Monday, March 13, 2006

Movies Are The Bomb




My brother wrote me recently (among others) for advice on movies to watch. He had been to Block Buster and thought the selection sucked. A friend of mine came to the rescue with some titles gleened from http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
which was gleened frome Brad Yungs collection of the hundred worst porn titles. If anyone has advice for my brother toilet for movies to watch please let me know ,the poor boy is desperate. JW


1. Jerk Your Cum Crayon And Color Me White - You kids play nice, now ...
2. Beverly Hills 9021-Ho ! - I can rhyme, too ! 9021-NO ! See ?
3. I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus - which caused the severe childhood trauma which led to a lifetime of doing nothing but watch pornos ...
4. 21 Hump Street - let me guess, starring Johnny Deep ?
5. Shaving Ryan's Privates - It's a gay film. As I said above, I did not include any gay titles because they always make me giggle or extremely uncomfortable, and it would have doubled the number of titles I would have had to sort through. I am not gonna open the floodgates ...
6. Edward Penishands - Everybody recommends this one.

7. DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO ? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.
8. ULTRA KINKY #79 - BOWLIN' IN HER COLON - Bowling balls and colons, such a pretty image.
9. ASS-HOLE O MIO - You've got to be kidding.
10. HOMEGROWN VIDEO #489 : FUCK THE CANUCK - Trouble rhyming "bitch" today?
11. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky ...
12. GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won't be it.
13. BACKDOOR ADVENTURES OF BUTTHEAD AND BEAVER - Too obvious.
14. HINDFELD - A porno about nothing.
15. TEA BAGGER VANCE - Did anybody see the original movie ? Yeah, whatever.
16. MUSIC TO FUCK TO - ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A LABIA - I would watch this if they actually got Lionel Richie to sing the new lyrics with a close-up shot of him crying.
17. GERANALMO - Sure, why not ?
18. BRASSIERE TO ETERNITY - You're reaching ...
19. TIG OL' BITTIES - Spoonerisms can be fun. Sometimes not.
20. MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming ...
21. TITS OF FURY - ... but not this one ...
22. GERMAN WHORE FARE - Well, I groaned ...
23. SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh ...
24. TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie ??? You're just making up words now.
25. MUFFUGNUGEN - That's just lame, man.
26. PRIME CUTS - ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST - You went to college for this ?
27. FILTHY FUCKERS #184 - POKE 'ER MON - Who exactly is your target audience ?
28. RIMMERAMA - It does kind of roll off the tongue, though.
29. HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.
30. HUNG WANKENSTEIN - Two, count 'em, TWO bad puns in one title ! I want this job !

12 Comments:

At 6:41 PM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

After this I refuse to be your brother.

 
At 6:54 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilet: I sense you where naked when you commented on my otherwise pristine site. Please show the courtesy to comment while your arse is not chirping on your pleather desk chair.

 
At 11:04 AM , Blogger jungle jane said...

is a Vagatarian someone who eats fish???

 
At 4:02 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

JJ: I always called em' fish eaters.But you could be right...

 
At 4:15 PM , Blogger MOM! Toilets Blogged! said...

too far, you have gone too far, there will be no coming back if you go any further down the gutter. That's why mother always called you Gutter Williams, cause you gone too far.

 
At 5:45 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Toilet: Roscoe says to me on the Ameche today that "you are internetikly challanged and are only able to post hateful comments". Anyway thats what he said. Thats what he said about you toilet! Enjoy sking and the last tram ride of Jackson you one eyed , lisping wallet tounge. Kind Regards JW

 
At 10:58 AM , Blogger ing said...

Wallet-tongue -- is that something like a muffugnugen? And muffugnugen -- isn't that the new breakfast sandwich at McDonald's?

Please enlighten.

 
At 3:58 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Visit Mom Toilets blogged to get the idea what a wallet tounge is...

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Don't forget "Lord of the G-Strings".
That one was only light porn, but kinda funny. The main bad-guy was this wizard who cast deadly fart attacks.

 
At 6:51 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

Le: I love a good fart attack scene. Thanks

 
At 9:22 AM , Blogger PerV said...

mMmMm...Where can I download "Edward Penishands" Everibody said is the fuuniest movie ever! But no one really have it... If you know where...please:

vidaperversa@gmail.com

 
At 9:53 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

perv: I dunno?

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home