Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Toilets Forced me to Post

I talked to Toilets today and he whined that I needed to post again because he was tired of my last post.So I wrote a speculative tangential book review, with the hopes of finding a book to apply it to, this I may need help with, suggestions welcomed.
JW 1/23/08

Speculative tangential book review:

I always looked forward to when my brother and myself were shipped to my mother’s parents in North Carolina for a portion of our summer break; we always learned from my grandparents and for a period I was permitted to use profanity. Lat, my grandfather permitted profanity for a number of years and taught me well, then like a Zen master he told me I could not use profanity; cold turkey the only way to stop in my opinion.
We learned early Toilets (brother) and myself how to handle firearms. Lat was a retired Game Warden a profession he began in 1930. Upon reflection 1930 was probably not the most popular time to be a Game Warden, his beat in the middle 30’s was and still is a very rural and remote area, lake Mattumuskeet.
Mattamuskeet National Wildlife Refuge, established in December 1934, includes about 50,000 acres of marshes, woods, and water. The dominant feature is Lake Mattamuskeet, which is 18 miles long, seven miles wide, and a tire deep.
But I digress, I sit after I read a book like this and I realize that the root of all our problems in society is the use of profanity instead of honest dictionary words. We as a society have become lazy with our words, which in turn leads to other problems like global warming and reality television. If every person in the USA trimmed their use of profanity by 25% I would bet a slop bucket full of fifties that the economy would rebound and honest could be used in the same sentence as politician. Just 25% that are all, now think if we raised the bar to 50% reduction in profanity or let us dream for a moment, a complete abolition of profanity! What would happen is we would live in an Eden like world, bliss on earth. My computer model has shown this to be true and I think we should all stop using for the lack of a better word, profanity.
Why this book inspired these thoughts I don’t know, it’s a good book and uses profanity but I enjoyed the read. I think you will also and this is not a line of BS paid for by the author agent or publisher it is my unsolicited advice.



At 5:14 PM , Blogger Mom! Toilets blogged! said...

Well, shit, if I cut my damn profanity by 50 damn perfuckingcent I won't have a fucking thing to say!

Can I use profanity in my thoughts?

Profane thoughts about pornography, a two word poem:

Fucking fucking.

The end,


At 5:24 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

toilets: We all have profanity in our thoughts, cut this shit out and you just might find the path.

At 5:36 PM , Blogger ing said...

That was a remarkable review of Bastard Out Of Carolina, Josh. I'm off to purchase a copy. I can't wait!

At 5:50 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

ing:Thanks ing I heard that Dorothy Allison can really spin a yarn. Let me know how you like the novel.

At 12:10 PM , Blogger zen wizard said...

It was a review of, "My Life in Radio--and As Just a Cantankerous Bastard with a Shitty Barber in General," by Don Imus.

At 4:48 PM , Blogger ing said...

Oh, Don Imus. I'll run out and get a copy, right away! Josh, I'll report back to you on the general plot, though I already have a very good idea of how it goes now. Thanks for not spoiling the ending.

At 4:45 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

zen: Very insightful as usual.That Don Imus is a regular literary lion. Thanks.

ing:Cool, I am most anxious to get my hands on this gem. Let me know how it goes,my review is glowing so in turn so should be the word wizardry of Mr Imus.
I think what I will do is shop this review to different writers and sell it to the highest bidder, but of course they have to pass the My Mule test and be voted in, this should prove interesting and profitable, all proceeds should go to a charity.


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