Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Time For My Augmentation Experiment

I have been putting this off to long. I have booked a flight to an undisclosed airport and then will take ground transport and a ferry to remote Nose and Ear Augmentation clinic near Digby Nova Scotia.
My family and friends have battled me on this one but its time I do insist on doing something worthwhile for human kind and myself! My plans are to have my ears and nose augmented, I will soon look like Sean Connerys better looking younger brother except with enormous ears and a huge nose.
I plan on applying for a grant to travel the globe to study different cultures reaction to my dual facial accents, since the nose being in the center(ish) of the face is normally most noticeable I had them turn it up a notch on my ears, they will be about the size of a music CD and will be tweaked out a bit, this should trump the natural instinct to go for the eyes which is near the nose. Now my hypothesis is that different cultures will stare at my ears more and others my nose, I will collaborate with the National Geographic Society, the Royal Geographic Society among other well-respected Universities, think tanks and travel agents.
My findings will be published on the Internet via subscription for study with the human Genome project. This is all carefully planned and will prove to be ground breaking, now the next big challenge is to get the above societies and Universities etc. to call me back. I will check back in a week or so, I trust you all will keep and eye on my blob and treat it with the reverence it deserves.
Kind Regards


At 2:03 PM , Blogger Phats said...

Surely you're going to blog your whole experience correct? Can't wait to see how it turns out good luck haha

At 3:10 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Phats: Thanks I'd be fibbin' if I told you I was not a little scairt. But I need to overcome this fear and pursue what I believe could lead to the ultimate truth. I leave on the marrow.

At 3:59 AM , Blogger Toby said...

Where is all the extra skin comming from?

At 7:41 AM , Blogger Phats said...

Ya what toby mcguire said

So, how is the experiment coming along? Any chance when you're done with this one you can move all of us in the state of Indiana to a warm weather climate?

At 9:53 AM , Blogger Mone said...

I'll be your bodygard on your worldtraveling tour, just to make sure nothing happens to you, ok?
I hope there are enough grands to pay for two tickets, LOL.

At 3:43 AM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

I am laughing too hard at the graphic to care about your miserable honker and ears, Williams.

Stop effing around. Do something for chrissake.


At 7:03 PM , Blogger ing said...

Are they going to slip in a little work on your adenoids, to fix that log-sawing problem of yours'n?

At 4:09 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toby: Chinese prisoners.

Phats: I'll front you some cash for the great migration but I don't think Baora Bora is quite ready for the great state of Indiana.

Mone:Your hired,do you know anything about fundraising? As for as body guard I will find a nose and ear guard more helful. I plan on traveling in disguise.

Erin: I am I am! I just don't know what? Hey back!

ing:I don't have hemroids and if I did I don't think their removal would help my fictitious log sawing.Just back from a long weird trip so its time to take my meds and turn on Jerry Springer. I do have another theory that I would like to test. I do not believe diet and exercise has anthing to do with weight issues I have a theory that daytime TV triggers some sort of chemical in your brain telling your center of gravity to retain fat cells, or something like that I'm still working this one through my head.

At 7:03 PM , Blogger ing said...

Your head, you say?

Your "fictitious" log-sawing is causing a "fictitious" rift in the earth's mantle. For the sake of all that is holy, would you mind giving me the name and number of your surgeon? We have a thing or two to discuss. It's all for your own good, and for the good of the planet, too.


At 1:05 AM , Blogger ~d said...

Can I say Good Riddance? I know I can say GOOD LUCK!


At 9:42 AM , Blogger Roxi said...

I'd lick em both

At 1:17 PM , Blogger Toby said...

I see, the emaciated "olive" complex is what you're after.

At 3:59 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing ing ing ing... What are we going to do with you? I'm all for planet saving but my surgeon's number? I'll get back with you, she's kinda private you know.

~d (tilde): Why thankee!

Roxi: Bravo!

toby:Is there any other?

At 5:41 PM , Blogger ~d said...

A-ha! I am just mosying thru NOW...Dunt-da-DAH!

At 7:08 PM , Blogger Phats said...

I am bored what's next


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