Time For My Augmentation Experiment

I have been putting this off to long. I have booked a flight to an undisclosed airport and then will take ground transport and a ferry to remote Nose and Ear Augmentation clinic near Digby Nova Scotia.
My family and friends have battled me on this one but its time I do insist on doing something worthwhile for human kind and myself! My plans are to have my ears and nose augmented, I will soon look like Sean Connerys better looking younger brother except with enormous ears and a huge nose.
I plan on applying for a grant to travel the globe to study different cultures reaction to my dual facial accents, since the nose being in the center(ish) of the face is normally most noticeable I had them turn it up a notch on my ears, they will be about the size of a music CD and will be tweaked out a bit, this should trump the natural instinct to go for the eyes which is near the nose. Now my hypothesis is that different cultures will stare at my ears more and others my nose, I will collaborate with the National Geographic Society, the Royal Geographic Society among other well-respected Universities, think tanks and travel agents.
My findings will be published on the Internet via subscription for study with the human Genome project. This is all carefully planned and will prove to be ground breaking, now the next big challenge is to get the above societies and Universities etc. to call me back. I will check back in a week or so, I trust you all will keep and eye on my blob and treat it with the reverence it deserves.
Kind Regards
JWW