Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Self Tagulation

Well it has been a few days since I posted. I have been busy working, not for myself but to help generate tax revenue for Uncle Sam. I am going to do a little something different and tag myself (maybe not so different) and reveal several things I did not know about myself. Feel free to tag yourself, here or elsewhere just keep in mind it is more fun if you are brutally honest about yourself. So I will start with number one and then end when the phone rings.

1: I did not know until just a few short minutes ago that I was going to tag myself.

2: I have know idea what I don't know about myself but like the challenge.

3: I do not know what photo I will use to illustrate this post.

4: Why will the phone not ring? I did not know I would be thinking this...

5: I did know I would run out of ideas about things I do not know about myself but I just do not know when the phone will save me?

6: I am probably impossibly handsome.

7: I did not know that I was going to call my home phone on my cell phone...

Gotta go the phone is ringing.

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At 3:12 PM , Blogger Simon Sterwin said...

1. I am struggling, as if I don't know it, how can I write it?
2. Self-tagulation is like peeling an onion.
3. I am now ready for the onion tears.
4. I am a philosopher.
5. Which means that I know that a tomato is a fruit, but I know not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.

At 3:50 PM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

The lengths you will go to achieve a self-fulfilling prophecy is commendable, if not deeply weird.

At 6:09 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

simon: I have never forgiven the tomato for its stubborn commitment to confuse those unlucky few, who do not know their place. A tomato is a tomato is a rose. Or some such nonsense.

helen: Given my druthers, I prefer the commendable part to the deeply weird. However attention is nice and for this I thank you...Always use commendable before deeply weird while conversing with the future in-laws.I offer this advice I gleaned from your comment, to myself.

At 7:12 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Tag! I'm it!!!

1. I am not a mom.
2. I am not a woman.
3. My phone did not ring, but it beeped and I had a message.
4. My brother is an idiot.
5. I am not a fruit, but I do like tomatoes.


At 7:41 PM , Blogger Cléa said...

1. I like the title of your post.
2. I hope your job involves the phone or this might become an obsession.
3. Now I'm wondering what your cell phone ring tone says about you.
4. Sorry, gotta go...phone call. Wrong number.

At 8:36 PM , Blogger Mone said...

I do not know what the picture is supossed to mean, some guys trying to break free of income taxes? hahaha.

At 9:54 PM , Blogger Miladysa said...

Luckily you made it to the phone before it went on to answerphone...


At 3:56 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilets: Like anyone is going to believe your telling the truth.

clea: Thanks, my ring tone just kinda beeps with the vibrate option as well. No fancy ring tone just stock, however if I were brave it would belch out the worst profanity imaginable.

mone: The Royal Society of Planks meet twice a day to worship the wooden plank.

miladysa: Yep, close one, for all of us,by the grace of the plank we were spared.

At 6:34 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Things I did not know about myself:

1) On March 3, 2008, my socks did not match;

2) Betty Jean in accounting wants to have my child;

3) That guy I saw in the elevator last week has taken ten years to complete his novel;

4) I wear too much cologne;

5) The frequent "female" Commenter on my blog that I unabashedly flirt with is really a hairy Teamster;

6) My critique of the callowness of Barack Obama's resume' and his attendance record in the Senate is really veiled racism;

7) I left $64.57 in a passboook savings account at Huntington Bank in Columbus, Ohio in 1981.

8) With daily compounding, it is now worth $212.95;

9) The serpentine fan belt on my 1991 Skylark was not really cracked and the mechanic just replaced it to pad my bill;

10) If I had not walked in on Mary Lou shagging another dude in Los Angeles in 1987; her and her bratty kid would have driven me batshit by now, and I would have served a dime in San Quentin for double homicide;

11) It really annoys people when I point out that a tomato is really a fruit--because nobody gives a rat's ass and that little vine that the tomato grows on may technically be a "tree," but it is the wussiest d@mned tree they have ever seen;

11) People in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico don't perceive that their town's name is unusual and they would really wish that I would quit dwelling on the name of their town, incessantly, in polite dinner conversation.

12) I repeated "11" twice in the "Stuff I don't know about myself" ordinal sequence above;

13) So I don't know that there are really 14 things I don't know about myself and I think there are only 13.

At 11:07 AM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

I love the way the three gentleman are studying the board.

"Yup, that's good wood," the decide.

And the silvered haird gent in the back doing the "hi Mom" wave; he looks like a Yeti.

At 11:23 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: I would not fret over 12 or 13 even one thing you do not know about yourself is a big step towards self discovery.

helen: Yes the revered board, it is in my spare bedroom, I am the official keeper of the plank.I think yeti has the spirit of the plank or some spirits in his blood, either way he is happy.

At 12:19 PM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Thing I do know about myself:

1) I would be paying attention to the important stuff on the board, whatever it is, because the other guys are paying attention and so it must be important;

2) I would not be waving "Hi Mom" to a Japanese tourist or anyone else with a camera; because I am focused on the important $H!t on the board;

3) The picture of the board board is a total non sequitur and should not be listed in a "tag" about things you don't know about yourself;

4) While I am on the subject, "Tagg" is a really cruel name to name your kid, but I will probably vote for Mitt Romney if he is on the VP ticket anyway;

5) However, Tagg probably endured relentless ridicule on the third grade monkey bars, debatably building a fortitude of character that might serve him in these, his adult years.

6) Oh, wait--you "Tagg" a baseball player with a catcher's "MITT"--okay, now I get it, but that is still one weird name to name your kid.

At 12:27 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: The board remains. What is on the board? I know.
As for tag, what about skin tags, name your child skintag and he will suffer.
In my opinion you should never ever name a child Skintag.

At 2:28 PM , Blogger Toby said...

I did not know a few minutes ago I'd be here.

A link I'm sure Josh and Jillie will enjoy.

At 3:38 AM , Blogger Mone said...

I did not know ten minutes ago that this one dude on the pic has a fat wallet in his pants.

I did not know that I dont care about what is in his wallet.

I did not know that I have a crush on john.

I did not know that my beer is all gone. FS.

I did not know that I will make Berlin unsecure on the weekend.

I do know that I wish you a happy easter =)

At 5:54 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

If you name your kid "Toetagg," the specter of death will follow your kid throughout his life, like in an Ingmar Bergman movie.

Toetagg Wizard--my first born--will live each day like it's his last; cherishing every mortal breath and savoring every moment.

It will be rough during third grade recess--but Toetagg will hunt me down and thank me--like in "A Boy Named Sue."

At 1:53 PM , Blogger zen wizard said...

If you were as good at getting young hot chicks to take off their tops for the camera as you are at getting old white guys to wave at the camera, you could really give "Girls Gone Wild!" a run for their money.

At 4:24 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: It is funny I did think of A Boy Named Sue when I presented the skin tag concept. Toetag would make a child stronger as the song suggests, but I am just not sure if I would not tire of yelling out the back door "Toetag, suppers on the table".
Boy did I miss the bus on the whole girls gone wild money. I do however have a photo documentary of the infield of the Indianapolis 500 from over a five year period with the last photo taken about 22 years ago, so it is almost ready for the library of congress. I have not looked at it in years but it has always been a crowd pleaser. I had something of a W.Eugene Smith influence in my younger days.


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