Monday, June 13, 2005

How to spell every last letter in the alphabet

Just in time for celebrating the 15 day anniversary
of "My Mule"(June 16) we posted a new spelling for
"H" it was suggested by Anonymous and I changed the
spelling.Rome was not built in a day, The OED was not
written in a day nor shall we have the letters all
spelled correctly but by God we are off to a good
start! This will also render your spell check obsolete
I reckon the software companies are going to jump
right on this idea, so be it....
lord knows they could use the money.
Thanks again Anonymous...I would also like to thank
the nice lady who answers to Nancy for her comment
and for being supportive...JW

Ok here goes all numbers have spellings, example 1 is
spelled one, 2 is spelled two and so on but letters
have no spelling which always leaves me feeling empty
if I want to mention a certain letter to a friend in
correspondence, for example:Dear Friend, I was
thinking of the L the other day...Ok L? what does that
mean? and should it not have a spelling, what has
become of our beloved English language? How many
letters can you spell? I thought so.Are we lazy
English speakers? Why don't we all write someone and
complain about needing a proper spelling for every
letter of the alphabet other wise we are going to
slowly slip into a degree of illiteracy that is just
dang stupid...................

Well, I was talking to my collaborator Roscoe and he
has prodded me with his help to come up with a
compressive guide to the proper spelling of the
english alphabet.Stay tuned...... Once we get over the
hurdle of "A" we should be able to complete and have
published within a certain amount of time.

Time pass's

Josh Williams
The correct spelling of our alphabet...First draft.
By Roscoe L and Josh W

Final edit by Josh W... Roscoe L I am sure will have
something to say about this...tough!
Ok we think we have "A" figured out its spelled "hay"
except the "h" and "y" are silent.
"B" is "bee".
"C" is "seagh"
"D" is "Dee".
"E" is "see" but remember the "s" is silent.
"F" is "eaf" this may or may not make since I will
leave that to the academics.
"G" is "ji". or goua (hard)
"H" is "
aitch". Confusing? But I am firm on this one.
I was firm until Anonymous
proposed a more accurate spelling. Thanks Anonymous!
"I" is "ahyee".
"J" is "jehyea".
"K" is "cay".
"L" is "el". As in diablo.
"M" is "em".
"N" is "en".
"O" is "oh". Easy enough.
"P" is "pee".
"Q" is "kyou". A little complicated but necessary, get
out of the boat if you don't like letters.
"R" is "aar". Sounds like a pirate in a hurry.
"S" is "es". As in (Me alphabet "es" su alphabet).
"T" is "tee".
"U" is "you".
"V" is "vee".
"W" is "dubbahyou".
"X" is "eccs".
"Y" is "wyh".
"Z" is "zee".
We believe this is the first step in making the english
language easier to understand, if we truly want to
preserve our culture then we have to take steps to
insure that history is written with letters from our
alphabet and they need a spelling . Yes we understand
we are going to need a lot more rules to the spelling
of our letters so we are open to suggestions,we do not
dot all our "ahyee's" We are to busy thinking outside of
the box.Please only constructive criticism we can
not mire ourselves down with useless debates about
progress and the hows and whys. Letters can no longer
go on with out proper spellings, why half the world is
laughing at us! Especially the illiterate!


At 3:58 AM , Blogger Nancy said...

Okay, this is weird. I came across your blog through David's in Texas... And just last week, my husband and I were having a discussion on how to pronounce and spell "W." He agreed with you guys... dubbeyou. But I thought it was DOUBLEYOU. Like double "u". Anyway, we do need to clear this up, for the sake of mankind.

At 9:39 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

I'm speachless, dumbfounded, just jaw droppin amazed!

At 11:50 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, i think that H is really spelt aitch .. for real :)

At 4:02 PM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

Dear Josh,
For 1 who is such a literary great, I can't for the life of me understand why you did not take into consideration all of the different sounds of the vowels in our alphabet system?? How can all the literary want to bees depending on you ever proceed in their great quest to learn? I am so disappointed!

At 4:03 PM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:04 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Whatever you are disappointed about is Roscoes doin'. I will discuss this with my colleague formally known as "esteemed colleague" and we will resolve this issue. Rest assured you will be proud once again.

At 7:37 PM , Blogger V said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:37 PM , Blogger V said...


I'd go with Nancy on the double you(w).

As for "f", how about 'aff' or 'eff', as in 'affect'?

And as for "z", 'zee' would be american. We, as in Indians who follow British English, pronounce it as 'zed'.

I don't think that anyone could come up with a comprehensive list of these for as G.Bernard Shaw stated with an example, fish can also be spelt as "ghoati"..('gh' from enough, 'o' from women and 'ati' from nation).

Good try though. Interesting.

..V :)

At 9:13 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

O! what a can of worms you have opened up now ! HA!!!!!

At 2:43 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

I was talking to Roscoe and he also made a good point about dialect... W ... in Texas...George Dubaya Bush...So my proposed solution is to centralize the dialect to Central Indiana (USA) where everyone speaks real good all the time.Plus that is where we live and that way we dont have to think to hard. Any input is welcome. JW

PS: Euphobia , this was a can of worms that needed to be opened, I have no regrets. Sooo..... What does euphorbia mean?

At 5:01 PM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

Put some research into it Wyatt, it will come to you.

At 5:59 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:23 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Euphorbia – Animal vegetable or mineral? A cactus, possibly.

Euphorbia, aware of our alphabetic deficiencies, JW declared this an open forum. Don’t scold us. Constructive criticism is more productive. You want vowels? Send vowels.

That’s the spirit “v”! I proclaim thee “Vee”, a friend compassionate to our folly. Vee and Nancy bring to our attention the variables of geographic dialects. In the States alone there might be dozens of “dubbahyous”.

Doubleyou – Nancy, from Philadelphia via Paris, Tennessee.
Dubya – Texas, Pres. George Dubya Bush.
Dubbahyou – central Indiana, USA
And more as Vee mentioned international variations.

We are benefited or victimized by where we live or at least by how we learn the language. Here in Indiana, some people “Worsh their clothes and play the pi-anee”. Others, “Wash clothes and play piano”. These examples address the language and don’t approach details of spelling the alphabet. This exploration will take time, like rebab programs.

At 4:13 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

Like Roscoe, Peter Macowan & Joseph Dalton Hooker were very very wise men.

At 7:47 AM , Blogger V said...

Ooh I get a new name, "Vee" can't I be "wee" or "whee" ;)..
Well yeah, we Indians have a plethora of pronounciations...Mainly 'cause we accentuate on different syllables...

I've changed my blogspot addy. As of now, it is..

Keep 'em comin'! Good luck! :)

At 6:51 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

I am very proud of all of you. Maybe if we did not have so many words in our language we could eliminate some letters making life and keyboard makers lives less complicated. How bouts lets figure out a bunch of words that we don't need! For instance I am ready to delete transmogrify from my vocabulary if it will help shorten the alphabet. I will carry a note book with me and try to write down words I think are frivolous and command to many letters.What say you? I am just trying to make life easier, throw stones if you will, but not at me...

At 3:30 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

I believe the world must have been a much simpler place when we only communicated in grunts and groans.This would also eliminate 18 of those dispicable letters.

At 4:34 AM , Blogger Susan said...

How do you spell a silent H?

At 5:18 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Both Euphorbia and Susan raise some interesting points. I'll have to consuilt Roscoe on the spelling of the silent "aitch"...Yes Euphy (can I call you Euphy?) life would have been simplier, grunts and groans, have you ever been to a Monster Truck show?

At 3:20 PM , Blogger Roscoe said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I received this correspondence.

I need your help link buddy. Nancy (Should be Susan. – Roscoe) has asked how to spell a silent H, I am at a loss. Euphorbia is wanting to eliminating all 18 letters of the alphabet and revert to grunts and groans. I'm treading water here! HELP! JW Link Buddy

I’ve noticed when you are confronted about this alphabet, its Roscoe’s doin’. Don’t bail out, hink about It. . .The alphabet spellings is written with the dominate hand. Therefore, the Silent H is written by the submissive. So if the author is right-hand dominate,, the left hand writes the Silent H. The reader notes the evident quality difference and assumes the muted letter. Ambidextrous scribes are ignored as anomalies of nature. Keep it SIMPLE

At 6:08 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

What Roscoe said. The whole dominate hand thing was my idea.

At 6:40 PM , Blogger Susan said...

Maybe you just type aitch in a very small font. white on white. Or use invisible ink.

At 6:47 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

White on white is good, invisible ink...good. Or you just through caution to the wind and say the proper spelling for the silent "aitch" is ....

At 4:21 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we should throw caution to the wind as well! The silent spelling for a silent "aitch" is ...Hold on the phones ringing,be back in two ticks.

At 7:46 PM , Blogger Susan said...

Well, not to stir up the pot and run, but I think the whole silent aitch thing is moot (or mute, perhaps - ha). After all, if you're silently spelling a silent aitch and no one is there to hear it, are you really spelling it?

At 3:19 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

We are working without grant money here, so all we have done so far has been on our time and at our own expense! I saw Anonymous had a spelling but had to go and will be back in two ticks, I am unsure how long two ticks are but I am willing to wait a tick longer. I will forward this to Roscoe and if he views the point mute then I will be willing to mute it as well.I rekon 3 mute votes equal a grunt of approval.

At 9:57 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

Here Hear for GRUNTS & GROANS!!!

At 9:22 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

I went to euphorbias blog and found zero content. I fear euphorbia may work for the man, tread lightly fellow posters, euphorbia could be big brother.

At 7:07 PM , Blogger Susan said...

In Euphy's defense (hope that's OK Euphy - I didn't hear any objection to the nickname, and there ARE fewer keystrokes), but what are you going on? Maybe Euphy just wants to be mysterious. That used to be a compelling quality before all the political paranoia. What of us who like to be concise? (I am unfortunately NOT doing that here, obviously.)Disclaimer - I mean no offense - got to disclaim due to nature and culture of typings/postings.

At 6:45 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Susan I visited your site and found very little content, are you a government spook as well? I feel more confident in my decision to become a scientologist.

At 5:32 PM , Blogger Susan said...

I'm not a government spook. There is more info than you had before!

At 3:57 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

I'll rest easy with this knowledge. Thanks Josh

At 5:41 PM , Blogger Susan said...

I'll even change my question - I am trying to cooperate!

At 5:53 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

I got you pegged now, your one of those enigma I'll be L Ron if I'm not!

At 6:42 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Testing one...two...?


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