Bonobos Eunuchs and Mole People

Well after countless hours of watching digital recordings of milk duds being flushed (via remote, triggered by Roscoe) down identical toilets under identical lighting in identical water..zzzzz Well I decided to hire twenty Bonobo Chimpanzees to watch the recordings for me, report their findings and I could finally work on getting some badly needed rest.
Well this turned out to be a bad idea, whenever the Bonobos saw the milk dud dropped into the toilet they went crazy and started a scat fight, much like a food fight just post digestion. So all my monitors are covered with Bonobo scat ruined cause I aint cleaning the things. I’ll set them around my house to scare away prowlers. The only conclusions I have drawn is that you flush enough toilets at the same time around the circumference of the globe and you piss off the mole people, remember I did not push the button. As for the flushing from what I saw, no clear conclusions and after the Bonobo debacle, nothing is clear at all.
I took the Bonobo’s on a little helicopter trip out to our cruise ship which the woman were still seething cause I had stuck them on this luxury cruise ship with two hundred handsome Eunuchs. I figured the little minkees would cheer them up and I would be rid of them.
My best intentions that would benefit everyone, were soon dashed and turned to ruin when I got a distress signal from Jungle Roxi and ing. It seems that one of the woman had come up with the idea of transplanting the two little engines of the daddy glands from the bonobos to the Eunuchs and finally "gettin’ some". They all signed donor cards I heard over the scatchy radio, I started to reply but decided not to. Donor cards are usually for the deceased and everyone knows monkeys cant read let alone sign a donor card.
It seems that transplants went all to well, the Eunuchs were hyper active and there was much rejoicing, but finally the woman had enough, "we just want our fat ole lazy slobs back" I heard through the radio. Apparently the head Eunuch, Fletcher was tired of the woman playing coy and threw them in a life boat and set them adrift, "no put out now get out"! Was what he is reported to have said, as the poor women drifted with few provisions. Only a mile from Tahiti, they motored ashore and their radio signal was coming from a tiki hut on the beach as they drank fufu drinks and laughed at their good fortune at my expense.
Ladies you laugh but you also told them where Mole Island is and now we have twenty former Eunuchs with bonobo testicles steering straight for Mole Island to have a little party with the mole people. Will they reproduce? Will we have some sort of hybrid mole/ bonobo /human master race to contend with? Drink your boat drinks ladies I’ll take care of everything. Remember I am not the one who pushed the button! I think its time "Mom! I blogged the toilet" tok a mor proactive role for the cause! Mole Island is 50 nautical miles 3% degrees NNW of Skull island, we need to do something, someone stand up to the plate, I did not push the button! Help me! Help human kind before we are overrun with a bunch of randy monkey moles.
From the desk of
Reformed Serious Scientists JW