Thursday, August 25, 2005

Why wont they pay me?

You know I sometimes have to do things a little unsavory to support my sea monkeys.You buy them on a lark as a child but if you don't kill them by not caring for them properly,they will actually grow into full grown primates with appetites for exotic foods to match. Who ever met a monkey that demands freshly fertilized caviar? Do you know how much this stuff costs? LOTS! So at times I write book reviews (sometimes before I read the book)but you know I do a good job so is anyone hurt? It's all for my sea minkee's. Here is an example of a recent review which I have not received payment for, I spent a good deal of time selling this book and how am I rewarded? Nothing! I gave my life to my art but now I have dependents and I am torn, do I continue the book revue business or do I go into politics?

Victorian People and Ideas: A Companion for the Modern Reader of Victorian Literature by Richard Daniel Altick
Edition: Paperback
Price: $21.30
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours

36 used from $3.75

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Top of the line!, August 2, 2005
I am a professional critic so I have a few gripes. One the binding bent to easily when I threw the book against the wall. OK, so I have a problem with big words, the book uses big words when little words would suffice. Call me crazy but do not call me if you plan to read this p...I am told I will love the book and given time (and some time on the rack) I suppose I would, but at this point I will have to reserve judgement until I read the dang thang. Please do not hold your breath....Best book I have ever...Go read now!">


At 2:32 PM , Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I think you should definitely review books for a living. Read Kite Runner next (trying to decide whether to read it), OK?

I just found out the worst may want to sit down for this.

Sea Monkeys are just BRINE SHRIMP!!!

I know -- aaaaaaaaaaargh! Can you believe they would deceive us like that?!?!?!?!

At 5:24 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

I just talked to some marine biologist friends of mine and they confirmed your discovery. I think I will do the fetal thang for awhile and gather my thoughts. Dreams dashed in the briney surf onto rocks of reason. Dang, life will get better but how am I gonna pay those sign people I hired to make my massive "Sea Monkey Zoo" sign? Gotta curl up now, more later.

At 5:43 AM , Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I just emerged from beneath my ice pack to give you this for consolation.

At 12:32 PM , Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

Hey, can I have some money or something?

At 1:12 PM , Blogger josh williams said...

Sure why the hell not?

At 4:31 AM , Blogger Roscoe said...

"The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys" . . . Best Saturday morning TV show next to cartoons and “Stooges”. Sea monkeys are a variety of Artemia (crustaceans such as Brine Shrimp or Seed Shrimps), successfully marketed as a "pet" product due to the appealing underwater fantasies depicted by Joe Orlando in his cartoon ad illustrations. I know monkeys are funny, but Sea monkeys are funny and wet.


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