Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sailing, help needed for tips on sailing.

I have more than one alias, one of them being Bailer. I write a small note every month to remind our members about being honest and stuff. I ask for help, this is a few days before deadline and please if you have any ideas to make the post better or make me appear smart, offer the adivce. Humility is one of my strong points.I am not kidding , deadline snuck up on me and I am not even sure I added enough puctuation. Not that this has stopped me in the past.Suggestions? I am open, it is for the good of the club, a selfless act. We are good people so if you offer advice, understand there will be no monetary reward. This is all I have to say, until deadline. My Best and Happy Holidays. JW





Jan 08 Bailers Tips

What to do during the deep of winter? I have learned from experience that it is not a good time to be a live aboard and also not a good time to reread Jack London’s “White Fang” …The club is quite and the wolves are hungry.
I’ve been dabbling with earth friendly inventions. One of which has turned out pretty good so far; it is a fiberglass-burning stove. Heat is a must if you live aboard a boat on Eagle Ocean during the dark cold winter, so I had the friendly harbor master point out a few boats that had caused trouble throughout the year, trouble like making fun of me for one but in addition well never mind, making fun of me pretty much tops the list. So if you visit the club and your boat is partially missing, keep in mind that it is a lesson to you to treat others, as you would like to be treated. Take pride that your boat is part of a grand experiment in how to burn fiberglass as an alternative fuel.
I walk the docks like it is a ghost marina, I gather my fuel and I work on my stove. I have discovered that if you put your sails up while tied to a dock the energy can be harnessed and compressed, forcing oxygen into your fiberglass furnace. The use of old linens, socks, tighty whiteys etc are a great pollution filter. I am seeking a reasonable means of disposing of these filters. They were a danger to begin with but are a further danger after having 26 feet of fiberglass filtered through them. My project is not perfect, but I always have next year to work on the problem. So follow some guidelines and your boat shall be safe from the pursuit of knowledge.

1: Watch the ice on the ramp, it is as slick as ice.
2: Pay your dues on time or you will be paying your dues in dry dock.
3: Thank the members who help, thank the commodore, the harbormaster every board member, thank everyone for our club. Always remember a thankless job gains the reputation of not being important.
4: Say hey to all your sailing kin, because a rude sailor rates just below a rusty old turd.
5: Read Telltales it will help keep you out of trouble.
6: Remember the chair parties, bring a chair, it is time to live while we can and laugh with our friends. Chair parties are hip again, they were out of style for a couple of years but now is the time to seize the day and bond with you friends.
7: Make friends at our club, what a great idea, sailing and talking about sailing, relaxing in your state of the art portable comfy chair, bond with your friends old and new, this is not a tip it is sound advice.

Sail on Sail on

Bailer

18 Comments:

At 7:15 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Makes me want to pay dues to a club I don't even belong to or get to visit.
Strong work Bailer.
Mom

 
At 6:58 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

1) I think you meant, "quiet"

2) White Fang should be italicized instead of quotation, because it is a novel. I would put a semi-colon after White Fang and not capitalize, "the."

3) I would put a dash between "Earth-friendly."

4) Between "far" and "It" should be a full colon, and if it was me I would capitalize "It."

5) No comma between "others" and "as." This might be construed as a "comma splice."

6) Semi-colon between "marina" and "I," as they are conjoined but separate sentences.

7) I would say, "tighty whities, etc.,"

8) Semi-colon after "Thank the members who help; thank..." and semi-colons between all the stuff you should thank, because these are imperative sentences (commands.)

9) The sentence, "Always remember a thankless job has the reputation of being unimportant," is kind of awkward.

I think you should say, "Always remember a thankless job has the imputation of being unimportant."

10) I would assume "Tattletales" is a periodical and therefore it should be in quotation marks.

11) Say, "Hey!" to all your sailors...

12) Remember the chair parties: bring...

13) Make friends at your club: What a great idea!

14) Sail on. Sail on.

15) Other than that, I would double carriage return between the paragraphs and between the ordinal instructions, because people like a lot of white space--for some reason.

....but pretty good!!

 
At 8:56 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Zen, you made me smile, I don't dare ask your help on any of my articles. There is not enough time in the day....
Mom

 
At 1:50 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilets: thanks.


Zen: I wrote a newsletter about twenty years ago on legal size paper, in this letter I offered a prize for the person who could find the most punctuation or grammatical errors. I had a few entrants then a married couple who both worked as professional proof readers.They found over 100 errors, even in the address label.They one the prize that minute. You have repeated history. I will follow your advice, I would like to the shock in the face of the person who edits the newsletter I can hear her now "Josh didn't write this shit it's written good?"

 
At 5:06 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Zen: Upon reveiw my sign off yes improperly punctuated but a referance to The Beach Boys, not a big fan but I did like this song. "Sail On, Sailor" was the final song recorded for the 1973 Beach Boys album Holland...The chorus keeps singing sail on sail on sailor, I cleverly substituted Bailer and there you have it! Now how should I punctuate Sail on Sail on Bailer?

 
At 6:30 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Then close it, "Sail on, Sailor. Sail on..."

I like the song but I must admit I did not get the reference.

Your nautical friends will probably get the reference, but I have learned to not assume that people get a literary reference; you have to beat them over the head with it.

 
At 6:33 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Oh, yeah: and as I noted on my blog, the next time I do this I am going to just Cut & Paste and type it up.

 
At 8:08 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Zen: As the old Beach Boys song goes,
Sail on, Sail on, Bailer...

 
At 3:31 PM , Blogger Toby said...

The hooks for the ropes on the poles at your slip... ARE DANGEROUS! They enjoy reaching out to grab onto your arm pit. Sometimes they'll even drop you in the lake. On a good day.

Don't wear a vest. Don't see Conan the Barbarian before you go sailing.

Happy everything Josh!!!

 
At 4:13 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toby: Captain Quint of the USS Indianapolis advised the same, no life vests. However so many boaters die from peeing off the back of their boat, falling in and in their drunken stupor forget to not breathe water.As for boat hooks, mine have little plastic safety guards which protect your clavicle from being hooked and taken advantage of, in a barbaric sort of way.
As for Bluewater sailing your rules are good, but my advice is to pee and a cup and pour it over the side otherwise you could end up in the Indian ocean adrift with out even a full bladder to keep you company.
Happy everything to you as well and thank you for the input. JW

 
At 12:27 PM , Blogger Gledwood said...

Hi
I've been sailing once or twice...
... the phrase I most remember is "boom coming over!"
... does that mean anything to you?
Or are you more a motorboat kinda guy...??

;->...

Here's wishing you a Merry One
and a
Fantastic New Year!!

from
Gledwood
"vol 2"...

 
At 4:24 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

gled: When the boom moves unexpectedly it’s called a jibe and yes you should duck. I am better at off road bikes than sailing which is not saying much. Yes you have a great holiday as well, I feel moved to say cheers! JW

 
At 4:26 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

gled: motorboat...Not motorbike, I am both. I have a motor on my sailboat an truth be told I probably use it more than the sails, doldrums are not an issue.

 
At 5:00 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

After watching you at the Vegas Endurocross, I figure you need a sail on your motorbike!
Laughing Mom

 
At 5:29 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilets: pog it.

 
At 1:46 PM , Blogger EBEZP said...

A very Happy Christmas to you and yours Josh

 
At 9:22 PM , Blogger Lee Ann said...

Have a very Merry Christmas Josh!
~xo
Lee Ann

 
At 4:02 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ebezp: Peace Trails JW

lee ann: Peace Trails JW

 

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