Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I was able to fix my head with old sail cloth and ice. No Dr. visit required, despite my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my siblings, my aunts, uncles, and all my other next of kin; even my own peers told me to go to the Dr.
Well once again I proved them all wrong. The swelling subsided with the aid of ice and proper application. Call me crazy but if it takes me three attempts to bust a bottle on my own head, I always apply ice to the lump. I have been attempting to and always have succeeded to break bottles over my head, the problem with calling in the medics is they do not know which lump to apply the ice to. Despite common knowledge and common sense, so far I have come through my extreme hobby unhurt, other than memory loss, family interventions and some other things I cannot recall.
So let me tell you this is one fine post, best ever, best that I can recall. Now I need to stop because I am running out of