew. Not bad for a day . Truth be told I would not ride a bike with more than beer in me, I have a high tollerance but , damn that pavement hurts! Peace Trails JW

Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Good Quote is Hard to Find

This is one of my favorite Mark Twain Quotes and photos like this always remind me of his words. I have to admit I did not read Pride and Prejudice nor see the movies, but this has little to do with the quote, I doubt Mr. Clemens could give two shits...

From the pen of M Twain:
I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.
- Letter to Joseph Twichell, 9/13/1898