Monday, February 12, 2007

Improve Your Mind With Booze

I have a theory as to why alcohol makes you smarter, if used responsibly. Here goes, your brains synopsis are constantly firing electrical charges which dictate to your body what it must do and what your brain must think , so says your brain. If you add a little alcohol (flammable) this creates rapid combustion and more efficient thinking however since the average human head does not have a muffler its brain suggests it to talk allot in order to try to expel the emissions from the alcohol burning in your brain, this is a woefully inadequate method to rid your brain of carbon monoxide. With out a muffler your brain fills with carbon monoxide which can slur your speech , fog your thinking and ultimately make you real sleepy. Using alcohol to make yourself smarter is a delicate balance, a dance like ballet but much different, I guess... I do not not that much about ballet. Cheers JW

23 Comments:

At 4:29 PM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

OK.

Now 'splain why I am so damn funny when iz been smokin' da reefah.

And why am I the greatest philosophical mind that has ever roamed the earth when I've slipped that little tab of paper under my tongue?

Hmmm?

 
At 4:32 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

I will but first I need to poor myself a drink...

 
At 12:41 AM , Blogger Mone said...

I know exactly what you are talking about...

 
At 3:45 AM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

you real smart mister and got good information buts I'se already new most of this and practiced it propper form any year.

 
At 5:05 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

mone: Nuff said.

Erin: Yes I can see it has left you razor sharp!

 
At 2:48 PM , Blogger damnsle said...

Though your science is faulty and your chemistry is suspect, your drunken stumbling about made me realize: What you are saying is TRUE. All my nights of debauchery now make perfect sense to me, in a falling down, puking, blurry eyed, sort of way.

 
At 4:23 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

Ah yes, I have learned many a valuable life lesson as a result of going out drinking. A night of drinking teaches, on average, 74% more lessons than a quiet evening at home.

 
At 3:24 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

damsle: "science is faulty and your chemistry is suspect" ??? If I would have given the real data I have compiled, you would have labled a pedantic bore. So I explained my science and chemistry in lamens terms,if you would like a copy of my entire well documented, double even triple blind studies, half sections of my mind on the booze etc. I am sure it is around here somewhere.

S11:I ran the same number and came up with almost the identical results. I am empressed by your work are you a science expert too?

 
At 4:30 AM , Blogger Mone said...

Happy Valentines Day, Sweetie ♥♥♥

 
At 4:52 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

mone: Ditto my sweet.♥♥♥

 
At 12:55 PM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

Happy Valentine's Day Cousin Josh!

[noogie]

 
At 1:33 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Helen: I ♥ noogies thanks and Happy V day to you and noogies...

 
At 4:32 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

I would not call myself a science expert Josh, but I do dabble a bit. I know just enough to be dangerous. If I had business cards they would say "Jack of all trades, expert of none."

 
At 2:59 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Sombrero 11:Thats funny allot of people have told me if I had a business card it would say Jacker...Sometimes people like to play tricks on me but they seem sincere. I may make some business cards reading just so, no other information just Jacker, if they want to find me they will. Thanks for your support, next project I'm working on I may seek your counsul.

 
At 8:57 AM , Blogger Barnes said...

Brother Josh, your theories are like silk. Smooth and expensive. Thank you sir.

Yes, I am Winters. Peace.

 
At 10:29 AM , Blogger Slimeface said...

Great theory Josh! According to a recent MSDS (Material safety data sheet) flammable liquids have different flash points and fire points. I think finding the balance in your theory lies more in the type (quality) of booze than in the quanity one consumes. For instance injesting the active catalyst via Crown Royal™ opposed to a lesser but equal amount of alcohol such as an inexpensive red wine can alter one's IQ significantly and even more so the day after.

 
At 3:38 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Synapsis are not synapsing the right way.

 
At 5:57 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Barnes: Welcome back.

Slimeface:All good points...This was of course a theory which given time will be improved upon or disproven this one did not last to long before it was picked apart like a dead fish in an aquarium.

toby: I feel your pain, try applying booze liberally.

 
At 11:15 AM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

This liquor glass is starting to look lonely. No more goes in, none comes out.

Perhaps it needs a garnish. Or a cheerful umbrella?

 
At 1:00 PM , Blogger Toby said...

after my second visit it appears to be some sort of Rorschach test. We all can't possibly be drinking absinth at the same time.

 
At 3:32 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

helen: Booze is a lonley drug.

Toby: the green fairy is peering at your from the glass.

 
At 2:45 PM , Blogger Toby said...

I saw that yesterday. I even made an attempt to photoshop some eyeballs to it, but I wasn't feeling very artistic. Because it appears to be the same on the left as it is on the right, the Rorschach test thing came to mind and was easier. Call it a cop out. BTW, I had to look up Rorschach, there is no way I knew how to spell that sobeer, drunken, out of my brain on the 5:15 or anywhere inbetween.

 
At 6:31 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toby: the photo was taken in my kitchen by a friend who added the face, how I have not asked him, I need to....in fact I am going to email him right now...

 

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