Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Thoughts From the Road

I recently visited the coast of North Carolina to drive my mom’s car home to Indy. My folks (mom and dad) sold their house and are moving back to Indy, so I flew out hung around for a couple of days and then drove mums car home so she and her husband (my dad) could ride home together. I made the drive in 12hrs 50 minutes a total of 880 miles, average speed 69 miles per hour.
While I was on the road I listened to a few new CD’s I brought these particular CD’s because I had purchased them and had not taken the time to plug them into my own music machine, forced diversity. I will learn to like new things whether I like it or not. I also thought about things, I really did not come to any real conclusions or have any revelations, the entire trip!
I was speaking with a colleague today and through a curious tangential conversation we both discovered we could not figure out how Dennis Rodman grew from a shorty pants 5'10" in High School to a 6'6" NBA star. Was it Human Growth Hormone? I could have probably figured this out already if I had known to think about it on my 880 mile drive home.
I do not even watch sports but this I feel is an important question and I think we need to open a round table discussion. After all civilization is based on good communication and so is problem solving. Lets put our heads together and solve this little brainteaser. Thank you in advance for participating. Or if you do not feel like participating thank you for reading this entire post. JW


At 3:19 PM , Blogger zen wizard said...

If in fact Dennis the Menace was juicin' on HGH, I don't know if my history serves me well, but I think he woulda been one of the first juicers--like right after it was invented.

(It should be noted that HGH from corpses instead of synthetic HGH may have been a factor in Lyle Alzado's death, but I don't think anyone knows; it is all a bunch of speculative BS.)

I just am highly suspicious of--what I heard originally was 5'6" in HS and 6'7" in college. I have never heard of that happening in NATURE before.

I am not saying that this would be Evidence in a court of law--and anyway, who gives a fuck about a SEMI-RETIRED athlete, when there are so many successful PLAYING athletes making millions of dollars that we can drag down to our miserable level??

I must admit, I am a full-grown adult and I took the shit (HGH) when it was legal--I think that was about five years ago.

Damn, mix a cocktail of that and androstenidione, and even though I was 45 I was ready to pillage Outer Mongolia every day.

Combined with a workout regimen, I have never been in better shape, and I was a real jock in HS. I was also the biggest prick I have ever met. And this is counting all the pricks I met in LA in the Eighties. I was like one of those Walking Dickhead Demons in The Devil in Miss Jones.

Those were the days....now I am a middle-aged fat bastard.

But like every nutritional supplement, the FDA only lets it go on so long, then they find a way to make you have to go to an AMA doctor and bribe him to get it.

In its defense, HGH is not ALL bad--combined with other methods, if a kid looks like he might become a dwarf, it can make him into something more approaching normalcy--like a really short dude.

And people who say the knee-jerk, "Well, Lyle Alzado..." are full of shit, as I mentioned, since he had HGH extracted from corpses. You can't really compare that to SYNTHETIC.

I question also if for non-athletes 'roids are necessarily a BAD THING. This is my premise: Social Security will be shot, as we know it, in the next decade. Baby Boomers haven't saved SHIT--notwithstanding those Newsweek features about the small percentage you see out buying Harleys and yachts and shit.

That means Gramps will be working as a bellman, waiter, parking valet, etc.

And those jobs are hard as fuck when you are 21--let alone, 61.

So we might need to juice up the Baby Boom, is what I'm saying.

Hey--it beats making them into Soylent Green.

At 3:47 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: Now I did not realize they gathered the stuff from corpses, did they kill them first or were they killed in the process?
This is the year pf the boomers, this is when the tidal wave begins.
If we give them HGH and they draw SS and take a job that is lower in stress in turn lower paying this will take away jobs from the young and lazy.
Back to the original question, so whats wrong with Soylent Green?

At 5:02 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Tangential or is it εφαπτόμενος.

I'm somewhat fluent in Greek too.

Take my foot, eat it, but you will never eat my soul. It's tough even when grilled.

At 5:24 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Graduating high school, that's it! Thanks Sleek, you answered a life long question, why am I happy living in my mothers basement? Because I didn't graduate high school!
I'd better get to work on my GED, wonder if it will make me grow 13 inches?
Well if it did I could reduce my 8 foot radius down to about 22 inches, you listening Erin?
Ignatius rocks, he is charming and honest, you could sure call me worse things.
Oh thanks again for the comment moderating thing, I feel safe here again, but it does take some of the flow out of my witty comments.

At 5:30 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toby: Thats some mighty fine Greek, reminds of the classic Greek sailor song Hate to leave my buddy's behind.

Ignatious: I think you are reducing the radius only because you do not have a tape measure but a yard stick.Always picking the low hanging fruit, open your pocket book and buy another yard stick, tape the two together, this will open all sorts of doors for you, trust me.

At 5:34 PM , Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I heard Dennis on Howard Stern, and he said that he has "broken" his penis while having sex on two separate occasions. So, he must be hung like a moose. The reason I bring this up to purpose the theory that maybe his penis grew first, and then the rest of his body had to catch up.

At 5:42 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

I use my libary card to open doors, and my yard stick to flip dog turds over the fence, my neighbor doesn't even have a dog. Heeeee

At 6:35 PM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

Somewhere between 5'10" and 6'6" is when he was obviously abducted by aliens.

I never though Rodman was of this planet.

At 4:05 AM , Blogger Mone said...

All the sportstars taking some kind of drug, doesnt matter in what part of the world they are living, my opinion!

That is a lovely picture you put with that post, it makes me painfully longing for the faraway...


At 5:14 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilets: 101 and one use's for a yard stick.

Helen: He claims he is not of this planet but he does not remind me of any sketch's from Rosewell.

Mone: Thanks, the Atalanic facing south.

What I think is that we choose one player from each position in the NBA and then clone them, clone them all, raise them in identical environment’s, on some sort of clone farm. Then when they come of age, start CNBA which will create an environment where it is pure couching that is at test since all the players are identical with an identical background. I am not sure if we should give the players different names because one name might be cooler than another. For instance if you take two cloned centers and name one Bob and the other Shitforbrains, I think the latter will have lower self-esteem thus effecting his game. More later I have research calling.

At 6:29 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

What's wrong with "in the movie" soylent green is you have suicide parlors where the geezers go to buy it, then you puree' them and eat them.

It is my understanding--and I am surprised that nobody has wrote a book about this shit--but Alzado got HGH from corpses that were already dead because synthetic HGH had not been invented/developed yet.

I would assume he would have had to go to someplace like Mexico or Cuba to do that.

Castro's Cuba is infamous for dealing in illicit corpses.

If someone has died for a reason that is totally unrelated to "parts extraction." I don't see a MORAL problem vis-a-vis the corpse, as long as the corpse is treated in a way that would not offend the family.

But Alzado died for whatever reason--and heaven knows what he was mixing the stuff with--so there might be a chance that "natural" HGH is dangerous--but it became a moot point when they developed synthetic. I mean nobody outside of Transylvania would "prefer" natural HGH.

At 10:17 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: They were making people into food! Thats sick! I have been on ebay most of the afternoon looking for corpes, no can find nor the synthetic stuffm HGH not synthetic corpses, although I have watched a special on some pretty realistic companions on one of those HBO shows.

At 11:17 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Good one, helen mansfield.

Some things you don't want to buy used. I would include along with the target of this link mattresses, shoes, oil filters, and handguns from someone you have seen on the post office wall.


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