Monday, December 26, 2005

Der Skitter Monkey


I started this site around June 2005 when I read an article about how easy is was to set up a blog. The broad who was recounting this was some famous (I don’t know who she is) journalist and she created two blogs in one evening because she was tired of looking at Internet searches of herself and finding a very unflattering photo of herself from college. Her solution, which worked, was to create blogs about herself and post on them semi regularly so when people did an Internet search they would not find the photo, but her blog which had trumped the search engines. So I somehow remembered this blog service, set up a blog for myself without to much trouble.
I studied the blog and found a place to post errant thoughts that left on their own, could strike a communication's satellite and cause all sorts of trouble. Best I contain them in a small little area called a monitor. One thing I have discovered on my journey is I am not the only one in the world who is obsessed by simians, specifically the little bitty cute ones... Apes~` I could take them or leave them. So with this post I swear I am not copying other people taking photos of monkey dolls and creating personalities for them. In fact the monkey AKA "minki" has no personality...well maybe if monkeys were actuarys~` I worried about its social impotence then quit.
My girlfriend Lynn gave me the minki known as Skitter Monkey just because she knew I liked monkeys and all that they stood for and shit. ( whats a monkey post without skat) I seldom suggest she read my posts, no need to have her reminded of my cure for insomnia.
With this I took a quick picture of my skitter monkey sitting on a "covey" of books sandwiched between my monkeys reading bookends. Happy New Year

Post script: Note the :monkey playing a eucalale lamp in the background.

22 Comments:

At 6:20 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

josh we know you don't have a girlfriend. boys who collect cute stuffed toys aren't hetero dude.

 
At 9:57 PM , Blogger ing said...

Guys who collect cute stuffed toys their ladyfriends give them are extremeley hetero.

Though the bonobos swing with whateva.

 
At 5:01 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: The monkrebelia I had thus far collected was in fact a set of bookends and a ugly lamp, so hetero. The little stuffed one was the girlfriend gift and so there it goes...
ing: Yeah those crazy bonobos! But your correct about the cute stuffed ones that "ladyfriends" give them are "extrememley" hetero. I did tell her that I do not collect monkeys, and want all the world to know I do not collect monkeys. So as to avoid the birthday, Christmas lets give Josh a monkey he collects them cop out gift. I do not collect monkeys.
Interesting side note, Roscoe has the identical monkey lamp,(He bought one at the same time I bought mine, I told him about it and he thought it would fit his decour) I dont think he collects monkeys either.He also owns the leg lamp from Christmas Story. So one must wonder what Roscoes Decour consists of, a leg lamp, a monkey lamp and a beer fridge?

 
At 5:03 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

You have to click on "ing"s link to bonobo's tells you oddles about the little fuckers.

 
At 7:02 AM , Blogger kellywalters said...

you have monkey issues

 
At 7:25 AM , Blogger madman said...

Have a Happy New Year---and have fun playing with your monkey!

 
At 9:46 AM , Blogger Calzone said...

You fucking monkey copying bitch.

I'm going to ride wheelies all over your face

 
At 9:47 AM , Blogger Calzone said...

Oh shit sorry, I'm trying to withdraw off Klonopin cold turkey...I'm a little cranky

 
At 10:16 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Its true, JW and I have Monkey lamps. They came two to a crate. Yup the leg lamp is electric.

 
At 10:25 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Just come out and say it Josh - your girlfriend is a monkey. it's okay - you're safe with us.

 
At 10:37 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Roxie: Takes one to know one.
Madman: I like it when my monkey is bad, I spank it!
Calzone: Its all good.
Roscoe: High five on the monkey lamps!
JJ: My gal is so not a monkey and if she knew what you where saying she would though poop at you!

 
At 11:23 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

josh williams, why can't i quit you? i try to not think of you and then i read you and your monkey and i am not able to not think of spanking the monkey and then i think of you again. and again. and again. go see brokeback mountain, take your chick and your monkey if you wish BUT watch the movie and see if you don't better understand the love i have always professed for you ... billyboy

 
At 12:46 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know
what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."

 
At 5:23 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

are you saying that your monkey is an arsehole?

 
At 7:28 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: Don’t play tupid you know why I posted the joke. Which reminds me of why left handed people were once very discouraged from their instinct. Back in the olden days before I was born, the populace did not have access to Charmin. So as a matter of custom the left hand was left to the bathroom matters and the right hand was left for eating shaking hands, saluting and waving I suppose` Its an easy lesson, here is how I remember. Der left hand is for wiping der stanky. Just that easy. Kind Regards JWW

 
At 7:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

what did jungle jane say to the doctor when he informed her that she was pregnant?
"i hope it's not mine!"

brokeback and brokeheart billyboy

 
At 9:12 PM , Blogger ing said...

Josh:

If you ever get tired of that Roscoe kid, I thought you might like my good friend "josehavana". He's an Amazon reviewer, just like you, and I think you have tons in common. Oh, and could you ask him for me, please, if he'd return that Faulkner I loaned him?

(I thought your golfer joke was funny.)

 
At 3:12 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Hey, wait a minute! I read that.

 
At 4:19 AM , Blogger Willy Jo said...

jesus h crist yer a GD quar. were did you get that munky? are you tryin to harness the munky's powers? FYeye

you need to eet it to get it's powers and i dernt think you have the kahoonas

 
At 5:21 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

willy jo: My kohana's are so large that even when it comes to tell of them I have no need to lie. I will not eat my monkey, to many genetic similarities. Besides it does not kohana's to eat a monkey! However it does to crawl into a 10' x 10' cage naked with five wolverines a bear and a bucket of worms. You ever done that? I thought not.

 
At 10:21 AM , Blogger ing said...

Roscoe:

Psst, work with me here.

(conspiratorial wink)

 
At 11:34 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing/Roscoe: I could have sworn I posted a response with willys and now I have caught you two working again' me. Or are you both the same person? Man /Lady what in Gods world is goin' on? I'm creepin' mega big time! As I said ing earlier in the post that disappeared, the guy on Amazon is a fraud!

 

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