Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Pro-Reviewer

About me, hmmm. Gosh where do I start I am of above average heightwhich average height is 5’8' in Europe and 5’9' in the USA so I’m 5’10' and my friends all call me stilts. My weight is 12 stone, just right or so says my mom and a friend of hers, shes known since 4 years after she lost her virginity.I had a good friend when I was a kid, he was my size but much older, back then they were called midgets but today they are called little people. His name was Frankee Herman and boy did we have some good times at the beach! We would talk and walk on the beach dig up things, run from crabs and then go home. Frankee I was told by my brother recently was nine years my senior and became a preacher , you know as far as little people go he was a stand up midget! Years later I ran into what is called a dwarf on the school bus and my brother Charles Chadwick got me in a fight with him even though he was a farm dwarf and very powerful from years of baling hay, opening fences working on tractors and other various and sundry farm chores. Back then we were not prejudiced so the little people had to work just as hard as us norms. Anyway back to the fight, seems Smedley had a hat on and my brother thought it would be funny for me to take his hat off and yes it was I have to admit sidesplitting funny the first time, however after the third time and third warning Smedley stood up on the seat in front of me and started swinging! I will never forget the speed, grace and agility my brother displayed while he jumped over my lap across the bus aisle to the opposite seat all the time laughing. Well Smedley had me by two years and a small lifetime of farm labor but it ended up a tie. He had a bloody nose and lip and myself I had a bloody eye brow and nose. Anyway I’ve never met a little person that could fill the shoes of good old Frankee Herman. Its not that I dislike little people…just dont get me started!
Well back in those days I did more than fight little people, heck I was only 55 pounds in 6th grade.My dad promised me he would buy me a barbell set for Easter if I gained 5 pounds making it an even 60 pounds or as I prefer 4.29 stone. Well I ate more bacon sandwiches, banana milkshakes with raw eggs mixed in than any person since or before that time.I didnt gain a pound, but me mum and da got me the barbell set anyway, as well as the traditional'Feasting Pusee' (A plastic cat holding a knife and fork in front of a trash can,it was on wheels and you would push it around and its front paws would go up and down like it was hungry, pretty cool) and a 'Smoking Monkey' (a little plastic monkey that blew smoke rings). The monkey was new the cat was something I always got, I'd play with for a few days forget about it and they would regift it the next Easter. I tried Ebay but every time I did a Feasting Pusee search I'd end up at those pages that make me feel randy,so its lost to just my memories, I miss my pusee.I remember when my Da told us he gave a six pack to a guy that did dirt work for him to help build some jumps on our Moto-Cross course. I also remember thinking a few years ago he probably white lied a smidgen just to appease me Ma. This bulldozer guy built some nice jumps and a mighty fine mud/water hole for us to jump over. We caught a carp and put it in the mud/water hole. We think the thing died.I remember my sis Cait was awful fond of that pond, and still to this day maintains that we jumped over her on our motorcycles while she was playing in the pond.(She likes to call it a pond and I dont blame her I’d hate to tell people that I used to play in a mudhole with a dead carp) We of course never put her in any danger when we jumped the pond, the poor girl is just crazy.I aint never written a biography before so I think I’ll take a rest. Thats about it for now I never done this before. JW Visit Amazon for all my reviews and please contact me to donate to my paypal account

6 Comments:

At 6:07 AM , Blogger Whisper said...

All this and not one mention of a mule.

 
At 8:39 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Whisper makes me a little uncomfortable, a bit to fixated on mules. CREEPY!

 
At 10:35 AM , Blogger Whisper said...

Creepy, you want creepy? I'll give you creepy!
All day long, get behind the mule, plow work toil, get back behind the mule.
Summer winter spring and fall, all my days are spent behind the mule.
Over hill and dale, plow sycle sythe, day in day out, I'm behind my mule.
No wife no child just me and my mule. Alone together just me and my mule.

And you want to make a big joke of it? I do not think it is funny. blogger.com is supposed to be a serious site for serious thoughts, go back to Amazon and leave me and my mule alone.

 
At 12:44 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

As the great Tom Waits said "Ya gotta get behind the mule in the morning and plow".
So what do you stare at all day while your behind your mule?

 
At 6:49 AM , Blogger Euphorbia said...

Mu mules are a size 10, and I have them in blue, beige, black & brown. I just love my mules, they're so comfortable! Can't wait on the styles for fall!

 
At 2:19 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Euphorbia said...CRaZy TaLk!GeT a GrIp theERe eUphorBia! LOOOON!

 

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