Friday, June 03, 2005

Brother Cartmans Neverland

My brother hmmmm? Lets call him Cartman…. My brother Cartman had a run in with the law which caused me to loose my new enterprise to become the first and best X-Treme petting zoo’s in the contiguous United States. I had a facility of nearly 720 acres fenced and naturally landscaped meeting all the requirements our insurance companies required. I had more bizarre animals than you can shake a stick at, aquatic as well as terrestrial and I proudly say not one of them was something you would allow within 50 yards of a loved one. My business plan was tailored for the X-treme crowd and they like pain, danger, idiocy and such… I had it all! I had 5 Lynx, 17 Electric eels, 32 porcupines, 74 Sea Urchins, 1066 Piranha , 90 Ferrets, 45 Badgers, 50…yes 50 Wolverines, 2 Grizzly, 3 Black and 5 Brown bears a plethora of leaches …the list goes on, just a drop in the bucket but you get an idea of the diversity of beasts available at my X-Treme petting zoo made available by me to fill any freaks fantasy of brain damaged fun.
Cartman on the other hand decided to open against my advice a Heavy Petting Zoo named "Neverland Heavy Petting Zoo" . He had goats, Tapirs, sheep of course, miniature donkeys etc. I grow weary at the thought of his …sickness. Of course he was sued by the Jackson family for stealing their idea and as a result I lost all my credibly and my financing because I was kinda related to him.
I move onward cautiously and with some trepidation while Cartman still cavorts with his extra inventory of animals. Life aint fair and the petting zoo game is a thankless business….Plan B!


At 1:23 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Cartman sent me this web site, thanks Cartman...I guess.

New Babies are Here!

We are located in the heart of Texas, four miles south of Hearne. Our 30 acre ranch is located on a high ridge, overlooking beautiful, fertile cotton farmland and the Little Brazos River.

This is the perfect environment for raising healthy, happy "mini" donkeys. The property is bordered by woods for these special animals to play and exercise. Additionally, our fields have plush green grass for grazing. We raise these loving animals with great pleasure and pride. Thank you for visiting our website!

Now, let us give you something to crow about!

At 6:19 PM , Blogger josh williams said...


I believe I would rather ride a donkey than any beast in the world. He goes briskly, he puts on no airs, he is docile, though opinionated. Satan himself could not scare him, and he is convenient--very convenient. When you are tired riding you can rest your feet on the ground and let him gallop from under you.
- The Innocents Abroad


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