Monday, October 30, 2006

Ferries Theys the Worst

Being a well respected captain of the high seas, a teller of tall tales of short ships, or was that short tales of tall ships…I can’t remember but let me tell there is one ship that I do not wish to Captain. With great reluctance I am surprised that I even boarded this car ferry . I snapped a few photos and then spent the rest of the crossing, hiding in the life boat which I had cut loose, dropped it into the see and had it tethered off the back of the ferry some 200 yards, the crew I imagine thought I was a fisherman fishing in the wash from the engines, but no it was Captain JW cowering in the wake of one of the most dangerous forms of transportation on the high seas!
Kind Regards JW


At 6:39 AM , Blogger Me said...

You ever seen that movie Cabin Boy?
I couldnt help but to think of that.

At 6:43 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Boastick:What real man has not seen Cabin Boy...Yep I seen it.

At 6:02 PM , Blogger Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

Maybe I wrote this maybe I didindt...But I did it for you boss, its the holidays.

I plugged 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
and a Black Crow snuck through
a hole in the sky
so I spent all my buttons on an
old pack mule
and I made me a ladder from
a pawn shop marimba
and I leaned it up against
a dandelion tree

And I filled me a sachel
full of old pig corn
and I beat me a billy
from an old French horn
and I kicked that mule
to the top of the tree
and I blew me a hole
'bout the size of a kickdrum
and I cut me a switch
from a long branch elbow

I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
whittle you into kindlin'
Black Crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

Well I slept in the holler
of a dry creek bed
and I tore out the buckets
from a red Corvette, tore out the buckets from a red Corvette
Lionel and Dave and the Butcher made three
you got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree
with the strings of a Washburn
stretched like a clothes line
you know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Repeat Chorus

Now I hold him prisoner
in a Washburn jail
that stapped on the back
of my old kick mule
strapped it on the back of my old kick mule
I bang on the strings just
to drive him crazy
I strum it loud just to rattle his cage
strum it loud just to rattle his cage

Repeat Chorus

At 6:14 PM , Blogger Cheryl said...

oh...that shadowy figure was you?

At 7:44 PM , Blogger matty said...

Commander Josh -- You must take care on the high seas. Many plans have yet to be completed!

...I get sea sick on piers.

It can be a problem.

At 4:01 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Paul: I told you never ever blatently plagerize, but thanks for the thought.

Cheryl: I was not a shadowy figure I swear,DNA me I swear.

matt: As you well guess I was forced to take the ferry for research purposes, we will not have you in pier duty, you will best serve the alphabetical movement traveling with Goldfrap.
You will soon be approached by a man with a hook and peg leg while you are sipping coffee with ing at a local coffee shop, Bird will be playing in the background and this weathered man from the Merchant Marine will hand you each letters of intoduction to the band members, a large sum of cash will be in each envelope. Do not tell each other the amount this is to be kept secret until further notice, it will all become clear soon enough. Thanks in advance for the cause. JW

At 5:18 AM , Blogger Zen Wizard said...

I like that new invention they made to avoid a ferry: It's called, "a bridge."

I was going to say a gay joke about the Golden Gate Bridge, but I have some pride in my smartass Commenting ability, and that is just too easy...

At 5:57 AM , Blogger TICTAC said...

Hiya Captain JW!!!
no guorry 'bout spellin nor spells...funny comment, thank you for passing by...
I believe you, as a well respected passenger I harbor your same fears about car ferries...and would share a place in the same life boat!


At 10:13 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Zen: Tell me of this bridge idea...

TicTac: Yes, bring wine and cheese, beer and tater chips. May as well make it a party.

At 11:02 AM , Blogger ing said...

Commander Josh does not "cower"; he hunkers down.

I was thinking -- how about if Mr. Sammy delivers two envelopes with letters, etc in one, and the cash in the other. I will safeguard the cash and make sure that at the end the secret amount is equally distributed.

By the way, how much did Alison Goldfrapp settle for in order to complete her vital part in this mission?

At 11:32 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Your right, hunker down another typo on my part. Yes grab the envelope with the money, and practice saying "trust me". Alison is providing the money in the envelope(s) she really believes in the cause.

At 2:25 PM , Blogger Zen Wizard said...

Now I forgot--It was something about "you don't need a ferry across the San Francisco Bay because there will be fairies when you get there," or something...

At 3:37 PM , Blogger Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:38 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: Un PC as that is I still musterd a chortle.

At 2:45 AM , Blogger Winters said...

Ah, quite the seadog!

Did you splice the mainbrace?

At 3:50 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Winters: Only before and after battle. YOu would be surprised to find in my lexicon battle can have a thousand definitions and growing, so yes I "spliced the main brace" indeed I did, gotta go battle ahead!

At 4:02 AM , Blogger Mone said...

You would have felt more comfortable if you'd taken some girls on board :)

At 4:15 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

mone: Into the life boat they would go and we would drift 300 yards aft. drinking wine , beer , absinthe, bottled water and Mr Pibb. Not to mention room enough for a nice game of twister.

At 10:22 AM , Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Hello Mulester Josh! My mule ate what I gave him to carry on his bag.

Thankyou for your commentxxx Loved the piece on trepanning, I'm always going on about that. Someone in our year at school did serious damage to themselves by putting two pencils up their nose and slamming down on the table during an exam. Yes, I have interesting friends.

At 6:05 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

molly: The ole pencil up the nose trick historically almost always fails. Thank you for stopping by and even scrolling down far enough for the the ole Trepan post, Molly aint lazy...As for your mule, hitch the bag further back, so far back you may think you will fear it slipping down the mules arse. Then cinch it down. This is as safe as safe could be, you could keep ,sugar cubes, apples and crack cocaine in your saddle bags and it would be all safe from your mules prying nose. Thats it for tips on hiding crack from mules, ass's and even donkeys. JW

At 6:42 PM , Blogger Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

I think I said this oncet'

Breathe in the air
Make for the meadow and savour the grass while it lasts
By and by
Spidery fingers of industry reach for the sky
Brick upon brick, stone upon stone they grow
Choking the atmosphere, oh, so incredibly slowly
Sulphur and carbon and hydrogen sulphide and lime
Fever, corrosion and cover your cities with grime
Something is killing the land before your eyes
And the sunshine
Is not to blame
Could be the insane, inhuman games we play
Day by day
River and fool
??? (Rushing) home in a crowd, I'm alone
Close your eyes, lie still
You are a mountain stream and I am a hill
Far, far away
There is a field of blossom and bees and new mown hay
Breathe in the air
Breathe in the air
Breathe in the air
Breathe in the air

At 9:04 PM , Blogger YankeeHobbit said...

Hello there! Just now seeing your comments on my blog, thanks! Nice to know at least one person is out there.

The few ferry rides I have been on make me very sympathetic to your plight!

At 3:56 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Yankee H: Thanks, Ferrys are taking away jobs from bridges. But they do employee a number of search and recovery teams around the world.

At 7:25 AM , Blogger Toby said...

Just as long as those pesky ferries stay out of my Djibouti.

At 12:33 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toby: You can say that again! No problemo!

At 3:03 PM , Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

This blog has not been updated since last month.

I'm just saying...

At 6:25 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Mc: Enough said


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