Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Infinite Monkey Theory Revisited Part One






The idea of creating an infinite number of monkeys, I think the Bonobo would be the best choice because it does not have fat fingers and would not fat finger the keyboard, but it is not my place to choose, in fact I think we need to stop this project dead in its tracks, let me explain why.
First of all I apologize for dwelling on this, I must purge my mind of the worry, I cannot eat sleep or muster the energy to walk around all self important and stuff. Rest assured any candidate running for office on the Infinite Bonobo platform does not get my vote, again let me expalin.
Where do we get an infinite number of Bonobos? I do not think we need to test the theory that if you gave an infinite number of Bonobos and infinite number of typewriters that eventually they at least one would type the entire Library of Alexandria , in fact eventually all the Bonobos would reproduce all books written and unwritten, all emails all blogs everything ever recorded or to be recorded. A form of time travel if you will. My concern is that what in the hell are we going to do with an infinite number of monkeys! Where do we get and infinite number of typewriters, consider out of an infinite number you will get a fair share of super genius monkeys who will eventually take over the world and eliminate their closest cousin, me! What would happen?and it would one of these genius monkeys figured out how to not only count to infinity but count to infinity +1! You gather all our best scientists, genealogists, philanthropists, phrenologists, realtors, and politicians in short the greatest minds of the planet and each and every one of them would quake in fear at the mere thought of infinity +1…Besides who wants to be stepping over monkeys clicking away at their typewriters scattered all over you living room you bathroom every nook and cranny, Ha! Monkey 94,994,330,928,334 just typed “Henderson the Rain King” backwards! Once they started pounding out the classics front and backwards their egos would grow, they would start dressing the part and demand an infinite number of silly bow ties…In other words lets just forget about the entire idea..The End

23 Comments:

At 10:48 AM , Blogger ~d said...

3.14159

Would you like some pi?

 
At 11:00 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

~d as long as it is r squared.Thanks JWW

 
At 3:11 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

I have published a rebuttal to your rejection of the Infinite Monkey Theory on my blog.

 
At 5:34 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Sombrero11: I have a deep respect for your lame theory which was not based upon science but upon a deep seeded fear of the real an absolute truth. In other words, you are good people.Please visit Sombrero11 site, he may be wrong but by God he is wrong in the best way. Kind Regards JW

 
At 6:43 PM , Blogger ing said...

Yes, let's forget the idea in its inception, as I forsee an unmanageable number of monkeys, several of whom will retype things that have already have been typed, and for what reason? I'm not basing this on scientific theory, but on a woman's intuition (i.e. sound reasoning): we will, by process of elimination (not of the excremental kind), wind up with a replica of something that has already been produced, and the replica will have been produced unintentionally. Which, don't thought and intention count?

Besides which, if we're using Bonobos, we'll not only have a crowd, but a copulating crowd that will crowd the crowd.

Let's shoot for peace in the Middle East. Perhaps that is more likely than replication, and more hopeful in the long run.

 
At 3:50 AM , Blogger Barnes said...

It's quantum, dude.

Quantum. Kwon-Tem.

The bonobo is both dead and alive, infinite and finite.
He is eating a banana. Which is not a banana. Which he is also not eating.

Sleep the peace of a genius, brother.

 
At 12:39 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

My theory is not base on pure science, no... But it is based on psuedo-science, which is, for my money, the best variety of science.

 
At 12:41 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

Well, it's also partially based on ethanol... Ethanol and pseudo-science. Those are the cornerstones of my life.

 
At 5:53 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: You have brought me calm...Thanks

barnes: I knew you would understand.

sombrero11: you have sound cornerstones, wisdom.

 
At 5:14 AM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Mr. Williams,

Instead of playing with your monkey, I advise you to consider that prime numbers are effing infinite.

I have one helluva time coming up with any that are higher than say, 37. But those effers go on forever!

That is some REAL infinite, Mr. I'm too-sexy-for-my-cool-laying-in-the- desert-contemplating-a-weird-thing motorcycle picture man.

Do you read me?

I am unsure if you realize how much courage it takes to visit these pages.

I am off to forage and pray.

 
At 8:49 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Erin: I see no danger or romance diddling around with prime numbers. Consider the infinite monkey theory and you have extreme science!Thanks you for your support.

 
At 4:31 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Not only can they type, but they use spears. It's only a matter of time before we are the subhumans.

 
At 5:09 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

testing...

 
At 5:14 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toby: the link did not work, so...shite the super non subhumanes have begun the chase!Dog be with me, I hope to save you all...JW arrrrghhh! more later, lord willin'

 
At 5:50 PM , Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

You're doing the lord's work over here, Josh.

I don't care what that mexican hat freak thinks.

 
At 3:12 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

friends: Just back from a rumble in the jungle with some pretty damn smart monkeys, I prevailed (with the help of the Lord) this time...Thanks, I am but one man but if we all join forces we can be more than one man, we can be a bunch of men and women....hmmm can you say partee!As for sombrero11 he's alright he just likes a good debate based upon good old fashion science, mathmatics and monkeys.

 
At 3:39 AM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Pass me the beer, please Cornelius. And is that the Statue of Liberty's crown you're sitting on.

Help.

 
At 4:27 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Erin: clearly you have made the best of the situation, the Planet of Ininite Monkeys is kinda of a weird place to vacation.

 
At 6:51 AM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

The banana daquaris are great, but you'll never get the monkey stink out of your clothes...

 
At 12:01 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Sorry, I'm only a monkey, I was born in the year of the monkey after all.

Hopefully this will work.

Sight in your rifle, lock and load, they're coming for us.

 
At 12:16 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

S11: Talk about monkey smell,do not let them talk you into a scat daquari they are so smooth and make it sound so good, but gawd it tasted like poop!

toby: Toby what the hell do we do?!!!

 
At 12:50 PM , Blogger Toby said...

I don't know, but maybe I have an in being born in the year of the monkey. Maybe I can talk to them.

For some odd reason it reminds me of the movie The White Dawn. No matter what, at the end, the guy was eaten. Resistance is futile say the borg.

 
At 5:47 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toby: Do not give up, futile as it may seem help is just a scats throw away...

 

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