Tips on Spy Photography
FULL DISCLOSURE:I have to admit that this post was written after visiting a party that was serving beer that weighed in at 9% alcohol. Being used to beer I thought I had a tolerance, which I do feel in my heart of hearts is true, but when you double the alcohol and the beer tastes good, well all bets are off.
I used to be a home brewer until I realized that most of my work was squandered in a few hours at a party, so this may lend some credence to my beer brewing resume. My friends loved my home brew, but you know its kinda like cooking, the clean up is the worst part.Brewing is fun but after the party is over and you are cleaning you become to loose interest, brewing requires at least twice the diligence in sanitizing that good cooking requires.(You cook on dirty pans your guests just suffer food poisoning, you brew in unclean surroundings and the beer tastes bad, beer just tastes bad there is not bacteria that can live in alcohol) So I gave away all of my equipment and just buy the stuff, there are some great beers out there and it is worth the price to not spend hours cleaning and sanitizing every piece of brewing equipment. (real pain)
So the photo is taken in another country with a Nikon Cool Pix 4 mega Pixel camera. I had a friend point out that there was an attractive woman behind me, I did not turn around, why? Why? Because I had an epiphany I realized this cameras lens would spin 360 degrees , so I just held the camera flipped the screen pointing backwards (aka behind me) and snapped this photo. Had it not been for the time delay with the lower end digitals I would not have been able to post this photo because you would have been able to identify her face,( lack of model release, international lawsuits, we all know the story) as it stands I snapped the photo my flash blinded my friend and I captured the decisive moment a second to late. Had she spoken American I would most probably been married to the woman given her obvious need for a good ole fashion American to save her from hardships of a country that does not use American as its first language. As I hunt and peck I realize this would have affected this post, I may not have married this woman. Had she spoken American and I swept her off her feet, this post would have never surfaced. Its funny how life happens.
posted by josh williams @ 15:57
8 Comments
8 Comments:
Erm... what is this 'American' language you speak of? I only know of English! :P
clea:English is a fine language but it aint no American, no offense but American is a language full of different words and stuff, I could explain but I'm late for work and its kinda complimicateded.
I think it is better when they DON'T speak American because then they can't make fun of your car and tell you you need to get a second job and buy them more shizz.
When basking in the honeymoon period of the mail order marriage, cherish those first six Berlitz-free months, sayeth I...
zen: I reread my post and discovered a number of corrections I could make, but nay, the work stands.
As for teaching the mail order American? Bad idea,learn he language isolate herself from other potentialy more lucrative deals (sporty men with expensive everything) buy her work out equipment and translate your favorite recipes to her. So you keep her looking hot, she does not leave you for another and you can just fart around and do whatever you want. Now this is not sexist, I feel there are plenty of women out there who would enjoy a good looking gent, who catered to their every whim with little threat of betrayel. I may turn this into a how to book for mail order brides and hubbys, for the professional woman.Zen if you write it I'll split 50% of the profits with you! Done deal, spit and a handshake.
hey! I'm going to a party but I'm concerned about the papparazzi stalking me. I hear they lurk when you least expect them. I speak both English and American, too.
Teach the mail order hott a few select phrases:
1) Liposuction.
2) Nivea Micro-Mist Tanning Spray.
3) Breast enhancement.
4) Sexy rose tattoo.
5) TJ Maxx Clearance markdown.
6) Dogstyle.
7) Wash, cut, and blowdry.
###
That is all she really needs to know at this point. She does not need a cell phone to yak to American chicks in American.
Even if she'd have turned around and you'd have gotten the photo of her face, I think you'd have been okay to post. On the slim (or perhaps large chance ... maybe your site is quite popular in her non-American speaking land) chance that she would see it, she'd not be able to read your information to file a suit anyway.
Her neck is nice, though.
Will: Yep I could have probably have posted her face but I suppose this is for the best since this photo illustrates the difficulty's I have to go through when sent to foreign countries to collect intelligence, and then turn what I think is intelligence over to someone intelligent to analyze and then advise the powers that be that their new spy photographer is great if necks were a key to subject identification.
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