Thursday, April 12, 2007

Order ...Travels With Roscoe ...on My Mule

What does the tall skinny book in this photo have in common with the other books in the collection?They are all eclipsed by the new Novel based by the entire world’s friend Roscoe. Roscoe has invented a entirely new genre which may indeed be the ever elusive Great American Novel...Read the review below and then promptly place your order for the first edition of .....
Travels with Roscoe $4.00 with shipping and handling!

Here are what his peers are saying, through a well respected medium...

Ernest Hemingway, I would have shot myself sooner had I know there was going to be a Roscoe, all my work for nothing!

The Bard, I would have not have bothered putting quill to paper had I know there was going to be a Roscoe.

Tolstoy, I did not understand what he said, it sounded like he was speaking Russian, he did sound despondent.

Mark Twain, I would have remained a river boat captain had I known there was going to be a Roscoe.

The Reviews go on and on, we talked dozens of well-respected dead authors even a few ancient Greeks, they all said essentially the same thing, Roscoe is the only book you need on your shelf, in the library or at the University. Buy it HERE $4.00 With shipping

I know traveling in this great country, especially with a good woman and a chimpanzee, is the American dream. All I can say is that a I got lucky. I worked hard and I was able to retire early. I cashed out the business, threw the bikes on the bumper and hit the road. Roscoe

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71 Comments:

At 7:54 AM , Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Before I order, I need to know if the chimp made any contributions to this effort as I am indeed interested in his point of view.

Please advise.

 
At 10:16 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Erin: As you know monkeys are held in high regard in China.The original manuscript was written in Chinese, Tater the monkey translated this edition into english.

 
At 4:11 PM , Blogger Lee Ann said...

Josh, I am a Virgo too!

 
At 4:22 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Gental bloggers:

I got my copy of "Travels With Roscoe" today in the mail.

It's content made me smile many times.

If you need a smile, follow the links and buy a copy, it's three bucks, that's a deal.

Honest Mom

 
At 4:33 PM , Blogger SleekPelt said...

$3, right back atcha.

 
At 5:23 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

lee ann:Yes Virgos are in my opinion the best, tops some may say...

Toilets: Thank you for the endorsement, this will help my client/Friend Roscoe with his push to be a New York Times best seller list, I assured him we would break all sorts of records! Lets make the effort to prove me right! Thanks toilets you have helped US culture more than you know.

Sleekpelt: Three big ones and as far as I could tell this includes postage...You will laugh, or I will try to double your money back!

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger lorileelee said...

josh williams..
Now that the book is printed , Mom wont let go of it...so I will have to order my own copy...I have also thought of peicing together my own memoirs about my adventures with Roscoe and that damned Ape....If he shits in the kitchen one more time I will throw away that frigging toy air conditioner... Checking my date calendar I was wondering if Roscoe and I will be getting an invite to your wedding to the beautiful lynleelee? Can we bring tater the chimp along....lorileelee

 
At 6:03 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Blogger Denies this comment...It is out of My Mules control...Comment denied.(##Y#))))#@&&$##&$XXXXX and other code that is confusing.

 
At 6:40 PM , Blogger ing said...

Repairmanuals.com will be pleased indeed that they picked up this title -- it will be their cash cow, no doubt. Tell Roscoe that trad paperbacks are going for $14 a copy these days, so he needs to raise his price.

John Kennedy Toole, Kurt Vonnegut (R.I.P.), Steinbeck. Roscoe is in good company. Harper Lee, too!

 
At 6:46 PM , Blogger lorileelee said...

No confussion sir ..I heard the from little tater so it has to be true..... could there be two Josh's ? hummmm i will interagate that chimp maybe beat him with a few nana's...
Three bucks for the book plus shipping what a value...Mothers day is rapidly approaching ...I will have to order one for ma....one for daddy and all the graduates no more shopping malls for me...

 
At 2:41 AM , Blogger Toby said...

The check is in the mail, I mean I just placed my order with paypal.

I dated a Virgo for three plus years and she was pretty cool.

 
At 2:43 AM , Blogger Mone said...

Josh - will three dollars even cover the shipment to Germany?

 
At 3:54 AM , Blogger Winters said...

I'll be ordering ASAP Josh.

I'm praying there'll be change from the weekend booze-fest.

Peace.

 
At 3:57 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: RIP Mr Vonnegut...$14.00 but the cover art is already done? What to do, I just won't tell Roscoe. Although he was kicking around the idea of selling autographed copies for a whoping $4.50! add another $10. and we are there!

leelee: Order a bunch because at ings suggestion the price needs to go to $14.00, pooor Amazon, they loose this battle.

Toby: A wise purchase, a wise purchase. This is not a promise but I am pretty sure this little novel could change your life. Could Roscoe be the next L Ron Hubbard?

Mone: Don't know how Repairmanuel.com publishing company has it set up, we have some corporate sponsors, but its hard to imagine time material and even media mail, if they honor that overseas I dunno, put the coins in the slot and see what happens.I imagine the CEO of Repairmanuel.com will make necessary changes as needed, this is their first best seller.

 
At 4:02 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Winters: How did you sneak in there? When people see you in a Paris cafe reading TWR cover art proudly gracing the covers, they will immdiatly assume you are a man of great importance, free coffee,cognac,wine groupies yep Winters flash this book around and you will be the toast of Paris!Peace JW

 
At 5:36 AM , Blogger Crabby said...

Roscoe, you sly dog, you! Who knew?

Ok. Ok. Lemme shake my purse and count out what little monies I have left from 7 pounds worth of butt building ice caps. (is there an AA meeting for ice cap addiction?)

42 cents....um......OO quarter!...oh no wait, that's a token.

 
At 6:32 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

I looked into it and the $3 dollars does not cover postage, but the kind folks at Repairmanual.com calculates the postage according to your address, so expect another $3 to get you your copy.

I'll check into an on live version being published.

Sure Roscoe could have priced his book higher, but it's not about the money, it's about the art. The story about the Angry Amish is flat funny!

Okay, that's all, we are lucky to have Lorileelee posting here. We will be able to get the real story behind the ROscoe smoke and mirrors. (Lorileelee is Roscoes girl friend)

Mom

 
At 8:48 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilets: If I've said it once I've said a thousand times, the world is a better place because of toilets.

 
At 1:27 PM , Blogger tkkerouac said...

Can I buy it from Canada
What do you think of my last post?
Should I do it? Be honest.

 
At 3:20 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

tkkerouac: Canada is not that much of a stretch. From your profile and your sense of humor I think you would enjou Travels With Roscoe, boafide literature.
Speaking of bonafide, you latest project, how can I speak for the ladies, but it could be funny for awhile but being a guy and kinda understanding our primative form of thought you will recieve all sorts of faux phallic things. Hell go for it, you call the shots and can edit out the totally tastless, which men have a gift for, speaking as a man...I do think you will enjoy Roscoes humor, and the illustrations are original by a man known as Toliets. Who knows this could be the next great Amercian/Canadian Novel and collectors item. Best of luck JW

 
At 7:45 PM , Blogger Mone said...

I put my coins in the slot and there is no shipment charge to Germany (yet). Maybe I'm the first one ordering from over here? hahaha, I should get some roses with my order. Have a nice weekend Josh.

 
At 2:05 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Mone: So officially it can now be called an international best seller! Very cool, as for shipping I was told that it calculates shipping but it should show you the amount. I need to contact the publisher because if there is a glitch in the system and he is indeed not charging shipping and as fast as these things are moving off the shelf, it could bury him. International best seller's are a burden, I am proud to be the agent to the author the whole promotional tour is just wearing me down.

 
At 2:06 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

News Relaease shared with me by Roscoe...CHEETA, the chimpanzee that starred in the Tarzan movies in the 1930s and who is considered the world's oldest chimp, has celebrated his 75th birthday.

Cheeta, whose coat is now peppered with grey hair, marked the occasion with

a party featuring sugar-free cake and diet soft drinks in

the California desert town of Palm Springs, famous as a retirement community for old movie stars.

He has lived there with his trainer for the past 16 years.

Chimpanzees rarely live past their 40s in the wild but often live into their 60s in captivity.

According to his trainer, Dan Westfall, Cheeta's only health problem is that he has been diabetic for about seven years.

Cheeta was brought from Liberia in 1932 as a baby and made his movie debut in

1934. He starred in about a dozen Tarzan films and retired from his film career after appearing in the 1967 picture Dr Doolittle.

Cheeta outlived both his human co-stars. Johnny Weissmuller, who played Tarzan, died in 1984, aged 79, and Maureen O'Sullivan, who played Jane, died in 1998 at 87.

Mr Westall said there was plenty of life left in the veteran actor, adding: "He likes to go to the drive-through and get a hamburger."

Palm Springs Mayor Ron Oden later named the day Cheeta Day.

 
At 6:21 AM , Blogger SleekPelt said...

Josh, it didn't charge me shipping when I ordered -- $3 total.

 
At 7:08 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Oh yea, it's a new kind of program, you send ME the money for postage, it's $1,100 Make it cash, that will save you another 3%

Mom

 
At 11:19 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

sleek: Ignore Toilets...I just emailed Len at motocom and he told me his system was set up to charge at the minumum $5.00 for shipping, he felt this was to much for the small, but powerful novel. I suggested we raise the price so he is not loosing his arse. These things are flying off the shelf! I need to have him raise the price to cover shipping... Thanks for the note, Mone who lives in Germany mentioned the same thing, it has to cost more than $3. to ship to Germany, we gotta talk some sense into Lens head...Kind Regards JW

 
At 11:55 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Ignore Toilets huh? That's some advice, whats he supposed to do? Offall in the closet? A old paint can? Toilets are the best invention since book readin. Why I oughtttaa!

Mom

 
At 2:13 PM , Blogger Toby said...

"What does the tall skinny book in this photo have in common with the other books in the collection?"

It's missing a staple.

 
At 4:29 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilets: I sense you wrist was limp while writing this comment.

Toby: Lord boy, I do not mean to be rude but you can not judge a book by its cover or number of staples...My client and friend Roscoe wrote a book so good that even when it comes to tell of it I have no need to lie...(This comment heavily borrowed for the fisherman’s prayer.

 
At 4:31 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toliets: Toliets have been adabted very succesfully for reading, so be proud that you have helped people learn right.

 
At 6:15 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

NEWS RELEASE! TRAVELS WITH ROSCOE HAS BECOME A BEST SELLER, IT NOW COSTS $4.00 WITH SHIPPING AND HANDLING...NO NO SHIT...THIS IS A DEAL!!I FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT CALLING THE FRIENDS FORGOT AND NOT TELLING THEM ABOUT THIS! SHITE I AM TRASH ITSELF, AND YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ARE FOOLS IF YOU DO NOT BUY THIS CLASSIC! MY BEST JW

 
At 4:12 AM , Blogger ~d said...

(haha, at 'it's missing a staple!)

ordering right away!
~d ♥ JW

 
At 4:21 AM , Blogger ~d said...

You've sent a secure payment of $4.00 USD to RepairManual.com through PayPal. You'll receive an email receipt shortly.

HIP HIP HOORAY!!

~d ♥♥♥ JWW

 
At 4:23 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

It has two staples, three would not be earth friendly. The other books are bound with glue made from dead animals.Travels with Roscoe is vegetarian friendly.

 
At 4:33 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

~d I ♥ you and let me assure you if everyone on our this big blue marble of ours purchased just one copy of Travels with Roscoe (about author written by me) The world would be a better place.

 
At 2:30 PM , Blogger SleekPelt said...

mom, my son ignores toilets and it seems to work out pretty well for him.

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

sleekpelt: Damn fine point that toilets should pay close attention to, he feels he has cornered the market on skat!

 
At 4:46 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Sleek: Your son and my dog neither one use the toilet, at least my dog will go out side, he won't put up with a diaper.

Josh: Kiss my toilet

Roscoe: I sold another copy today and a couple of friends are weakening, I'll hit it hard this week.

Mom

 
At 7:02 AM , Blogger zen wizard said...

Well, congratulations!

I think you have learned one thing--next time drive across America with just the chimp.

(If you give a chimp a banana, he will shut up.)

 
At 7:32 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilet: Talk to the monkey

Zen: Ah to many banannas and crayolas and you got trouble.

 
At 1:28 PM , Blogger sombrero11 said...

I haven't bought Erin O'Brien's book yet. I would feel guilty if I bought yours.

 
At 2:01 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Sombo:
So buy them both! I don't know how to order Erin's book but I'm sure she will be in here soon and give you all the details.
Roscoe went out of his way to make it easy, and cheap! That's $4 bucks to your door! Come on, be a hero, click and read.

Mom, or Toilets as they like to call me.

 
At 2:09 PM , Blogger Toby said...

Thought you would enjoy this if you haven't all ready. - http://www.endurohimalaya.com/gallery.htm

 
At 2:38 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

s11: I spoke with Erin, she asked that you buy Roscoes, book, it is not mine. She suggested you buy her book as well but without a doubt she wanted to you to buy Roscoes...OK Erins link is on my site and you can go buy her book as well I did and even gave it a rave review on Amazon!

Toliets: Your workin'

Toby: Very cool thanks, the Royal Enfield, new bikes built from the 1950s specs.

 
At 4:09 PM , Blogger The Dalai Mama said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 4:11 PM , Blogger SleekPelt said...

Hey, more on the Royal Enfield. Love those retro bikes. Josh, we may have to try to get on that ride next time. (Sorry, previously posted from my wife's account.)

 
At 4:32 PM , Blogger Lee Ann said...

Roscoe sounds amazing Josh!

 
At 4:33 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

sleek: Did that not look like a blast, count me in! That is a vacation. Did you see the air the helmetless guy had? Cool slide show, thanks Toby...

 
At 4:34 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

lee ann: he is, improve your life buy Roscoe!

 
At 5:40 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Well, I want to go to the Himalays too.
I could get Roscoes chimp, Tater.
He and Josh would make great traveling companions, all but them throwing thier poop!
I understand they have a thing called a "Pit Toilet" in the Himalays, this is quite interesting to me. Guess they have Moms there too.
So count me in.
Back to work....
"Buy the book! Buy the book!"
Mom

 
At 7:30 PM , Blogger SleekPelt said...

Josh: Yes, that's crazy, on a freaking Royal Enfield. We'll link to this slideshow in Road Racerhead on Friday.

Toby: Really is awesome, thanks.

Mom: Three's company, four's two pairs.

 
At 3:16 AM , Blogger Toby said...

You're welcome.

 
At 3:58 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

toliets: Your toilet knowledge intimidate me.

Sleek: Your math skills intimidate me.

Toby: Your welcome.

 
At 5:22 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Ladies and Gentalmen

Seems we have wandered off the subject of this blog, to help Roscoe promote his book.

I am hitting the road today with a stack of them under my arm (I hope they don't get all sweaty and the ink starts running) I hope to sell at least a dozzen, proceeds going directly to Roscoe.

Sleek, your issue should be there soon, hopefully it will make you smile, maybe you could put a blurb on your site, X Rated? Or is it EX Racer, I dont know, it's not like I really read or listen to this stuff, I am focused on my work.

Buy the book! Buy the book!

Mom

 
At 1:56 PM , Blogger Crabby said...

I ordered mine and am axiously waiting here by the window.

 
At 3:21 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

crabby: You are good people. I would suggest setting a lawn chair and cooler by your mailbox to insure you do not miss delivery, post office emloyees are subject to temptation, do not let them fall prey to the temptation of stealing your well earned copy of Travels with Roscoe...Tank you berry much JW

 
At 2:44 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Looks like this string has about run out.
Wyatt, ( I call Josh Wyatt when I want to be serious) Wyatt I say, better get some fresh blood in here. I've done picked all the scabs and broke all the crust on these turds, I need some fresh meat to pick on.

Can every one else put a link to Joshies blog so we can help Roscoe sell his book?

I sold 6 copies yesterday! And I don't have no blogger support team, I'm just me and my work boots. Door to door, "Will sell books for food"

Thank ya'll for buying Roscoes book. Uhhh, that's all the smart and smart ass comments I have for now, let me drink a couple of beers and I'll be back.

Mom

 
At 4:21 PM , Blogger Phats said...

Jesus 57 comments?!

I will buy it will you loan me 4 bucks?

 
At 4:59 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Phats for four dollars the world is yours!

 
At 8:09 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Before Roscoe cashed out and traveld the world he worked like the rest of us, I dug into the archives and found this letter from one of his early groopies... It seem Roscoe knows about everything and dabbles in all sorts of business's. Why just recently he brokered a deal selling a bunch of empty beer bottles to someone in North Carolina, the transaction required 3 middle men. My point, nothing is simple with Roscoe, ask a question be prepared for a tale. But if you are looking for something the dudes better than ebay, he can find you anything and if not maybe some empty beer bottles will work.



Oh Wonderful Cait,

Please pardon my slow reply, sorry. I've looked briefly at that folk art section and I'll check on it again. I'm a very bad impulse purchaser. I get grabby in check-out lines. Batteries and tictacs my plunder. . . Oh, that Milk Duddy goodness. eBay tempts me with the same allure. I wear an aluminum foil hat to avoid financial ruin.

I once owned a velvet Elvis. Remember Cait, I live in the outback and work in lands even more wondrous. My velvet Elvis hung proudly, high in our work shop, an angelic protector watching over us as we toiled. The bust of HIS likeness stood four feet tall and two and some wide. The head pillowed upon black velvet framed in magenta, white and gold. Magnificence defined.

The owner's son, whose sense of humor was not sharpened by wit but rather by the misfortune of others, ordered the destruction of the tapestry. He claimed "The shop is no place for crap like that". The Eyes of the king followed him, the reason for his unnerving. He laughed as he struck the portrait and threw it into a cabinet.

One night, a dark and rainy night, kind harted thieves crossed the rain mirrored streets into the building. They nabbed the woven masterpiece and stole across the plains of Indiana, streaking toward liberation. Now in the far reaches of southwest Boone County resides a man whose admiration for Elvis has no equal. Exhausted from the adventure they found themselves huddled under the incandescent glow of his porch light. A feeble knock at the door.

A moment, a clack of the latch, slight in stature a man stood giant against the gray-violet hue of a television, his eyes reflective glass. Through the hiss of rain the box sang of "Blue Hawaii". In the porch light amber a porkchopped, sideburn cascaded to his jaw and brushed the high collar of a button down shirt. A burglar mumbled and handed him the cloth. He replied in a uniquely familiar tone "Thank you ladies and gentleman. Thank you very much." and as he turned to the shadows and closed the door, the air whispered from a twinkling rhinestone frock.

It is said that our pirates stood for a moment to contemplate and you could see a twinkle on their faces. Droplets of rain or tears of pride and satisfaction, I'm not certain.

Cait, that's the way I heard the story. It's based, albeit loosely, on fact. I did have a velvet Elvis. The boss' son didn't like it hanging in the shop and ordered it taken down. There is a guy named Les who now has a velvet Elvis. Above all, the first three letters in Elvis are E - L - V and everybody knows that elves are magic. Remember, I live in the outback and work in lands even more wondrous.

Roscoe

 
At 5:38 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Yippie! More gospel from the fingers of Roscoe.
Your books are on the way, this is not a scam, uhhh would we really dream up a $4 dollar scam?
For more fun, buy the book, do a good deed, help Roscoe get a hair cut and the leather on his air plane seats are cracking. How can we let him live like this?
Mom

 
At 6:50 AM , Blogger Melissavina said...

This book will be on every nightstand, coffee table, and bookshelf in America. I can't wait to save up enough to buy my own copy!

 
At 8:09 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilets: To busy to comment must reply to mellisavina...

melliasvina: Lie cheat and steal if you have to it will be the best investment you ever made. Buy Roscoe and all your wildest dreams will come true.

 
At 2:25 AM , Blogger ~d said...

Heya Josh...I got my Roscoe up!

Thank you for the link!

xxoo

 
At 3:17 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

~d: Cool, Roscoe will soon buy Google with the proceeds form sales.I say good for him, good for all of us, you buy Roscoes book you buy shares in Roscoes Industries LLC, how can you go wrong? JWW Speaking for Roscoe without actually clearing any of these promotional ideas with him, but ah what the heck he would say go for it right?

 
At 10:18 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Something odd happened the Coen brothers contacted me and want to turn this Roscoe thing into a feature length motion picture...I have just ordered a casting couch. I don't know how to keep Roscoe from finding out, he may want a cut. Its Rockin!

 
At 10:58 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

How cool would a Roscoe movie be!!

First he writes a book, then sells the movie!

Who knew such success could stem from real life?

Who really belives a word Roscoe writes?

I bought the book, it made me smile, I'll put in $20 to help with the movie. Can I play Side Show Roy?

Mom

 
At 2:32 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilets: who do you think he based Freakshow off of...You would not even have to play act!

 
At 5:49 AM , Blogger EBEZP said...

~d's blog put me on to this and I have just ordered and pay paled!
Still $4 even to this side of the pond!

 
At 11:54 AM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Josh: I already have my name mentioned in the book and it's NOT Side Show Roy, I could play two rolls in the movie.

Make up!

ebezp Thanks for ordering your copy of Roscoe. I hope you like it. We are trying to help our friend Roscoe, so once you get your copy and hopefully it makes you smile, maybe you could turn your friends on to it.

We all thank you.

Mom

 
At 12:20 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ebezp: Thanks and across the pond ye shall be the talk of the town strolling the streets with a copy of Travels With Roscoe under your arm...Cool indeed!

Toilets:Freak Show Roy has you written all over it, you shall be played by that guy they just kicked of AMerican Idol.

 

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