Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I have an axe to grind



















While in Digby( by the Bay of Fundy) for my augmentation surgery I was contracted to build a boat dock. I love boats, boat docks/piers and the money that can be made off of people who are desperate for a pier. I also know my limitations. I called my buddy Roscoe, I knew he knew a woodsman by the name of Bunyan. Roscoe gave me Mr Bunyan's number and I gave him a jingle, he came with one stipulation, " I want to meet a busty woman from Halifax, thats all I ask...and maybe some flap jacks". So I made some more calls and then before I could say +&*% you, you piece of @#$%! Bunyan had the dock built, no shit just that fast. It took me about a month to come to an agreement with my clients and they paid me with hesitation, by payment I mean I was let out of jail after I built them some ladders to climb from their boats to their new pier. Bunyan I hear was last seen with a bakers dozen of the legendary buxom babes from Halifax cavorting by the sea at Peggys Cove.
I imagine Roscoe laughs, as does Bunyan. Scoundrels I say, every dog has its day and you two just gave me a pile of bones to pine for or my name is not JWW!

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Bay of Fundy











While I was on my way to the secret clinic just outside of Digby, Nova Scotia (New Scots) to have my ears and nose augmented I snapped a couple of photos at high and low tide on the Bay of Fundy. The photos were taken in New Brunswick at Hopewell Rocks. I reckon the first photo was taken at high tide and the lower photo was taken about 2 hours after low tide (give or take) . I stood on the beach and held up my thumb did some rough calculations in my head. I am guessing when I tell you it was about a 48' tide, I would be offended if you called me a liar. I visited The Bay of Fundy and all you got was this lousy post...Kind Regards JW

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Mac vs PC

While in Digby I discovered one of the best ideas for a PC yet...I may have to see what happens if I drink beer and post on My Mule or comment while visiting other sites, could be some damn good stuff comes from this...JW

Monday, August 21, 2006

International Data Base for Famous Monkeys

I was just talking to Roscoe yesterday and he told me about this cool site that listed A to Z famous monkeys, the list is deep but I did notice Romulus and Remus where missing. Also as I take the critics Diaz I think with a little time and work, more bio information links, photos and this will be "the" place to study famous monkeys.

MONKEY MULLIGAN'S HISTORY OF MONKEY

Click HERE to visit the index....

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Insomnia


A left my site recently and bought a dozen or so bean bag chairs and a nice little blogging outfit to wear when I am hanging loose in My Mule or visiting friends. I apologize for any embarrassment I may have caused, I am deeply troubled by what people must think of me From this day forward I will try to make my site more livable and I promise to wear cloths while online.Coffee anyone? Kind Regards JW

Mystic Dwarf News Flash!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Time For My Augmentation Experiment

I have been putting this off to long. I have booked a flight to an undisclosed airport and then will take ground transport and a ferry to remote Nose and Ear Augmentation clinic near Digby Nova Scotia.
My family and friends have battled me on this one but its time I do insist on doing something worthwhile for human kind and myself! My plans are to have my ears and nose augmented, I will soon look like Sean Connerys better looking younger brother except with enormous ears and a huge nose.
I plan on applying for a grant to travel the globe to study different cultures reaction to my dual facial accents, since the nose being in the center(ish) of the face is normally most noticeable I had them turn it up a notch on my ears, they will be about the size of a music CD and will be tweaked out a bit, this should trump the natural instinct to go for the eyes which is near the nose. Now my hypothesis is that different cultures will stare at my ears more and others my nose, I will collaborate with the National Geographic Society, the Royal Geographic Society among other well-respected Universities, think tanks and travel agents.
My findings will be published on the Internet via subscription for study with the human Genome project. This is all carefully planned and will prove to be ground breaking, now the next big challenge is to get the above societies and Universities etc. to call me back. I will check back in a week or so, I trust you all will keep and eye on my blob and treat it with the reverence it deserves.
Kind Regards
JWW

Sunday, August 06, 2006

World Enduro Champion

There's a reason David Knight is the Enduro World Champion...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

True Story....

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from

college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant

standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large

thorn deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his

hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant.