I'm Dumber Than the Headlines

I’ve not been feeling so hot, so I went to my doctor, Dre I think is his last name...
Well the Doc and I met and he ran some tests did the cough trick and the finger trick licked his fingers then he finally sat down and said your as “healthy a horse” with your bad habits it was at first difficult to determine how you could escape all the modern day plagues. Then it dawned on me your dumber than the headlines! I said what? He continued, lets say a cold virus gets it grimy little mitts on your immune system, soon it grows bored and looks for another host that does not put it to sleep.What is even more amazing is even cancer cells seem to fall off you from sheer boredom. We counted a sample of your blood cells and 90 % were asleep some even snoring? (something I’ve never seen before). Fortunately your brain does not need much oxygen. In short you’re to stupid to host a malady of any type, you should be happy. I said I was not other than he would not be wanting any of my stupid money. He said yes and make it cash...





Well I must contradict the doctor I have played host to four different guest Blogs. I know my real despondency is born from depression, look what they did to my blog, study the picture, this is what’s left of My Mule after I turned it over to the Four Horsemen/wo of the apocalypse! Erin O’brien (wo), Friends of McDougal, Roscoe and finally Mom, the Toilets Blogged. These bastards are all teamed against me! Roscoe and McDougal have signed some sort of peace accord and are buying a Riverboat Casino to raise funds for his campaign. Erin, is working hard at her newspaper telling water cooler jokes at my expense about My Mule. Toliet is running around with Bunyan, going to the Walmart spending my stolen jing not to mention the other fun dates, all until my cash runs out. I have know idea who the guys in the photo are but they throw rocks at me whenever I approach, they look as if they are from Lebanon but who knows? Its going to take days maybe weeks to get this thing cleaned up and running grammatically correct again. Thanks Doc, thanks Four Horsemen/wo and you guys with the water pipe get the hell out my blog, or start rebuilding.
I host guests and everything turns to shit, its kinda like Ben Franklin said “Guest are like fish, after a few days they both begin to stink” or something like that. Maybe I am dumber than the Headlines…JW