Saturday, November 26, 2005

Tattoo too

Why? Because I liked the story.

Tattoo Two News

More Tattoos on
Charlie Williams, Bizzarologist
Trail Rider Magazine

Charlie, Trail Rider is not an open forum for your lunacy, just because you own a motorcycle doesn't mean I have to print your unrelated gibberish. Stick to the point or you'll find yourself back in pulp. This is the last article on tattooing. I'm sorry I ever mentioned it.


Dear readers, thank you so very much for all the letters and phone calls about my first tattoo article. I really appreciate your input, but in the future please consider others feelings. I'm afraid we have been scaring Mrs. Clipper. Sure, I enjoyed the goat head, but the blood-soaked box was a little too much. I guess blood ran down the mailbox post and attracted a pack of New Jersey jackals. The entire Clipper clan was trapped. This type of situation does not endear me to the Clippers. If we are not more careful, I'm afraid Paul may revoke my poetic license and go back to printing techno trash. A cheer from the insomniacs.

Another thing I must clear up is my personal style of quotes and quotation marks. First off is the "single" quotation mark. Well, this means I either made up the conversation or I've changed it so it would be funny. ""Double"" quotation marks mean it is close to what was actually said or at least thought. """Triple""" marks mean it is quoted the best I could remember but can still not be considered totally accurate. """"Quadruple"""" quotation marks mean although the words are quoted exactly they may be used out of context with my own slant and inflection.

I'm sorry, but no one stands a chance of fair reporting with me at the keyboard. All events are filtered through my sponge-like brain and trickle out my fingertips. It is through this Zen type of writing I am able to translate and quote body language. I also possess the powers to translate dog thoughts. I write only to entertain, not to report. Please consider this next time you send rotten fish guts to the magazine.

You may sense a variation in qualities about my writing. Like this piece--it's just a lot of disconnected thoughts, but bear with me... I think I do have a message, I just can't figure out how to say it. Writing is a lot like riding or surfing or climbing: some times you got it, some times you don't. In writing there are good days and bad days, rookies and pros, there are rules and politics, there are over-rated stars and there are under-respected locals. It is also the middle of winter and there was really nothing to write about. I could describe my room. The walls and floor are a sea of mattress buttons. Need I say more?

Some of you sharper readers may wonder what any of this has to do with tattoos. Nothing really, but tattoos are the same, as any circle, pro guy, rookie, wannabe's, and your hard core tattoo lovers. Now, another question from the audience: what do tattoos have to do with motorcycles? Besides the most obvious uses of tattoos, like marking broken bones and giving your doctor a medical history inscribed on your body. Tattoos will not make you a faster rider. Tattoos will enhance your confidence. By permanently scarring your body in a moment of bad decision you must either accept your mistake and rise above it or you remain beat down by the social acceptance of "Easy Meat" tattooed into your biceps. Most people do rise up over the tattoo stigma. They are the strong people who are proud of themselves and any bad decision they may make.

So what I want to say is, nobody's perfect, very few really try. I'm from this sect. The only important thing is I'm okay with it and should not be persecuted for my looks or how well I can ride a bike or arrange words. I'm a regular guy looking to have a good time. My greatest treasures in life are things you cannot buy. I've had to earn them with effort; not exchange money for them.

Why spend your life trying to paint the perfect picture and finally fail? Paint many pictures, enjoy the time spent creating. That is where the true joy of painting comes from, not the finished picture on the wall. It is more fun going to the art shop hanging out looking at all the new gadgets sold to make you a better painter, eventually passing them by and settling on something obscure and special, thereby impressing the pants off the sales girl. Later you bump into her at the art fair where you do not win a ribbon or any recognition, but for the sales girl who thinks your painting cool. "Why won't it dry?" Who is the winner in this story? The queer arguing with the blue-haired ladies over a trophy, or the guy that picks up the sales girl? I think you might start seeing things my way now. I'm not trying to change your mind, just open it.

I ride bikes for the adventure. I enjoy the long road trips. I enjoy getting to ride in all kinds of places. Sure, I like winning, but that is not the measure of a successful trip. Everybody who rides is equal to all other riders--maybe not in skill level, but equal in the fact they have gotten up off the couch to ask more out of life. The thrill a novice feels bumping a berm is the same thrill the expert gets doing a double jump. The risk and rewards are different but the thrill, excitement, and emotion are the same. Riding is a one man sport, no team to hide behind, just you and what you can do. Win lose or quit, it is up to you, no one else can dictate.

So the next time you line up at the start, look around. Realize we ride in the dust of our fathers, we make the ruts for our children. Individually you are not a leader but part of a whole, and that whole is what motorcycling is, was, and will be. Your life is your lap around the track of life--do you save yourself for the end or do you go wide open till you blow? In a race where you don't know when it will be over, you had better go hard from the start. Won't you be squeezing the nurse's fingers soon enough? Better to leave with an empty wallet and a full heart.

Strike out on a new mission right now; to fill the heart with all the adventure you can dream up. Try new things, do old things more, go on vacation, live right now! Yesterday is gone and there are only a few more tomorrows.


At 3:09 AM , Blogger madman said...

The quotation explanation reminds me of a quote, """Don't let the truth get in the wayy of a good story."""

At 3:40 AM , Blogger Rae Ann said...

I've wanted a tattoo since I was 16. Uh, I'll do the math for you, that's 21 years of trying to decide what and where to get it. LOL And I grew up riding a motorcycle with my dad. He used to take me to my ice skating lessons on it. Quite a sight to see!

At 4:23 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

MM, I like the """quote"""
rae ann, my brother does not have one tattoo, ot one! He does ride a motorcycle and ice skate. I think he ice skates just so he can wear tights, quite a site to see.

At 5:17 AM , Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

I have come up with my own style of punctuation as well.

I really wish this would catch on.

You know how sometimes you make a statement that is meant as a question, but is not actually a question?

For example, "I wonder how I should punctuate this sentence."

Not a question, but begs an answer.

You can't really throw a question mark on there, so I offer you:


The pondercation point.

Try her out:

I wonder how I will punctuate this sentence~`

I can think of no better alternative.

This will be part of McDougal's Presidential bid in '08.

At 6:35 AM , Blogger josh williams said...

The pondercation point. I wonder why I had not thought of this~`
Uh Oh your running for president also~` I've been offered the honorable position of Ambassador to France by mamdman in his bid for office. I'll gladly take a position of great power if you win as well. How will I vote, I'll vote twice for both of you! How is that for diplomacy~`
By the way I love the pondercation point, don't know how I lived without the thing~`

At 9:08 AM , Blogger sugarpunk said...

so are you offering to tattoo me?... i think i need a new one... my only one was 10 yrs ago...

thanks for stopping by my blog!


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