Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I'm cooler than Tom Cruise

I keep doing serious reseach on Scientology and keep finding fluff, I was sidetracked by this site which made me feel good about myself. I really am cooler than Tom Cruise. I suppose you have to start somewhere and starting at the bottom will build character, I suppose. Today will be my last foray into Scientology, the folks at their web site are trying to lure me into the "church" and I aint doin' it, hell I got a great offer to sell Amway and I going to pounce, oppurtunity knocked and I am not going to say "go away I'm waiting for oppurtunity"! At any rate I need to get back to my alphabet, I miss that project and all this stuff is just clogging my creativity.

Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Cruise has tossed off the shackles of Hollywood oppression and is piloting his Scientology-fueled funny car straight towards you. The tires are smoking and he's screaming to the stands about Katie, psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and Brooke Shields. We invite you to grab some popcorn and watch for a few minutes before the crash...

Kieran Mulvaney, Co-creator of will be on MSNBC tomorrow (Weds 6 July) at 4:50 eastern time - tune in!

July 4, 2005

Team Behind Website Demonstrate Spines of Spaghetti

After Tom Cruise super lawyer Bert Fields casually muses over a cup of coffee about prospect of legal action, team behind three-day old collectively voids bowels and runs for the hills, stocking bookshelves with the collected works of L. Ron Hubbard, joining the Church of Scientology, and announcing plans for

July 1, 2005

Brooke Bites Back

Furious at being singled out as the poster girl for all that Tom sees as wrong in the modern world, actress Brooke Shields has lashed out at the Crazy Cruiser in an opinion piece for The New York Times. Read the entire article here or do yourself a favor and check out the juiciest volleys in our new "Brooke Shields on Tom" section.

June 30, 2005

Some more gems...

Tom on Muhammad Ali
"I'm usually nervous to meet people that I admire because what if they're not cool or something?"

Tom on Katie:
"Our chemistry has clicked. We are so alike. I believe I have found the right one. And I want more children."

Tom on Death:
"The exterior is only one covering. I believe in rebirth. I do not have a fear of life or death."

Tom on Sex:
"Sex is great, if you are in a relationship. Otherwise, I find sex actually not so interesting. Without a relationship it is confusing."

Tom Cruise is:

A Lunatic
Stark Raving Mad
Just a little kooky
A Hollywood celebrity
(Display results)

From a reader:
Tom Cruise is nuts. I'd noticed that myself, of course, but I'm glad someone just came out and said it like it is. By the by, is there any possibility of a fanmail page on your site or something, so that us plebs can show our support? Thanks a lot.

You want letters? You got 'em! We've received hundreds and hundreds of emails today. Here's just a taste...

- Great site guys. It has taken Tom Cruise years to win me over as a fan. And just like that, over the last couple of months, he has managed to erode that right away. I was so looking forward to "War of the Worlds", but I sat there on opening day at the beautiful Grove theatres in Los Angeles finding myself unable to get his craziness out of my mind as I watched him on screen. Try as I might, I couldn't separate his role from his reality, and that is a great shame.

- Have been laughing hysterically since I found this hilarious site!! I sent it to all of my coworkers, I think they are all starting to think that I might be nuts. Even the emails about the site are too much for me. Thanks, I really love to get a good laugh, this definitely did the trick ;-)

- Classic... great site... really...

- A while ago I saw some utopia pictures in a Jehova's magazine, and there I saw the spitting image of Tom Cruise with a tooth paste smile. Maybe I am wrong, and is Tom Cruise the copycat of the man in the magazine pictures...well I don't know.

-Hi. I own a boutique marketing and public relations agency in NY and I am writing to say that I love the site, and specifically, the fact that you guys were so willing to state the obvious....that Tom Cruise has flipped out.

- Just watched the video clip of Matt Lauer vs. Cruise.... Not only is he incapable of stringing together an intelligible sentence, but it is painfully obvious that the man has been brainwashed and unable to form an original thought. Sad and sickening is his constant giggle fits over his baby bride. Would have liked the interview better if he'd gone up against Katie Couric, she would have sliced him into ribbons.

- Dude...this is the best site ever! Finally, a place where the truth is spoken! I love it, I love it, I love it!!!

- I have been searching for a way to share my feelings on Tom with others without having to actually speak with other people.

- Heard your web page talked about on the BBC while listening to see where the Olympics would be hosted, great idea can't wait for

- This guy is NUTS (and I mean that in the Barbara Streisand movie "Nuts" way) and needs thorazine in a BIG way (and I mean thorazine drool-your-own-pool big way) and man what he really needs is maybe an ice-pick lobotomy (it would definetely keep him from jumping on couches) and what we all need to do is CHANGE THE CHANNEL, although I do understand the whole train-wreck-gotta-look thing. LMAO I LOVE your site. keep on slacking!!

- Yup this explains it all, and makes me feel better. Thought I was the only one that Tom was goin out of his freakin mind. I liked him and enjoyed his movie, but now I think that he is just stark raved mad.

- I want to thank you guys for providing a forum for everyone who is shocked and dismayed at the outrageous and dangerous things this guy has been saying lately. My wife is a psychologist, and I have been personally offended by many of the things Cruise has said in the media. By the way, I happen to be an attorney, so if his lawyer decides to follow through on the threat of legal action, give me a call and we'll talk.

- i used to appreciate this guy as an actor, but since his comments regarding brooke shields and his thoughts on medication and depression, etc. i have lost total respect for this man.

- I just linked to the site through my favorite morning show's website and I love it! I've never been a huge Tom Cruise fan but his recent rants have just completely turned me off to him! As someone who really does know the history of psychology/psychiatry (I actually have a real, live Master's degree in it!) I completely disagree with him. This site was just hilarious and an excellent compilation of his most rediculous statements! Keep up the good work-I'm sure he'll provide plenty of material. He's freakin' crazy-and that's my professional opinion!

- It took me 5 try and 20 minuets to get on to this site. Your the most popular site on the web this week. All the radio stations are talking about you guys. I heard about you on the MJ morning show on 93.3 Flz (Tampa FL).

- Anybody but me think it sounds like the middle age crazies? Tom, get a grip man, your past making a fool of yourself.

- Tom should heed the old adage " It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"!!!!

- So impressed with this website and ever so grateful to read that many others feel as I do about Tom's recent "behavior disorders". Since getting off my anti-depressants, I thought perhaps I was truly losing my mind...glad to see it's not just me. I'm feeling much better now!!!!

- Thank You! It's about time!

- I read about your web site in the Chicago Sun Times. It's great. I bet Matt Lauer is in his office reading this stuff and laughing his ass off!

- I wanted to applaud you for saying what the rest of the world is thinking.

- Oh...the site is just the BEST!! Oddly enough Tom seems to display signs of manic depression...heavy on the manic! He would likely benefit from some psychiatric care, and medications for this chemical imbalance. *dies from the irony*

- Hey guys, love your site I heard about it on KFRC in San Francisco.

- i just want to congratulate you guys for creating this center for disease (megalomania) control. i'm sure mr. cruise is foaming at the mouth for having not thought of this himself. his campaign for shameless self-promotion was beginning to make me nauseous! poor katie! i'm sure nicole kidman is burning with shame that she ever married this freakazoid. by the way..... can you guys start up the kabbalah promoters are nuts site?

- Tom has braces? Can't vitamins and exercise straighten his teeth???

- Just thought I'd drop a line and let you know that is all over Australian radio today. Just had to come and check it out. He really has lost the plot!! Keep up the good work and look forward to seeing many more sites.

- You guys are HYSTERICAL!!! Read about your website in today's Daily News, and will now share it with all of my friends and family who agree with you! Thanks for the laughs. In this crummy world, and with the current wacko administration in Washington DC, we need all the laughs we can get!

- Marry me. I cannot thank you enough for offering the media-brainwashed citizens of America a look at the REAL Tom Cruise. was a start, but it's going to take more than a few websites to cure us of the sugar-coated views of Tom that we see every day on the TV and in magazines. Keep up the good work, and I hope to be hearing from you concerning my proposal.

- The day Mr. Cruise can push a baby out of his genitalia is the day he gets to dispute post partum depression.

- Heard about you from the New York Daily News' Lloyd Grove and ABCNEWSNOW's Gigi Stone on ANN's show, Tattle Tales, and logged on to your very amusing, intelligent, and entertaining site. Keep up the great work!

- Thank you for doing such a nice job providing valuable information and quotes about that eejit on your web page. As others have said, it's been long overdue. However, as well as you've done your job, I still have a problem. I've read and re-read all Cruise's statements, trying to glean the slightest sense from them, and try as I might, I still don't understand a word he says. His syntax is completely muddled, and his thoughts don't seem to follow a linear path. The guy is all over the place. Am I the only one who doesn't understand him? Does he even have the capability of making a coherent impromptu, unscripted statement?

- What a delightful tour of life in the low lane. High five to you.

- I love this site, I hated TC for years, now everyone else does. Thanks!

- Dudes; Funny site ! Can't wait for more. From Amsterdam

- You Guys are Brilliant. The John Travota site must be in the works, right? How about the Kirstie Alley site?

- ...the site is a great idea, and could be used for a lot more -- exposing scientology, the extent to which truth and fiction are mingled in media, and so on. Please do it.

- LOVE the website!

- I heard about your website on WCBS radio this morning and I am glad that I checked it out. Thank you for making me laugh! We defintely need more stuff like this on the web. Although Tom Cruise is quite a lunatic, his rants and raves lend themselves to endless hours (and days) of useful satirical material. Thank you for capturing that spirit...keep up the great work!

- Very seldom have I laughed so much!! Your page about that idiot Tom Cruise is absolutely great!! The fact that he is in so many movies and has so much money, does not make him a great actor of the caliber of the old ones. He just screams louder, has more explosions in his movies, is more hyper than others but that does not make him better. There are so many people who "deserve" to have a page "dedicated", that I am amazed you are not all over the place with them. How about one on the Mayor of Chicago? That midget really deserves one on him!! Keep up the good work.

- thank you gentlemen for making my day a little brighter. the ghost of my dead alien was getting a little worried that he/she will be exposed and was causing massive headaches for me LOL!

- Thank you..thank you...thank you! This website is the bomb!!! I love it.

- Your site is great.....share the love...

- Love your site! Heard about it on WMAL (Washington,DC)...keep up the good work! :)

Our use of the term "nuts" is meant, as defined in Webster's, as a reference to an "eccentric" person. That's all. We do not mean to in any way denigrate or belittle anyone with mental illness. In fact, we take mental illness very seriously, which is why Mr. Cruise's ill-informed rant inspired us to create this website. We don't have anything personally against Mr. Cruise, either. We think he's a first-class actor and a humanitarian. We did used to worry that he was a misguided zealot, but that's all. Now we think he's a dangerous, misguided zealot.


At 5:28 PM , Blogger Susan said...

I looked into the whole Scientology thing (along with a bunch of other philosophies) and what it came down to for me was this: Scientology says you are in control of your own perfection/evolution towards perfection. I don't know anyone who is free from "stuff" nor anyone in history who hasn't had their "stuff", so I can't buy that Scientology works. For me. Everyone has their own path to truth. Hopefully we arrive there at some point.


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