Monday, April 14, 2008

Riding My Motorbike Within a Hairs Breath of Nude's

Sunday April 13th 2008
District 14,15, 16, & 17

Well I just returned from an the annual Sand Goblin Enduro hosted by the Grand Kankakee Trail Riders in Roselawn Indiana which is an area known for its nudists colonies…This has nothing to do with the story, the summer race is when we are arrowed through the colony and it really makes you question why some of these people just don’t put their cloths back on, but this again is another story.
It has been a very wet spring, the ground is saturated the temperature reached a high of 40 and most people expected the worst…Wrong, the corn fields we crossed to trail sections were a nightmare. If you could just keep up your momentum and if you have any luck you will glide across the deep mud. The trails however were absolutely perfect! I had new tires, new packing for my pipe, clean cloths food in my belly etc. It was just a mild drizzle when we left on minute two.
I had a great ride, relatively speaking, I did not fall barely bobbled and only killed it in a transition corn field. I pulled the plug which was white and part of it burnt off, then I put in a fresh plug with all my fingers and toes crossed and nothing; my bike was toast…I was within 100 yards of the road and a gentleman named Andy came riding up on a four wheeler and offered me a tow, I said “please.” He tied on and the rope snapped, so he went to find a new tow rope, I waited for awhile began to feel a chill so I pushed the bike until I felt like I was going to break a sweat and then waited etc. Finally Andy showed up with a tow strap and we made it to the road and headed back to base camp and then the rope broke again. Then after a retie we made it back…Great day despite blowing up my machine. I met up with two friends Jamie, corn field tragedy, and that grabber fella another victim.
Soon Frank Haines along with Jan Werner showed up for a gas stop. I pointed at my head to show I was OK and they gassed up and headed out, Jan had only crashed four times so far and Frank only went over his bars once on the enduro cross section…We all shook hands and went our respective ways. Who won? I don’t know it wasn’t me. So that’s my race report if I find out any further results and if I remember I will post them but for me this is all I need to know.



At 3:57 AM , Blogger Mone said...

We have a really wet spring over here too and even as I LOVE motorbikes I sure could think of something better to do by 40 degrees. I guess I've just become a Sissy, hahahaha.

"The evidence of heroism is not in winning a battle, but in bearing a defeat."


At 8:34 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

It would have been hard to make an argument for nude motorcycling even before the invention of air conditioning, but NOW--I mean, I would like to see even the late, great William F. Buckley try to debate that position.

At 9:06 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

mone: Hey, thanks I like the heroism quote, it truly applies!

zen:W F Buckley's vocabulary always made me cry.

At 2:26 PM , Blogger Cléa said...

I remember the first time I accidentally stumbled across a nude beach. I still haven't recovered. Nothing glamorous about that!

At 8:35 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

One great thing about a nude beach is that it pisses off Osama bin Laden.

I am sure there is something else good about a nude beach...I just can't think of it...

There are obviously three types of women on a nude beach (in my limited experience):

1) Impossibly hot strippers on vacation trying to get an even tan. (To state the obvious, you don't stand a chance in hell...)

2) Women who saw the hot strippers taking off their top and decided it was a "good idea." (It wasn't...) You stand a chance in hell. If you succeed, it will be hell...

3) Married French women on vacation with their husband. (Moot point whether you stand a chance in hell or not. Bangable--but that is also a moot point...except I guess to their husband...)

Like I said, though, anything that pisses bin Laden off is good.

Like a ham sandwich on San Francisco sourdough with extra mayo...

Or some sodium pentothal and a rubber hose to the kidneys...

(Just kidding on that last one...)


I just thought of another thing good about a nude beach: You can strike up a conversation with a slightly-hotter-than-average-Mary Lou-from-next-door about how you, "both wondered onto the nude beach--and isn't it interesting from a sociological perspective. Oh? You MAJORED in Sociology at Kansas State? Who would have guessed it? Blah, blah, blah..."

You stand a chance in hell...

At 3:42 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Not a single mention of a simian. Josh, you disappoint me.

At 4:19 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

clea: I was on the trail a few years ago during a race and I my brother had run out of gas, so I rode up a creek bed to a trash can and fished out a can to drain gas into to transfer to my brothers tank. During my can diving a couple of old vinyl seated golf carts pulled up with big naked people covered with dust and sweat.The one who looked just like Santa kept hailing me to come over and chat, I declined.Even at 40 I was troubled by the thought of Santa sweaty, dust covered and nude riding around seeking conversation, or at least he did not have any cloths on, the daddy parts were hidden by a wealth of food.

zen:I have been to nude beach's and am not impressed, never have been.As a nudist will tell you,"there is nothing ugly about the human body". I feel compelled to respond. "I beg to differ"! Hell I don't even take nude photos of myself! However if you want to walk around a beach or woods naked, thats fine with me,it's just people naked, we all end up bone naked in the end...Not a hang up, but for crying out loud if I am riding my bike on a trail surrounded by trees (that do not move if hit by a person on a moto-bike) then well never mind... I have seen my fair share of nudists and it really doesn't bother me, I just don't want to sit on the same chair they recently vacated.

toby: Simian is always implied.

At 12:20 AM , Blogger Mone said...

I was just talking about Marx, now I wonder if he was a nudist? I'll google!

Have a great weekend Josh!


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