Sunday, December 18, 2005

Brother can you spare a dime


I know people have the misconception that Indianapolis has been rubbed flat by glaciers years ago before most of us were born. Well friends I am here to tell you it aint! In fact this photo was taken from my back porch which faces away from the city. I was careful to crop the photo to include only the real estate I own.
Now I am a reasonable man and if you have studied my blog, very consistent. So what I propose is to sell my eleventy thousand some acres to the highest bidder. (Its worth billions) Why you ask? Well, central Indiana was flat due to glacial movement, but from the age of ten I took charge of my life and decided I would build me some hills and after 33 years I have completed my project and plan to move to another area rife with plains and do the same. My passion is to build really big hills. Mountainous hills! But in order to buy the land and shovels and shovel sharpening hones I need me some jing. So here is opportunity knocking, don’t say go away I am waiting for opportunity , bid and bid high because no matter the cost you got a bargain. I prefer non sequential bills, nothing larger than a $20. and well that’s it. Contact me if you want to carpe the opportunity of a lifetime! Otherwise go sit on the stool and wonder why you let your life go by without once trying to make it better for you and yourn. May the best person(s) win. JWW
PS: Yes I will subdivide.

40 Comments:

At 7:27 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Henry Miller

 
At 8:00 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

okay well it's time i upgraded my jungle. i have a whole bunch of twenties but as you probably already know i use those as part of my hygeniene routine.

So do you accept twenties if they are a bit rank and swarming with flies?

 
At 4:42 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: Well its been on the market for 12 hours and your is the first offer. I have been advised to wait anonther 36 hours for a better offer and if none appears I will accept your offer. By the way how many twenties do you think you have? JW

 
At 11:05 AM , Blogger Slutbag said...

i have some 20's, but i think we can work something out in trade...

 
At 11:12 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Dear slutbag, I was advised only to accept twenties since I can get a lot for trade with for a bunch of twenties. But thanks for the offer, this is quite exciting I aint never sold Indianapolis before.

 
At 12:32 PM , Blogger Phats said...

I hate Indiana so I won't be bidding sorry :) bah humbug!

 
At 12:54 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Phats: Help me sell this dreadful shit whole and I'll give you 1% of profits.

 
At 1:23 PM , Blogger Javier said...

The picture looks like a painting!
It's awesome!!

 
At 1:37 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

right ho josh, i checked in the longdrop. there's at least $200 in there, but firstly it's covered in shit and secondly they are Aussie dollars, which are nearly as valuable as Monopoly dollars.

If I am outbid let me and i will go mug the old lady next door. She's bound to be good for another $40 at least...

 
At 2:43 PM , Blogger Marcus said...

Josh and Roscoe, weather you’re cell mates or one of the same (I think it is the same guy) please refrain from posting your witty comments everywhere under anonymous or untraceable names. For a guy who claims to read and write real good I would think that you were intelligent enough to realize that your (both the mule and roscoe which happen to be identical) IP address is everywhere you place your wisdom. Weather I get into your blog or not is not important, what is however is that if you’re going to leave snide little comments, please have the intestinal fortitude to leave your true identity. Also, please remember this (the IP address) as you vote for your blogs several times a day. If you want to be on top just let everyone know, I am sure that they will let you.

 
At 3:21 PM , Blogger Calzone said...

yeah and stop calling my mom.

 
At 4:54 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

f javier: Thanks, I took it with a digital nikon poket camera. Almost all the pictures on my mule I used this thing. I have all the good 35MM Nikon stuff but the digital I just stick in my pocket and download onto the computer. Its kinda fun and thanks.

JJ:So far your in the your top bidder, in any case mug the old one just for kicks!You are so close to owning Indianapolis Indiana!

M: You are not permitted to take place in the bidding.

Calzone: Your the one who gave me her number. Kind Regards Anonymous

 
At 5:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really should upgrade from windows 98. Also, netscape is not the best browser to be using.

 
At 5:54 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Mike what would you suggest?

 
At 7:22 PM , Blogger ing said...

Josh, Josh, Josh. Do you have anything off the coast of Spain? Indiana is my second choice. How 'bout you import an ocean and lots of Spaniards. Then we can negotiate.

 
At 11:03 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Josh will i be able to import Indiana into Australia easily do you think? Is it very heavy? I must put it just south of Sydney so its an easy commute to the city. And that way you have plenty of space to build your new mountain.

See we are all winners in this except for Ing, who doesn't appear to have acquired Spain....

 
At 5:25 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Jane,ing Shipping is going to cost I would guess thousands of US dollars, plus it could take me years to box up and number the mountains for reassembly.(I called Spain they kept hanging up on me) It appears shipping is going to be a challenge, perhaps if you both fronted me some money and people I could train them in the shovel arts. Dig yer damn ocean! Build your mountain and then, hell I see a franchise in the making. Best we keep this under our hats so no one steals this gem of an idea. We can build a better world, on pitiful shovel full at a time. JW

 
At 7:02 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Josh,

Shipping Indy shouldn’t be a problem 1sst we acquire a bunch of barrels and use them for pontoons. Float the thing to Sydney. Then, Jane can fill a few barrels with soggy money and mail them back. We’re going to need a trailer to get the city to the coast. I’ll make some phone calls. As far as the build your mountain kit goes, I’ve got it patented. Let’s talk franchise.

 
At 8:00 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Ladies beware of this Roscoe character. He is like one of those sirens from mytholgy exept he lures woman folk onto his isle of darkness.I cant believe he scooped us on the franchise, I'll check into this do not give up hope.We can do this!

 
At 9:14 AM , Blogger kellywalters said...

Umm...

I dont have no money honey..

HOw about a trade?

 
At 9:27 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Josh sorry dude but after some thought my people have advised me to go with Roscoe. he just seems so much more professional, don't you agree?

 
At 9:47 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roxi: Since I had to say no to trade to slutbag I have set a president.
JJ: I'll get back to you after I have counted to 1,000. Provided I can remeber all the names of those
numbers.DONE! Beware of Roscoe, anyone whose best friend is a monkey and a drunk named Freak Show...I dunno~` I see red flags.

 
At 10:33 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

"Why can't we all just get along?"

 
At 11:34 AM , Blogger Phats said...

1% hmm, I dunno, that's not much josh make it 2% and I am in

 
At 12:12 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roscoe: I know why you want to get along, because you were bluffing about the damn franchise!
Phats:How about 1/2% I'm paying a whole clutch of the fuckers just to make this deal legit.

 
At 2:06 PM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Just trying to help on logistics not hog the sale. I figure a neat meet and greet with Jungle Jane on delivery - Maybe share a Koala / turkey sandwich she’s a cutie…

 
At 2:32 PM , Blogger Malicia said...

That she is

 
At 5:14 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roscoe: You dog!First you have a franchise offer then a meet and great? You sir are a number one hound, even I am surprised! I am sure JJ and malicia are wise to your trick so I will not warn them.You are one cool cookie! Colder than a well diggers ass! OK so why the expression colder than a well diggers ass? Glad you asked , cause in olden times when they dug wells by shovel (like I build my mountains) the poor well digger would bump his bum upon the cold dirt while he shoveled deep down, down into the place where water hides. So in fact his arse would become very cold.
Ladies beware of this Roscoe guy, he will sell you a diamond and give you a turd.No offense intended Roscoe, just trying to do the right thing.

 
At 10:50 PM , Blogger ing said...

I'll forget Spaindiana, then, if I can move to the outskirts of Sydney. As long as I can bring along a few Spaniards.

Jane: wouldn't you like a switch from those Aussie guys?

 
At 11:25 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

oh me and Malicia were just off to a turd party. we would have invited you roscoe but it's a girls only type thing. Ing's welcome to come too - you can have as many aussie blokes as you can carry in your handbag Ing. they are all utterly terrified of me...

 
At 2:28 AM , Blogger FFFrapgirl said...

Will I have to clean up all the leaves from those damn trees every fall?? If I buy it??

 
At 5:16 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Beware the conquistadors once met a number of Spanish cinema stars and those dudes, well you have seen conquistador armor in museums right? Well these little stars where no taller than a toilet rim!
JJ: What I meant to say was Roscoe would give you a turtle not a turd. I think Roscoe is terrified of turds. However I would consider an offer from you and ing. she can bring her little friends, you can bat them around and make them do things. I have about everything ironed out with the lawyers so we are coming very close to a deal.
candi: No raking, if fact I consider them natural humus, besides I planted mostly evergreens.You got twenties?

 
At 5:43 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Have fun, ladies

 
At 9:31 AM , Blogger Phats said...

Do i get my money upfront?

 
At 11:07 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Phats: Between you and Roscoe I may get out of the real estate business! There is a lot more entailed in this stuff than I first thought. To answer your question, no. Nice try and dont think about joining forces with Roscoe to steal this whole deal from me, as you know that would be unethical.

 
At 6:12 AM , Blogger Mike said...

Hey Josh, I just wanted to wish you the best over the holidays. See you next year.

 
At 7:58 AM , Blogger Phats said...

Hmm so what do you say roscoe lets clean him out! haha :) JK Josh us indiana folk must stick together

 
At 8:01 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

M: Thanks enjoy your holidays, I aint goin' nowhere.

 
At 8:16 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

P: You got it my man, I have a bonafide tycoon I'm working and if he gives me what we have been discussing, we will all be shitting in tall cotton!
Anyone who made an offer you will get a percentage as well to help you deal with your loss. JW

 
At 11:21 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Archived since I'm not touching you deleted last posts, these I save for my golden years. M standing for Marcus the black broken heart dude.



At 4:43 PM, M said...

Josh and Roscoe, weather you’re cell mates or one of the same (I think it is the same guy) please refrain from posting your witty comments everywhere under anonymous or untraceable names. For a guy who claims to read and write real good I would think that you were intelligent enough to realize that your (both the mule and roscoe which happen to be identical) IP address is everywhere you place your wisdom. Weather I get into your blog or not is not important, what is however is that if you’re going to leave snide little comments, please have the intestinal fortitude to leave your true identity. Also, please remember this (the IP address) as you vote for your blogs several times a day. If you want to be on top just let everyone know, I am sure that they will let you.

 

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