Friday, February 17, 2006

Flood Hits Eire, My People!


I am part Irish, please donate to the cause. For every dollar sent , I am that much closer to the pint of no pain.
My charity will accept cash check and paypal.
Thank you in advance.

Josh Kelley McNellis W Williams

34 Comments:

At 10:18 PM , Blogger ing said...

Hey, is that Guinness they're standing in? Just get a long straw, Josh, and enjoy!

Pogue mahone, McWilliams my friend,

 
At 3:52 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

inf: I think its what happens after you drink Guinness, ya get lazee ya see, then ya start pee'in your trousers, next thing ya know there comes a flood. Pog mo thion' ta ya as well!

 
At 6:15 AM , Blogger ing said...

Okay, skip the straw and get yourself some rubber pants.

Hey, Josh, why are the Irish such good storytellers?

 
At 7:08 AM , Blogger madman said...

I sent a 12 pack! So--I gave at the office.

 
At 7:58 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: I don't know to get to the other side?

MM: Thanks.

 
At 2:19 PM , Blogger Bloodgood said...

Reminds me of a poem

"Two dirty Irish men diggin in a ditch, one called the other a dirty son of a....Beaver sittin on a log, around came a Bee and stuck hime in the.....cocktail 5 cents a glass"

It keeps goin but Im tired of typing
Have you heard it?

 
At 5:28 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

HANG ON! this could be a cheap ruse designed to get me to part with my money!

Josh i am not saying you are a con man or anything - you know i love you like a brother man - but how do i know that this isn't just a bunch of guys who have all had their ankles and feet amputated??

 
At 5:33 PM , Blogger Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.....T'be a good point Janey brings up .........what if they are all connected under the water.....part of a giant sea monster....set to trick us by offerin us a tasty drink??............

 
At 8:46 PM , Blogger matty said...

Did I take that picture?

 
At 9:02 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Blood: Sung to the tune of pastys and a G string.

JJ: Nope, thems real leggers.

Action: Naw , but what a great idea. Next time.

Matt: Nope, you were off on some sort of St James Gate Danger tour.

 
At 11:11 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

i'm with Cappy. Show me the toes or you don't get the cash...

 
At 6:45 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: Trust me now hand over the jing!

 
At 10:06 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

okay then Josh. you know i trust you. Here, have my entire life savings...i now only have enough money left for one week of food for the cats...

 
At 10:20 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: Find your self a cane toad and cook em up!

 
At 4:26 PM , Blogger Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.....looks like you'll be havin ta bring the Cats and yerself ta live on the Capts boat Janey.......dont worry, maybe the cats can catch some fish......isnt funny how cats like fish but hate water........how did they ever get to do a taste test...........

 
At 7:35 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Cap:Thanks for the lodging, I think
I'll just drink some coffee and see how long I can live on coffee ,Guinness and no sleep. As for cats, I'm allergic as you well know and they love fish just because thats their nature. A peculiar lot the cat family.

 
At 7:42 PM , Blogger Phats said...

Hmm If I write you a check will you give me a 20 min head start before you cash it?

 
At 7:58 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Phats: No problemo, su cash es me cash

 
At 9:16 PM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

I hold the delusional belief that if I ever get to Ireland, all I will have to do is introduce myself to the gentlemen and, by virtue of my name alone, they will fall to my feet.

Yeah, right.

 
At 10:00 PM , Blogger ing said...

I could live on Guinness and coffee. The sleep, I could forgo. But Josh, you sleep enough for the whole of Ireland, yet you snore for every race and creed and species and genus. Do they make a spatula that will turn you over? Because I'm starting to hallucinate from the pure deprivation of it all.

I don't mean to frighten you here, but I thought I should pass this along to you for the good of Ireland. Or if not, then I thought it would be hugely adorable if we played this at our wedding as I stroll down the aisle swigging a Boddington's and griping about having to wear the ring -- that is, until Beck comes sweeping in to steal me away.

xo,

 
At 10:59 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

i don't want to be a bridemaid if i have to stand in heaps of muddy water. please come to australia to get married. its civilised here...

 
At 11:14 PM , Blogger matty said...

Oh, yeah! I forgot all about the St James Gate Danger tour. I think that was the one where I danced in the cage. That was a rough gig, but I hope the money earned helped the effort!

I was thinking, now that we have JANE TV (which totally rocks) -- you could start an online station to send out transmissions and the like.

Or, is there just too much beer on the floor?

 
At 3:05 AM , Blogger crabcake said...

Ah, the Irish. They're a bunch of cons, they are. Send your dough to me. I am half Scott. We are not cons. Just too cheap to pay for our own liquer, hence the need for bagpipes. A few minutes of blowin on that thing and anybody will cough up some cash to shut you down.

 
At 5:59 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Erin: Go you will not be disappointed.Go now before they go PC on us and start getting in that bad habit of not binge drinking.

ing: I'll have to break into the freak that lives next to me leaves for work I'll break into his casa and listen to the song.As for Beck I hear he is nearly 7 ft. tall and 300 lbs and all muscle, trained in all forms of figting tecniques, to nay, I will not and never will be a bully.

JJ: Jane your going to Eire. Now would you please sing Oh Danny Boy for us all, I am sure we will all cry. Funny thing is the lyrics were written by an English Barister, thousands of other lyrics are out there for the same music but his where the only lyrics that stuck. So grace us with a warble.

Matt: Thanks Dude! You want me to broadcast? If thats what you mean, it might be tough cause my neighbor works from home alot.

CC: Do you know Sean Connery, and if so did he admit to haveing plastic surgery to look like me? The jack off hired me as a accent couch and he mimicked my every move, still does. What did he pay, nuthin but a half eaten plate of Hagis in the fridge, and some young lady named Pussy Galore. She was good people, I let her crash here for awhile. Tell Sean he owes me money.

 
At 9:06 AM , Blogger ing said...

While you're in at the neighbor's, would you mind doing my online income taxes for me? I can't be bothered. Also, see if he has any ice cream in the fridge. I'm a little hung over and ice cream sounds just right.

Beck is a lover, not a fighter -- gentle and dreamy and kind. He has a vegetable garden, you know.

 
At 9:15 AM , Blogger ing said...

Josh, I picked my dress. We are going to look so smashing, walking down the aisle. All of Australia will fall to their knees, weeping with gratitude.

 
At 11:30 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

Ing the dress rocks. um but about the bridesmaid dress you picked out for me...um can we talk?

Josh i will sing at the reception. yes i will. but can you talk to your wife about my outfit? please?

 
At 12:20 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Sure send more your SS# W2 1099's and your mothers maiden name all your charge cards, your checking account routing numbers for starters. THe dress is your all you!

JJ: Your going to sing, you gotta glam it up baby, that dress is very glam. Trust me. I dont know much about your tax system but would be happy to help you do financial stuff so send me all the info I aske ing for and I can help you out I'm sure.

 
At 12:23 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

The priest in a small Irish village loved the
rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind
the church. But one Saturday night the cock went
missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in
the village so he started to question his parishioners
in church the next morning. During Mass, he asked the
congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men
stood up. "No, no," he said, "That wasn't what I
meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood
up. "No, no," he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has
anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half
the women stood up. "No, no," he said, "That wasn't
what I meant. Has anybody seen my
cock? All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and
a goat stood up.

 
At 4:46 PM , Blogger jungle jane said...

well okay then - if you are both certain the frock suits me, i will wear it. please confirm that Roscoe (who i assume is Best Man) will also be wearing one of those frocks?

 
At 5:03 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: I talked to Roscoe today on the Ameche and his computer is down. I will take the liberty to speak for him. He would love to wear the frock.In fact I could not get the guy to shut up about shiny frocks and singing with you, he really wants to sing a duet with you...Well like I said I am speaking for him he may have "the other" side of his story when his computer is back in tip top, or when the drugs wear off...Which will come first? JW

 
At 10:25 PM , Blogger ing said...

Jane, I chose that bridesmaid's dress for you because LooK at what it'll do for your tetas! Plus, I thought a funerary air would give the event a nice Mardi Gras tinge. Life is a cabaret, you know.

And Josh, why did you have to go mentioning Roscoe at a time like this? I almost forgot that I have a huge crush on Roscoe and that I'm just using you in hopes that Roscoe will change his mind about me! And then at our wedding, me and Roscoe and me in my Mahogany dress, Beck will swing through on a long vine, grab me around the waist, and we'll swing out the chapel doors in slow motion while my beautiful silk Mahogany dress flows out behind me like a Carter-era rainbow of liberation.

 
At 4:52 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: The ole nussle up to Joshie to get at Roscoe who is a gateway to Beck routine. This is not the first time a broad has tried this on me, shame! Woman, hang your head in shame and bathe you "Carter-era rainbow of liberation" dress with tears of shame.
Me poor little heart has been broken once again. I'm going to start eating McDOnalds everyday so my heart grows big like Lance Armsrongs thne I'm going to become a world class athlete, bigger than Lance and then all of you heartbreakers will be the heartbroken. I am a changed man! I do admit that really is a nice dress, and Janes Hoo Ha lets have a look at her tetas in that shroud!

 
At 9:54 AM , Blogger ing said...

Your heart is much bigger than Lancie's Josh. I'm sorry I used you so callously. My heart is a hard little lump of coal. I will reform. As long as I still get Beck at the end of all this.

 

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