Saturday, June 07, 2008

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I was able to fix my head with old sail cloth and ice. No Dr. visit required, despite my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my siblings, my aunts, uncles, and all my other next of kin; even my own peers told me to go to the Dr.
Well once again I proved them all wrong. The swelling subsided with the aid of ice and proper application. Call me crazy but if it takes me three attempts to bust a bottle on my own head, I always apply ice to the lump. I have been attempting to and always have succeeded to break bottles over my head, the problem with calling in the medics is they do not know which lump to apply the ice to. Despite common knowledge and common sense, so far I have come through my extreme hobby unhurt, other than memory loss, family interventions and some other things I cannot recall.
So let me tell you this is one fine post, best ever, best that I can recall. Now I need to stop because I am running out of



At 12:29 PM , Blogger Helen Mansfield said...

I remember in college I was in a bar and ran into a kid who was a few years behind me in high school. He was bombed out of his skull, and I was sort of too.

We're chatting, and I turn my head for a minute, missing the moment he took hold of the neck of an empty Bud bottle, and smacked into his forehead.

Glass rained down on my hair and landed in my Amaretto sour, just like in the movies.

I looked back to see him put his hand up to his head, then blood began to ooze between his fingers and he slowly slumped to the floor.

The incident was made all the more embarrasing as I'm sure they figured out in the emergency room that he was underage.

Good times.

At 1:06 PM , Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Hey, it's gotten you this far. I say keep breakin' those bitches.

At 5:58 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Helen: Are you insinuating that my hobby is stupid? My hobby is more of an art not to be practiced by a rank amateur, the young man was stupid,he should have just left it to the professionals.

At 5:59 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Doc: You are so very right, thanks for the props.

At 5:31 AM , Blogger Zen Wizard said...

There appears to be a gnarly drought wherever that lake is.

Can't you buy those Hollywood cowboy bottles that break on your head from a prop store?

That would seem to execute the goal more efficiently.

At 12:17 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Zen, the whole point in Josh and beer is to knock him self out, using the contents or the bottle.

At 5:04 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: the drought is now a huge water problem, not even something "Depends" could cure.But what with all the global warming and climate change that has been happening since the dawn of time this is to be expected.

Toilets: Yes the two have the same basic side effects (but different, see phrenologist/Brain Doctor.I do admit the drainage of the bottles is much more fun than the disposal system I have employed.Thank you Toilets for keeping me honest since my birth.

At 2:14 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Too bad you don't live in Ohio and it was Sunday.


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